We love your guts. We’re so grateful for you. Enjoy the weekend the best you’re able to, and we will be back with another convo next week.

Book Club Deets:

We will be meeting Wednesday, December 4, at 7pm through the link here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIlceCtpz0rEtELzgKGvJ-qLDL87fhlsXUh#/registration

We'll be reading I Think You're Wrong, (But I'm Listening) (this is an affiliate link) by Beth Silvers and Sarah Stewart-Holland, and we're excited to create this FREE opportunity to engage with others discuss important topics and skills that can help us be better friends family and citizens.

This book club will be Zoom style, so anybody, anywhere in the world can participate. We'll see you soon.

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Ahhhh…The Holidays, right? It's a beautiful time for gathering as family and friends to celebrate [fill in the blank] day. However, "holidays" are seen through different lenses by each of us. Some holidays may be difficult to process or get-though because of past experiences, perceived missed opportunities, strained relationships, or complicated history.

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In today's episode, we meander a bit through reasons why holidays may be difficult for people, how we can hold space for those who struggle, and discuss tips on how to care for yourself so you can have the best experience possible, but not without having a discussion on Festivus. Though holidays can provide opportunities to gather with loved ones and enjoy special traditions, they don’t always pan out that way…so we hope you find value in today's discussion.

What is your favorite holiday tradition? We can't wait to hear from you in the comment section—with your knowledge of Anna Howard Shaw. 😘

Link to Calm article we discussed: https://www.calm.com/blog/holiday-stress#:~:text=Holiday%20stress%20can%20take%20its,to%20a%20party%20or%20two.

Book Club December 4, 2024 via Zoom. Register here, and find all the fun details here.

Nothing like a volatile political season to bring out the best in everyone…areweright?

As social media feels like a literal dumpster fire mixed with the worst in humanity sometimes, we are pulling at the threads of being wrong…and how it feels exactly like being right.

We’re pretty sure we’re right about it too.

Are you?

Show notes:

Join us for BOOK CLUB! Register here for our conversation about I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) by Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers. We will meet via Zoom on Wednesday, November 20, 2025 at 7pm Pacific. Please join us!

Video of the man running away:

https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong/transcript?

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The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives has created quiiiiite a stir…mostly among people who are somehow affiliated with the church in their lives.

But the opinions? Oof. They’re ALLLL over the place. We chat a bit about that, and then start a discussion with each other about some of the questions being brought up that weren’t directly stated.

We would love to hear your thoughts on it, and any of the other commentary that you want to share in our chat thread. Find that here:

Links to some of the things we discuss here:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/09/19/mormon-women-speak-out-secret-lives-mormon-wives/75192755007/

https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/hulus-secret-lives-of-mormon-wives-is-a-horrific-tv-abomination

https://universe.byu.edu/2020/06/30/caffeine-opinions-vary-greatly-in-lds-culture/#:~:text=While%20Uchtdorf%20didn't%20name%20the%20soda%20directly%2C,inferred%20that%20it%20was%20a%20caffeinated%20drink 

https://www.google.com/search?q=new+fsoy+pamphlet+lds&oq=new+fsoy+pamphlet+lds&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIJCAEQIRgKGKABMgkIAhAhGAoYoAEyCQgDECEYChigATIJCAQQIRgKGKABMgkIBRAhGAoYoAEyBwgGECEYqwLSAQg5MjI5ajBqN6gCALACAA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

https://www.google.com/search?q=the+good+samaritan+priest+and&oq=the+good+samaritan+priest+and+&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIICAEQABgWGB4yCAgCEAAYFhgeMg0IAxAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBBAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBRAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBhAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBxAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMgoICBAAGIAEGKIEMgoICRAAGIAEGKIE0gEINTc0NGowajeoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2008/12/the-energy-drink-epidemic?lang=eng

Join us for our Book Club where we discuss I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) by Beth Silvers and Sarah Stewart Holland. Purchase the book here,

Thanks for reading Black and White and Gold! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Register to join the conversation about PART TWO here (November 20 at 7pm Pacific). After registration, you’ll receive a link to join the Zoom meeting in your email. Can’t wait to see you!

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Is there anything scarier that talking about politics? For some, definitely not…so since it’s our last episode before Election Day AND Halloween, it seemed like a fitting thing to jump in to.

But we’re gonna do it in a surprisingly neutral way. We will NOT tell you how to vote, but if you need a bit of encouragement on where to go to get helpful information, we’ve gotchu.

And regardless of your affiliation, you’re welcome here. You just have to be willing to hold space for other views—that’s non-negotiable.

Love your buns.

But also, get your butt out and vote.

