Supporting Sobriety Podcast

Episode 4 | The Three Ways You Can Avoid Enabling Addiction


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Matt Bair and Ryan Hedrick share stories about enablers in their lives. Specifically, they discuss the people who helped them buy drugs and alcohol and those who perpetuated their addictive patterns. They emphasize the importance of showing unconditional love and being present for your loved ones as they battle with addiction. They also stress the significance of not advancing addiction by avoiding judging or stereotyping people who are suffering.

Matt and Ryan are joined by Philip Van Guilder, Director of Community Relationships at Greenhouse Treatment Center, who turned a personal crisis into a mission. His son's opioid overdose spurred him to become a naloxone administration trainer.

Timestamps with Discussions:

09:26 Introduction

Introduction to Philip Van Guilder, a speaker and advocate for understanding and confronting addiction.

09:57 - 11:39  Defining Enabling

Van Guilder delves into the concept of enabling, emphasizing its dual nature. He discusses the delicate balance between wanting to be a supportive parent and the challenge of facing the situation realistically.

11:50 - 13:42 Overcoming Guilt in Caregiving

Van Guilder explores the overwhelming guilt experienced by caregivers of individuals struggling with addiction. Using a scenario involving a parent and a daughter with drug problems, he advocates understanding addiction as a disease rather than a moral failing. Confrontation, he stresses, should be approached with love and empathy.

14:12 - 15:23 Challenging the Narrative of Choice

Van Guilder challenges the perception of addiction as a choice. He prompts listeners to consider their reactions if discovering a loved one's substance use and encourages viewing addiction as a disease rather than responding with anger. Threats, he asserts, cannot compel an addict to seek help.

16:11 - 19:23 Establishing Healthy Boundaries through Communication

Van Guilder highlights the importance of setting healthy boundaries through effective communication. He suggests refusing to enable destructive behavior while expressing a genuine commitment to helping the individual seek professional assistance. Understanding the addict's perspective and collaborating on a plan is crucial.

20:15 - 20:50 The Disease Takes Hostages

Van Guilder reminds listeners that addiction takes hostages, emphasizing the toll it can take on the physical and emotional well-being of those fighting to save their loved ones. Self-care is stressed as paramount to prevent being consumed by the disease.

21:30 - 23:05 Taking Care of Yourself

Drawing from personal experience, Van Guilder shares a story of taking someone to the hospital but prioritizing his sanity by dropping the person off. He underscores the importance of maintaining personal health and well-being when dealing with addiction.

24:15 - 25:50 A Father's Mission

Van Guilder shares a poignant experience of reviving his son with Narcan. He candidly reveals not informing the parents of the other individual present due to his singular focus on his son. His mission is clear - to spread awareness and understanding about addiction.

Resources: 

Social Media: Instagram / Twitter @sobriety_pod

AA Meetings: aa.intergroup.org/meetings

Virtual NA Meetings: virtual-na.org

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255 (Available 24/7)

Al-Anon Support: Al-Anon.org

Important Websites Mentioned by Phil:

WTF Winning The Fight

Love Cassidy

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Supporting Sobriety PodcastBy Matt Bair & Ryan Hedrick

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