Spooky Season is over?! Not if the Good MILF can help it, but first hear about the roller coaster rides of the various dates she's had over the past two weeks; where she rates her hinge dates like amazon reviews.  This will be an ongoing segment as we move forward because it is just as exhilarating as it is traumatizing identifying new red flags, green flags, and modernizing dating advice based on very true first-hand experiences.  Crista explains when to enact the phases of friend-zoning; what the phases of friend-zoning are; and why we don't compliment a specific type of man. In this episode, we also learn various ways to gain perspective and guidance from zodiac signs, planets, and birth charts.  We learn if karma is actually a bitch by identifying where Saturn is in our birth charts and then checking on our exes to see how those dishes were served.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, we learn about "The Grand Penile Configuration" (birth chart/dick size experiment - hint: give 1 inch for each placement and then add an inch for each testicle).  Also, 11/11 make a wish.