This is Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, in a shockingly Michaelless episode, Craig and Spencer discuss missed towing opportunities, doppelganger cheesecake, slapping a child, name revulsion, the world's weakest horoscope, and whether or not they also serve who buy and hold war bonds. Also, in a long-needed touch of highbrow culture, please enjoy a few seconds of opera and a brief poetry reading.

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Performance of "Vesti la giubba" by Mario Lanza (pictured), from the 1959 MGM musical "For the First Time." Samples included under Fair Use doctrine.