OMG, Dawn’s dating an older boy! Luckily, he’s an insufferable douche as well as being a creep, so it doesn’t last long. Meanwhile, Mary Anne’s actually being canonically sensitive for once, and someone’s caught Kristy’s eye.

On today’s agenda: false promises of child chaos; toaster oven vindication; hazing in the NICU; the best use for fake teeth; podcaster charitability rankings; important Travis statistics; Dawn goes genre-hopping; everything is Zach’s fault; the mark of a good man; superior stalking techniques; all the cool teens love Ovid’s Metamorphoses.

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

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