This episode explores the concept of sacred marriage as introduced by Carl Jung, focusing on internal integration and individuation. It discusses the union of masculine and feminine energies within oneself, the symbolism across cultures, and practical insights for personal wholeness.

Because sometimes us Western peeps need eastern philosophy reframed before we can hear it or understand it. This is not new—this is ancient understanding taught from a psychological framing that is essential to further emotional growth.

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@blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys

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As humans, we both want to be in deep connection AND own ourselves. The balance can be precarious. This episode helps walk us through some ways to get there individually and then as a couple.

As discussed in the episode, this practice below can be super beneficial when you hit a rough patch to repair the intentional and unintentional damage caused through miscommunication.

Rupture-and-Repair Ritual A Guided Couple Practice:

Use this after the storm has passed — not in the middle of it. Sit facing each other, feet on the floor, phones away. Take three slow breaths together before you begin.

* The Cooldown Check-In — Each person answers:

"On a scale of 1–10, how regulated do I feel? What does my body need before I can really be here?"

If either person is below a 5, pause. Take what you need — water, a walk, five minutes alone, then come back.

* Uninterrupted Witness — (5–7 min each) One person speaks, the other listens — no sighs, no nods that are really disagreements. When the speaker finishes, the listener reflects back what they heard — not a rebuttal, just: “What I heard is….”

Then switch.

Consider the following phrases:

"During the argument, my body felt ___”

“I noticed [tight chest / shutdown / heat in my face / the urge to leave].”

“The story I told myself was ___.”

“What I actually needed was ___.”

“What I'm still carrying is ___."

* Accountability Without Collapse — Real accountability is neither over-apology nor deflection; it's clarity. Don't perform remorse you don't feel, and don't minimize to protect yourself. After both people speak, sit in silence for a moment. Let it land.

"My part in this was ___.”

”I can see how [the tone I used / the way I shut down / what I said] felt/sounded like ___ for you.”

“That wasn't what I wanted to create between us."

* The Reach — One person extends their hand — palm up and open as an offering. Not as a grab, simply extending. The other places their hand in it, or says: "I'm not quite there — give me a moment." The first hand stays open and waiting, allowing the patience to help feed the repair. Close with something that feels good to the two of you, such as a phrase, gesture, familiar touch, something.

End with each partner completing the sentence "What I want you to know right now is ___."

More information on working with Carly: wildraven.carlyallred.com

Find us on Instagram:

@blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys

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In this episode, we explore the vital concepts of differentiation and boundaries in relationships, even getting into the nitty-gritty of what healthy boundaries do and don’t look like. We discuss how maintaining a healthy sense of self, effective boundary setting, and understanding different relationship dynamics can foster healthier, more collaborative connections across all types of relationships. Because you know you want better connections.

Links to resources mentioned: wildraven.carlyallred.com

Find us on Instagram at @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys

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Let’s talk about the CNN article, Gisele Pelicot, and Man v Bear all in one two-part convo. Oh, and we’ll wrap in what the regular human person can do about any of it.Sound good? Yeah…it’s rough, but it’s necessary. If we want a different reality, we’re gonna have to be part of the solution.

Let’s go!

Our Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys

Accounts we recommend you follow:

instagram.com/professor_neil ( Professor Neil )

instagram.com/thespeechprof ( Professor Chesko )

instagram.com/pinkpillrx ( PinkpillRx )

instagram.com/evolutionarymen

instagram.com/heybrotherjohnny

instagram.com/realjonjacobs ( Jonathan Jacobs )

instagram.com/streetlighteyesdontdie ( Andrew Bailey )

instagram.com/mens.relationship.therapist ( Jeremy Mohler )

instagram.com/jimmy_on_relationships

instagram.com/marriageishappening

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Let’s talk about the CNN article, Gisele Pelicot, and Man v Bear all in one two-part convo. Oh, and we’ll wrap in what the regular human person can do about any of it. Sound good? Yeah…it’s rough, but it’s necessary. If we want a different reality, we’re gonna have to be part of the solution.

Let’s go!

