Hey there, polka fans, it’s your accordion-squeezin’ host, Jeff, droppin’ the grooviest news roundup this side of the DMZ! Episode 4, “Polka at the Alp-ollo,” is a swingin’ bash, spinnin’ May 18-24, 2025, with a zippy-zing that’s keener than a jukebox on overdrive. I’m servin’ up 23 headlines in a yodel-packed Alpine polka, from Israel’s Gaza genocide to Trump’s Putin deal; plus Diddy’s courtroom skid and Nancy Mace’s reverse revenge porn movie marathon. Then, I’m bustin’ out with “Nancy Mace Anatomy,” a grrl power firecracker about a feisty gal who’s all boobs and bravado and bathroom bans—my kinda tune! This episode’s a hoot, packed with more turtle power than a tabloid in a tizzy, so grab your pod-catcher, check the Substack notes for lyrics and videos, and let’s polka like it’s 1952!

Polka Week in Review: May 18 to May 24, 2025

Polka week in review, May eighteen to twenty-four’s news,Headlines shout, the polka’s clout, let’s take a cruise!From Gaza’s fire to Trump’s desire, let’s go 1 2 3,Grab your accordion, alpine style, Adjust Accordionly!

Israel’s Gaza blitz, it’s genocide, let’s call it what it is,Trump works Putin, no collusion, just a deal it ain’t his rizz,Zelenskyy meets with Vance, dodging drones in Kiev’s fight,Biden’s cancer’s past dementia, laundering’s not his only plight,Norm’s last call, George Wendt leaves at seventy-six,NOLA’s cons bolt, jailbreak’s got New Orleans in a fix!

Week’s a riot, left’s in quiet, hear the polka sing,From jails to fights, we’ll torch the slights, let alphorns ring!

Hey! 86-ers under investigation for threatening the King,Ho! Mexican boat hits Brooklyn Bridge, it’s a diversity thing!No NOAA’s wild weather lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots hold strong,Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!

Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill cuts deep, that’s the game,McIver takes on ICE fistfight, Newark’s brawling dame,Tapper snitches on Dems, Biden’s decline they hid,Diddy’s in court, Cassie’s got him on the skid,Nottoway’s torched, ATF hunts arson’s spark,Harvard’s foreigners out, Trump’s ban leaves ‘em in the dark!

Week’s a spark, rips through the dark, polka’s got that flair,From brawls to bans, we’ll roast the plans, news fills the air!

Hey! Trump’s deportation piggy bank, USAID’s bled dry,Ho! ActBlue’s feeling blue, DOJ’s got ‘em shy!No Big Bird streaming lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots are long,Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!

Week’s a fire, hearts climb higher, hear the polka’s cheer,From Gaza’s pain to Dems’ disdain, no globalist veneer!With zest and pride, we’ll turn the tide, alpine polka’s sound,Dance to the beat, accordion’s heat, let truth’s sound be found!

Week’s a blaze, left’s in a haze, hear the polka’s roar,From Biden’s fall to Trump’s big call, we settle the score!With grit and might, we’ll win the fight, our spirit’s unbound,Dance to the news, accordion’s muse, let truth’s sound be found!

Hey! Dilbert shares bad news, let’s press F for that king,Ho! Eggs are cheap again, our wallets sing!Revenge porn banned, no more digital disgrace,Harrises Hollywood friends, paid to save her face!Trump puts EU in check, tariffs mate their game,Polka’s truth cuts through, no leftist spin’s the same,Drums and brass, clarinet’s fast pass, our spirits never wrong,Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!

Adjust Accordion-lee-hee-hoo!

News Headlines Covered: May 18 to May 24, 2025

* Israel’s Gaza Blitz Called Genocide (May 18 2024)Israel’s Gaza offensive is branded genocide, with X ablaze as users call out the carnage, while globalists try to spin the chaos.

* Trump’s Putin Pact Stuns Left (May 18 2024)Trump’s deal with Putin has leftists cryin’ “collusion”—X users roast the Dems’ tired script with a barrage of memes.

* Zelenskyy And Vance Meet in Kyiv (May 18 2024)Zelenskyy meets Vance in Kyiv, dodgin’ drones to plot war moves—X hypes their grit as Ukraine’s fight trends big.

* Biden’s Cancer, Dementia, Laundering Woes (May 18 2024)Biden’s health flops with cancer, dementia, and laundering rumors—X users sling the scandal like it’s the juiciest gossip in town.

* George Wendt Passes At 76 (May 18 2024)Cheers star George Wendt exits at 76—X pours one out for Norm, floodin’ feeds with tributes to a sitcom giant.

* New Orleans Jailbreak Sparks Mayhem (May 18 2024)Inmates bust loose in New Orleans, turnin’ the Big Easy into a jailbreak jamboree—X memes the madness like it’s Mardi Gras!

* 86-ers Probed For Threatening Trump (May 21 2024)86-ers get grilled for threatenin’ Trump—X rallies behind the King, mockin’ the plotters’ flop with snarky posts.

* Mexican Boat Slams Brooklyn Bridge (May 21 2024)A Mexican boat crashes into the Brooklyn Bridge—X dubs it a “diversity” disaster, with crash gifs stealin’ the show.

