I don't take my own advice. I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

Transparent. Maybe it's easy to watch me on YouTube or listen to me on a podcast and hear me talk about ways to live our lives with chronic conditions and think I put all of my words into practice. However, I'm 100% human and struggle with all the same things you are.

Currently, I'm in the middle of a summer that I swore I wouldn't repeat. Yet, here I am. Last summer I made it to September in terrible shape. I promised to myself I do things differently this year. It starts innocuously. I schedule a few things, my wife schedules a few things, and then I think I need to stop and say my calendar is closed and only allow spontaneous plans as I feel up to them. Because now I feel like I'm at the mercy of my calendar -- like the show is running me.

I have either missed or showed up late to my telehealth therapy each of the past 4 appointments (even though I knew the appointments were happening in the morning). I was in full meltdown this morning about my upcoming calendar, I'm now in procrastination/dread cycles when friends reach out to me. [I acknowledge that I'm SO LUCKY that I still have people who want to see me after SO MANY years of illness and opting out!] But rather than getting back to them and saying, "I'm sorry, I can't." I put off returning their texts AND feel awful about it.

I'm not bringing this to you with a solution. (I suppose I need to go back and re-listen to my own episodes on boundaries!) It just felt important to be transparent with you about how I'm doing and to say, if this is something you struggle with, "me too."

At my infusion clinic, they only treat autoimmune patients. We've had numerous conversations about the auto-immune personality. With nurses who've had more than 90 years of combined experience treating autoimmune patients, the answer that keeps emerging is people-pleasing accommodators. Assuming that's true: I'm with my people. And, there's no time like the present to make changes. I need to text the friend back and say, "I'm sorry, however..."

I handle disappointment, why do I think my friends can't?! I do think that some of this stems from the fact that I'm afraid friends won't keep showing up.

**I have a new mini-course I'm finishing about how to unlock the power of your next doctor appointment*** the first 50 people get FREE enrollment. Sign up here https://www.annetteleonard.com/waitlist

This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast. I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.