In this warm and thought-provoking episode, Denise and Jackie dive deep into the emotional and logistical chaos of the holiday season. Reflecting on their own family traditions—past and present—they explore how expectations around gift-giving, decorating, and hosting have evolved, especially after the loss of a beloved matriarch and the realities of aging and burnout.

00:00:00 – A grounding breath and physical therapy insight

00:04:45 – Catching up post-Thanksgiving and holiday expectations

00:11:20 – Family Christmas traditions: scaling back and shifting values

00:19:30 – Generational money trauma and financial insecurity

00:27:40 – Women, labor, and holiday inequities across generations

00:36:20 – The invisible work of motherhood and holiday planning

00:44:00 – Reclaiming the holidays with boundaries and potlucks

00:50:00 – A daily ACA reflection and asking for help

Denise reflects on her financial anxiety despite being in a secure position, and the generational patterns that might be keeping that stress alive. Jackie brings in insights from their ongoing ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) work, especially around inherited financial trauma and the societal conditioning that teaches women to carry the mental load without complaint.

They touch on capitalism, the pink tax, the mental load of working mothers, and the invisible labor that makes the holidays “magical.” From packed shopping carts at Costco to fighting over tree lights, the episode is both funny and deeply resonant for anyone navigating family dynamics, societal expectations, and the holidays with their sanity intact.

Topics Covered:

The pressure and privilege of hosting family holidays

How grief, generational trauma, and family traditions intersect

Scaling back gift-giving and reimagining meaningful rituals

Financial insecurity and inherited beliefs around money

Gendered labor and the unpaid work of making holiday “magic”

ACA reflections on recreating stress for familiarity

Decentering men in conversations about equity and responsibility

The value of asking for help and building true community

The Big One podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-big-one-the-earthquake/id1645620672?i=1000579734783

ACA Serenity Prayer: https://adultchildren.org/serenity-prayer/

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