Black and White and Gold

Episode 65 - When Two Wounded Inner-Children Get Married


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Join us as we talk through how to help you work on your relationship as a separate entity. Because partnership looks a lot like two people choosing to do life together, but then our inner child runs the show when the stakes are high. How to we move through that? Let’s figure it out together.

Questions we ask toward the end of the episode. We recommend at a minimum journaling on these questions and talking with your partner about them. Consider doing this with takeout, on a date in a place you love.

What does stress look like in my body? What does stress look like in my behavior?

What do I tend to need when I’m stressed? Is it space, closeness, words, touch?

What’s my go-to move in conflict? Do I pursue? Do I withdraw? Do I Freeze? What does it feel like when I don’t feel safe with my partner?

What does it feel like when I do feel safe with my partner?

What’s one thing your partner could do or say that would help you feel safer when activated?

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The Gottman Institute

Episode with Steven Thatcher

Everything Isn’t Terrible book by Kathleen Smith

Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold, @wildravenbreathwork, @greatsexforgoodguys

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Black and White and GoldBy Carly and Rob Allred