Our Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys

Accounts we recommend you follow:

instagram.com/professor_neil ( Professor Neil )

instagram.com/thespeechprof ( Professor Chesko )

instagram.com/pinkpillrx ( PinkpillRx )

instagram.com/evolutionarymen

instagram.com/heybrotherjohnny

instagram.com/realjonjacobs ( Jonathan Jacobs )

instagram.com/streetlighteyesdontdie ( Andrew Bailey )

instagram.com/mens.relationship.therapist ( Jeremy Mohler )

instagram.com/jimmy_on_relationships

instagram.com/marriageishappening

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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This episode explores the deep-rooted stories and identities that influence our behavior, relationships, and self-perception. Carly and Rob discuss how loyalty to old stories can hinder growth and how to consciously shift these narratives for a more authentic life.

Key topics:

* Loyalty to old stories and identities

* Shadow work and shadow questions

* Family, religious, and cultural conditioning

* How stories influence behavior and relationships

* Steps to shift from old scripts to authentic self

Join us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold | @greatsexforgoodguys | @wildravenbreathwork

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This episode explores shadow work in relationships, focusing on how understanding and working through shadows like shame, jealousy, anger, and control can deepen intimacy and promote healthier connections. We share personal stories, practical tools, and insights on emotional regulation, vulnerability, and authentic communication. Because what fun is a relationship if we’re operating in fear or shame all the time?

Referenced in the episode are 6 Principles of Healthy Sexuality, and shared here:

* Consent: Sexual interactions should be rooted in mutual agreement and respect.

* Safety: Protecting against STIs and unwanted pregnancies.

* Non-exploitation: Engaging in sexual activities without the threat of consequences.

* Honesty: Open communication about sexual health, desires, and experiences.

* Shared values: Respecting and valuing the sexual health of all partners.

* Pleasure: Ensuring sexual experiences are satisfying and enjoyable for all parties.These principles serve as a lifelong guide to improving and maintaining sexual health, emphasizing the importance of consent, safety, and respect in all sexual interactions.

Learn more about these principles here: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/nymphomedia-blog/the-six-sexual-health-principles

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Join us on Instagram:

@blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys

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Have you met my friend Sara? She’s a gem, and has a lot of wisdom and experience to share. Find her at Sara Johnson and on Instagram.

This bonus episode was just what I needed, even though it had me sobbing for a good portion of it—both whilst recording and whilst editing.

Love you all. Thanks for being here.

Find us on Instagram:

@blackandwhiteandgold @greatsexforgoodguys @wildravenbreathwork

There are parts of our identity that we like, and some that we don’t like, and some of both are habits we’ve created that are sneakily keeping us from growth.

Let’s talk about it.

The shadow work journal Rob uses: click here

Shadow Questions asked at the end of the episode:

What are some of the unconscious contracts that you’ve been living by? And who wrote them? What were the terms? Did you ever actually agree to them, or did you just assume them?

Find some unconscious contracts in your life, whether it has to do with your life, your body, your relationships, success at work, et cetera. What have you been hoping that those would fix about you? What would that mean if it never did?

If you could make one conscious choice today, something that you choose from alignment rather than habit, what would it be?

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@blackandwhiteandgold

@wildravenbreathwork

@greatsexforgoodguys

Join us as we talk through how to help you work on your relationship as a separate entity. Because partnership looks a lot like two people choosing to do life together, but then our inner child runs the show when the stakes are high. How to we move through that? Let’s figure it out together.

Questions we ask toward the end of the episode. We recommend at a minimum journaling on these questions and talking with your partner about them. Consider doing this with takeout, on a date in a place you love.

What does stress look like in my body? What does stress look like in my behavior?

What do I tend to need when I’m stressed? Is it space, closeness, words, touch?

What’s my go-to move in conflict? Do I pursue? Do I withdraw? Do I Freeze? What does it feel like when I don’t feel safe with my partner?

What does it feel like when I do feel safe with my partner?

What’s one thing your partner could do or say that would help you feel safer when activated?

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The Gottman Institute

Episode with Steven Thatcher

Everything Isn’t Terrible book by Kathleen Smith

Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold, @wildravenbreathwork, @greatsexforgoodguys

Learn more about EMERGE group-coaching + retreat with Carly