Welcome to Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, Spencer, Craig, and special guest host and perennial friend of the show Jewell discuss industrial waste, TiVo denial, chocolate donuts, grunt interpretation, possible Russian plots, lawn lounging, and being on a last-name basis with your friends. Also, Craig the Human Calculator completely whiffs a problem of simple arithmetic.

[Episode art: a photo of two old British people staring disapprovingly at a pay-per-view invoice.]

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

Welcome to Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, Spencer and Craig discuss hot dog vehicles, yearbook scandals, '60s names, blanket etiquette, and the benefits and drawbacks of shooting your radio with a gun. Also, Craig gives us all a couple of reasons not to make your whole life about the mafia.

[Episode art: a photo of Ken Burns and his intriguing hairdo.]

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

Welcome back to Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, Michael, Spencer, and Craig discuss attempted nicknames, emu fugitives, revolver dares, wasteful cakes, dubious citrus, and orchestral manoeuvres in broad daylight. Plus, Spencer discovers that neither of his cohosts paid any attention to his glasses situation for multiple years.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

This is Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, in a shockingly Michaelless episode, Craig and Spencer discuss missed towing opportunities, doppelganger cheesecake, slapping a child, name revulsion, the world's weakest horoscope, and whether or not they also serve who buy and hold war bonds. Also, in a long-needed touch of highbrow culture, please enjoy a few seconds of opera and a brief poetry reading.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

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Performance of "Vesti la giubba" by Mario Lanza (pictured), from the 1959 MGM musical "For the First Time." Samples included under Fair Use doctrine.

Welcome back to INTO THE VOID [all caps mandatory], the single-host stream-of-consciousness alternative to the Never Better Podcast, and a show that in its own right also never gets any better. So sorry to see you're trapped here as well. This week, Spencer rattles on about prank retribution, cryptid visions, Senator Hairplugs, and the one thing above all others that, seriously, Nobody Has To Know. Also, he shares an account of his own recent brush with social danger.

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The opinions expressed on INTO THE VOID do not necessarily represent those held by any persons involved in the creation of the Never Better podcast. They might not even represent those held by Spencer if you ask him again later. Also, any references to the status, thoughts, behaviors, or actions of any figures living or dead are purely parodical and without any substance, merit, or evidence. There's no point to suing us anyway. We don't have any money.

This is Never Better, a show that never gets any better. We're all back together again! This week, in a surprisingly medically focused episode, Michael, Craig, and Spencer discuss opinionated patient charts, toe regrowth (that's now a two-week streak on the foot talk, unfortunately), diagnosable self-distrust, and questionable tuberculosis treatment. Plus, Michael gives us all the details on his experimental nostril removal surgery.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

This is Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, Spencer, not Michael, and Craig discuss giant skeletons, sloth attacks, peeping toes (sorry), and the art of vehicular ricochet. Also, Craig confesses to some truly bizarre dining behavior. Indefensible, some would say.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

This is Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, Spencer, not Michael, and Craig discuss royal oil, egg-sneaking, worrisome transmissions, hog, elephant tranquilizer, green tea, and how to ruin your marriage using only a chatbot. Plus, Spencer completely whiffs his response to a very easily understood joke.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

This is Never Better, a show that never gets any better. This week, Spencer, Michael, and Craig discuss anesthesia regrets, orangutan transportation, teacup doodles, mole dowsing, and Real Batman. Also, introduce a new segment that we may even return to one day.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!