* NOAA’s Climate Spin Crumbles (May 21 2024)As weird storms rage across the nation, NOAA’s weather lies get canned—X users keep the polka beat strong, laughin’ off the climate baloney with snarky threads.

* Trump’s Debt-Cutting Bill (May 22 2024)Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill slashes debt, with X patriots cheerin’ the smackdown on Dems’ spendin’ spree.

* McIver’s ICE Brawl In Newark (May 22 2024)Newark’s McIver throws down with ICE in a street brawls—X crowns her a firecracker, trendin’ with fight clips.

* Tapper Rats Out Dems On Biden’s Decline (May 22 2024)CNN’s Tapper spills that Dems hid Biden’s health crash—X users serve the tea, rippin’ the cover-up with memes.

* Diddy’s Court Battle With Cassie (May 22 2024)Diddy’s trial over Cassie’s claims has X buzzin’ with baby oil jokes and showbiz drama—talk about a skid!

* Nottoway Arson Ignites ATF Chase (May 22 2024)Nottoway burns in an arson attack—X speculates as ATF hunts the firebug, sparklin’ heated threads.

* Harvard’s Foreigner Ban (May 22 2024)Harvard boots foreigners under Trump’s ban—X waves bye-bye to globalists, with ban memes floodin’ feeds.

* Trump’s Deportation Fund (May 23 2024)Trump raids USAID to fund deportations—X cheers the border blitz, with leftists whinin’ in the comments.

* ActBlue Under DOJ Investigation (May 23 2024)ActBlue’s rattled by a DOJ probe—X watches Dems squirm, with snark flyin’ faster than a polka beat.

* Big Bird’s Streaming (May 23 2024)Sesame Street’s on Netflix now—X keeps dunkin’ on Big Bird’s baloney with glee.

* Scott Adams’ Cancer Diagnosis (May 24 2024)Dilbert’s Scott Adams reveals cancer—X sends F’s and support for the comics king battlin’ tough odds.

* Egg Prices Drop (May 24 2024)Egg prices crash, makin’ wallets sing—X celebrates with omelet emojis and breakfast braggin’ rights.

* Revenge Porn Ban (May 24 2024)Congress passes a revenge porn ban crushing digital creeps—X crowns Melania a queen, with victory posts explodin’.

* Harris’ Hollywood PR Scheme (May 24 2024)Harris’ Hollywood pals get paid to prop her up—X calls out the Tinseltown con, with shade thrown left and right.

* Trump’s EU Tariffs (May 24 2024)Trump’s tariffs checkmate the EU’s trade game—X salutes the sheriff, with globalists cryin’ on the sidelines.

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Nancy Mace Anatomy

Eyes down here, boys……look at my tits…I’m a top-tier body with a butter face, a hard-nosed bitch that’s a-goin’ someplaceGot a rock-hard ego and a sailor’s mouth, you’ll know it’s me when I’m in your HouseI’m your worst nightmare, a trans-exclusionary Republican feministI’m an ice cold diva here to make a scene, but you can call me Nancy…

I stormed the gates of The Citadel, yeah, I broke the moldDaddy was the boss, opened doors, or so I’m toldFirst girl in the ranks, made those boys all lose their coolWrote a book, cashed the fame, yeah, I rewrote the rulesThey called it progress, said I paved the way for moreBut when I crashed their clubhouse, they were rattled to the corps

I fought to claim my space, no shame, I took my shotBut now I’m pointin’ fingers at the perverts on the pot

I’m a girl boss, struttin’, always flashin’ my chestBustin’ headlines poppin’ like the buttons on my breastKicked open men’s doors, slammed shut the ladies’ nestNOW… LOOK AT MY TITS! THEY’RE THE BEST OF THE BEST

Now I’m spillin’ tea ‘bout my ex, a creep with a phoneCaught him filmin’ secrets, pervs ain’t leavin’ me aloneTook it to the House floor, let the whole world seeMy drama’s like my rack—big, bold, and freeThey whisper it’s a stunt, just a grab for TV fameBut I’m the queen of Congress, and my boobs are my claim

I built my name on breakin’ through, no fear, no second guessNow I’m blockin’ men from using the ladies’ restroom in a dress

I’m a girl boss, struttin’, always flashin’ my chestMakin’ waves like water splashin’ off of my breastCrossdressers denied, the men’s room with the restNOW… LOOK AT MY TITS! THEY’RE THE BEST OF THE BEST

My boobs are my power, they’re the talk of the townDouble Ds of glory, never lettin’ me downThey’re my fun bags, my dirty pillows, my chest meat supremeStealin’ every spotlight, livin’ every gal’s dreamThey’re the jiggly jubilee, my knockers of fameMy twin peaks of triumph, puttin’ all to shameThey’re my bodacious tah-tahs, my sweater-stuffin’ rageGonna set another first as the first representative with an OnlyFans page

I’m a girl boss, struttin’, always flashin’ my chestDroppin’ jaws on the Floor, they’re always starin’ at my breastNo trannies allowed, those freaks are a messNOW… LOOK AT MY TITS! THEY’RE THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THE BEST

From Citadel to Congress, I’m the gal who breaks the moldBut trannies in the bathroom? That’s the line I’ll holdGirl boss gospel, sing it loud, I’m a media hitNancy Mace, in your face, NOW… LOOK AT MY TITS!THEY’RE THE BEST OF THE BEST…

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