I wanted to share this with you…

Like I assume for a lot of you, this lockdown has given me some much-needed time to reflect on what’s serving me and what isn’t.

I recently had the BIGGEST epiphany that I was using exercise and over-working to self-medicate, and push down my inner demons that were trying to come to the surface. No wonder I had been so burned out!!!

I then realised that I’ve always been self-medicating, when I was in my first job, I self-medicated through partying, my 2nd job was through co-dependency in my relationship (relying on it for my happiness), and now with my business, I’ve been self-medicating through over-working and over-exercising.

What I’ve realised is that I was actually running away from my problems, as I was absolutely terrified of sitting in the pain, as I knew it would be extremely uncomfortable.

Which is why I always made myself guilty for taking time off or for exercising, as I was scared that these dark thoughts would come to the fore, so I would distract myself.

Anyway, long story short, I had an injury in my left knee (your left side is your inner which is obviously no coincidence!) a month or two ago, which forced me to stop running or doing intense cardio. I also burned out from all this over-exercising and over-working that I couldn’t work as hard anymore.

So I couldn’t the two things that I was doing to avoid being with my thoughts, over-exercising and over-working, which of course meant that A LOT of my inner demons bubbled to the surface.

I’ve been allowing my inner demons to come to the surface over these past few weeks and it has been PAINFUL AS HELL! But now that I’ve healed my wounds and inner child, I have SO much more self-compassion and emotional resilience to get through ANYTHING the universe throws at me.

The thing that’s the most bizarre is that I have this chest tightness since I was about 19, so 6 years, when I developed anxiety at university. But since allowing my inner demons to come to the surface, and confront them gently, the chest tightness has just gone away. No word of a lie!

So trust me when I say, what’s on the other side of pain, pressure and darkness, is freedom, flow and light. I’ve genuinely never felt so at calm or at ease with my life, for the first time ever!

The reason why I’m sharing this is to say, whatever you’re going through, at the end of the darkness, there is light, even if you can’t see it right now. And of course, I’m always here, so feel free to reach out!

I also wanted to say that you don’t need to push to get what you want people, especially when it comes to your mindset! You have to let whatever wants to flow in, flow in, and sit with it. No matter how painful it is!

Guilt and pain dissipate, they’re painful as hell at first, but they will go away. The first cut is the deepest and the first hurdle is the highest. And all of the pain you’re feeling is preparing you for something greater, at least that’s what happened for me.

In fact, from my experience, the more painful it is, the bigger the breakthrough is going to be.

I’d also like to talk about resilience very briefly, as I feel that a lot of people have the wrong perception of resilience. They think it’s all about pushing, but it’s actually the opposite. It’s about allowing, and allowing is actually more painful than pushing.

Resilience is emotional self-care and self-compassion. If you practise these things, no matter what happens to you, you will always come out the other side stronger.

This alternative way is what I coach my clients on, so if you want to find out more, why not book in a FREE 1:1 1 hour coaching call with me? It’s worth £297, so amazing value!

So I’m curious… Have you ever had a spiritual awakening? Or, maybe even during l