We’ve talked at length about many of the horrors implicated by the crazy-pants world of Pokémon. But one of the most horrifying implications is the idea that a 10-year-old child could hold the power to destroy the fabric of time and space itself literally in their pocket. These are literal gods who should be worshipped, not thrown in a box waiting to be taught Cut. So this week, our team of seasoned Poké-Theologists are presenting their bids for our new Pokémon God who isn’t Arceus...because Arceus is literally the Pokémon Christian God.

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