OMG, Logan's got a story! It features toxic masculinity, barbecue, AND a health fair! What more could you ask for?

Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, we're back! Esther's more or less regained the ability to speak, Aoife's got hamster facts, and Karen's having a sports-induced breakdown. Meanwhile, Jessi's hooked on synchro and Mallory's hooked on self-pity.

On today's agenda: getting hyped for the 2226 Winter Spacedeathlympics; Claudia experiments with copyright infringement; Karen falls for a fictional billboard; we are menaced with sea swimming; learn to run fast with this one weird trick; a disappointing lack of roistering; we get ANGRY and PEDANTIC about humidity; a public speaking golem.

For your edification: Maniac 2000

Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, it's almost the end of the year and we still haven't recorded the second half of Jessi's Gold Medal! The poor girl will be freezing by the time we eventually manage to get her out of that pool. In unrelated news, we haven't yet shaken off the curse that may or may not have been placed upon us by an angry fictional eighteenth-century New England farm hand. However, we have worked out a way to bring you something vaguely novel, especially if you (like us) have almost no recollection of what we were talking about back when we started the podcast in 2020.

From the vaults: we find out the origins of the Stoneybrook swinging scene; helpful tips for knitters; Cold War parenting priorities; we want to know (but more importantly Stacey wants to know) what luv is; cones of digression; Chekhov's surname; important parade etiquette from 1994; altogether far too much discussion of inferior chocolate substitutes; the most glamorous holiday gastric procedure you'll ever undergo.

All clips come from our first ten episodes. Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

We'll be back once Esther regains the ability to gab for several hours at a time.

OMG, there's a missing child! And for once, a bunch of middle-school girls actually *are* the best people to solve this, because the adults are busy making casseroles and phoning Kristy to trauma-dump. Meanwhile, Mary Anne makes Jell-O.

On today's agenda: cutting-edge computer technology; a mysterious lack of Jessi; a catalogue of OSHA violations; Barratt family revisionism; how to get your kissing face just right; cutting-edge weapons technology; historical turnip grievances; Stoneybrook's rich Francophone heritage; cutting-edge time-travelling cassette-tape technology.

Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

We haven't gone away, things just got busy over the summer. If only we could send our kids to an illegal daycare to free up some time...

OMG, Mallory's finally found her dream horse! Unfortunately she's also found her nightmare horse, so, win some lose some. Meanwhile, we debate which legendary Irish figure would look best on stilts, and there's some stuff about a blanket.

Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Kristy's running for eighth-grade president! Which sounds extremely low-stakes until you compare it to Mallory's unopposed run for seventh-grade secretary. Plus, a delightful glimpse of what might have been, if only Scholastic weren't COWARDS.

On today's agenda: Alan Gray's writhing corpse; pizza legalities; Esther questions the nature of her reality; gritty, challenging middle-school theatre; a terrible shortage of visiting authors; delicious moles; pandering to the electorate for fun and profit; extensive bike-based misery; a Frookie Cookie deep dive.

Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, there are 2 many babies! Well, it's more like two actual babies and a ton of eggs that the girls and their pretend husbands have imprinted on, because it's the mandatory egg baby episode! Plus, we all learn a valuable lesson about not relying on were-hedgehog erotica for accurate information on natural history topics.

On today's agenda: real men dispose of their documents responsibly; Karen goes against her own moral code but stops short of murder; Logan fails as a provider because he's 13; more cinema-based humiliation; 32 pages on the real meaning of marriage; an unusually entertaining yet troubling Pike chapter; WE WENT TO LONDON AND DID THE THING; a traumatic egg-based jumpscare; non-toxic, painless baby paint; the one non-negotiable requirement of competent parenting.

Full context for the ferret thing: https://www.newsweek.com/move-over-meerkat-manor-87497

Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

OMG, Mallory's found a ghost cat! Or a reincarnation cat? Or possibly just a regular cat? This book definitely comes down on the side of "ghosts are real", but is EXTREMELY vague on what ghosts actually are and whether they can use a litterbox. Also, the Pikes learn about Alzheimer's! Merry Christmas, folks!

On today's agenda: a litany of crimes against food; the cool lesbian biker auntie we all wish we were; Mallory and Jessi's shameful secret; it's not crop theft if you know the farmer; some remarks about aging that are frankly uncalled-for; cut-rate ectoplasm detectors are a false economy; Claudia Kishi, old-person whisperer; Esther's cat chooses violence.

Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, drop us an email, or come say hi on Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!