Remember how easy it used to be to make friends? What happened? How do you even start a friendship as an adult? Matthew and Adam sure don't know, so they're bringing in friendship experts Dr. Elizabeth and Master Adam! Together they learn that screaming can be useful, kids and dogs make decent conversation starters, criminals need friends too, there are only Hufflepuffs and Slytherins in the world, fear can be healthy, and sometimes kidnapping is the only option. By the end of this hour you'll be swimming in friends!

Talking Points:

• Friendship origins! (05:22)
• The kid in the blue blazer! (08:03)
• Gut punchin' buddies! (10:45)
• What kind of friend do you want? (13:39)
• "Let's get coffee!" (17:48)
• "What's your Hogwarts house?" (19:55)
• "Let's do crime!" (24:50)
• Friendship limit! (29:04)
• Just get a dog... (32:10)
• ...or a kid! (33:32)
• Stalking! (38:05)
• Screaming at work! (39:03)
• Fish's six steps to friendship! (42:50)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults! Let's be friends!