In this weeks episode, I discuss “The Halo Effect” and how it can affect us in dating and relationships. So many women (and a few men I know!) fall prey to this and then later, after the end of their relationships, they ask “How did I miss all of those bad qualities”? Well, it could be explained by “The Halo Effect”; a cognitive bias that states that we take one or two good qualities in a person and we assume that this is an indicator of good character. Or we assume that because a person is well dressed or attractive, they must be a person of great integrity. More than likely, NOT!

We want to aim for being more objective and to utilize our trusted friends and family to help us to see what we can’t when we are first meeting a love interest. So many factors come into play when we are dating or in a relationship. We may have been out of the dating world for so long that when we do finally meet someone we connect with, we put on rose-colored glasses. Or we see one of the qualities that we really admire in our date and we take that to mean that they must be “the one” for us! Good relationships take time, and for good reason! Over time, we have a greater chance of seeing what that person is truly made of and what their character is. For men, a beautiful woman may mean that she is wonderful in lots of other ways. Then when they find out that they are not a good mother, or they are angry or unfaithful, they are thrown for a loop. When you take time to determine all of a persons qualities and character, you can then weigh each one separately to see if this person is the best fit for you.

For my feminine energy women, this also looks like focusing on your “don’t want” list more than looking to find what you do want! It may take some time to see qualities that you admire in a man and by then, many of us have developed “feelings” for him. A handsome man or a man who is a good father can also have some very disturbing negative traits too. Keep your eyes and ears open for any inconsistencies.