Thanks for reading Black and White and Gold! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Links we referenced:

https://gop.com/about-our-party/

https://prod-static.gop.com/media/RNC2024-Platform.pdf?_gl=1*21raw6*_gcl_au*MTc4MjMxMDgxMy4xNzMwMDgwMDY1&_ga=2.245249927.365673058.1730080066-1186767565.1730080066

https://downloads.frcaction.org/EF/EF18H05.pdf

https://democrats.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/FINAL-MASTER-PLATFORM.pdf

https://www.isidewith.com/political-quiz

https://www.opencampaign.com/quiz

https://www.theadvocates.org/quiz/

https://www.isidewith.com/elections/2024-presidential-quiz

https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/quiz/political-typology/

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Kelly is BACK! This time, we have an open conversation about pregnancy loss, pregnancy, parenting, and re-parenting ourselves.

Trigger warning: We love you and want the best for you! Please only listen if you are in a position to listen to this topic (pregnancy and child loss) from a safe space.

BOOK CLUB! Join us for our book club whilst we read I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) by Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers.

Join us for Part 2 on November 20 at 7pm Pacific. Register (for FREE) here.

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Part 3 of our relationship series ends with us saying a bunch of big words, but words that changed the game for us. If things like “differentiation,” “enmeshment,” and “co-create” are new-ish to you, hopefully there’s something good in this listen for you to take to your own relationships.

Join the chat, and let’s talk about what we’re learning together!

Join us for our Book Club where we discuss I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) by Beth Silvers and Sarah Stewart Holland. Purchase the book here,

Thanks for reading Black and White and Gold! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Register to join us the conversation about PART ONE here and the conversation about PART TWO here. After registration, you’ll receive a link to join the Zoom meeting(s) in your email. We will meet twice, once on October 23 and 7pm Pacific to discuss part one, and once on November 20 at 7pm Pacific to discuss part 2.

Some links to a few of the articles, etc. we discuss in the episode:

https://www.crucible4points.com/crucible-four-points-balance/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enmeshment

https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment.html

https://psychcentral.com/relationships/why-you-need-a-strong-sense-of-self-and-how-to-boost-it

https://www.thebowencenter.org/differentiation-of-self

There’s a lot of discussion about relationships and vulnerability, but it seems that men have a bit of a bad rap in this particular arena. But what does culture AND the women in their lives have to do with it? Let’s chat about whether or not we want men to even BE vulnerable, and if so, how do we encourage it?

Join us for our Book Club where we discuss I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) by Beth Silvers and Sarah Stewart Holland. Purchase the book here,

Thanks for reading Black and White and Gold! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Register to join us the conversation about PART ONE here and the conversation about PART TWO here. After registration, you’ll receive a link to join the Zoom meeting(s) in your email. We will meet twice, once on October 23 and 7pm Pacific to discuss part one, and once on November 20 at 7pm Pacific to discuss part 2.

SHOW NOTES:

Brene Brown’s TEDx talk about shame:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/emasculation

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/violence-against-women_b_1959746

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/comments/18slkug/thoughts_on_the_word_emasculate/

https://onbeing.org/blog/jonathan-p-higgins-what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/nov/13/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man-reader-responses#:~:text=I%20can%20cook%2C%20clean%2C%20buy,more%20open%20and%20fulfilling%20fashion 

https://www.themix.org.uk/your-body/mens-health/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man-in-2018-29605.html#:~:text=It%20means%20not%20being%20afraid,and%20uplifting%20those%20around%20you.%E2%80%9D

https://www.utdailybeacon.com/opinion/columns/making-of-man-what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man/article_1a9f5836-2068-11ec-abd1-f3615d73f13d.html

https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/byusq/vol45/iss3/1/#:~:text=Most%20Mormons%20have%20heard%20of,from%20the%20effects%20of%20exposure 

https://brycox.com/lds/BryCox-SweetwaterRescue.pdf 

https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3783&context=byusq 

Why is it that when men are good friends, we have to make it weird? It becomes a “bromance” instead of a friendship. Statistically speaking, the vast majority of men don’t have friends they rely on for emotional support, and we’re gonna chat about it.

Links to some of the ideas we referenced:

https://www.google.com/search?q=statistics+on+male+friend+relationships&sca_esv=7bed0de0dada41c5&ei=YdDUZqupIICgkPIPjefnsAM&oq=statistics+on+male+frelationships&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiIXN0YXRpc3RpY3Mgb24gbWFsZSBmcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwcyoCCAEyChAhGKABGMMEGAoyChAhGKABGMMEGApI0SBQuQ1YuQ1wAXgBkAEAmAHBAaABwQGqAQMwLjG4AQHIAQD4AQGYAgKgAssBwgIKEAAYsAMY1gQYR5gDAIgGAZAGB5IHAzEuMaAHigQ&sclient=gws-wiz-serp

https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/29/health/men-friendships-wellness/index.html#:~:text=Characterizing%20the%20gender%20of%20these,children%20grow%20up%20to%20struggle.%E2%80%9D

https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/newsletter/2023-10-10/more-than-1-in-7-men-have-no-close-friends-the-way-we-socialize-boys-is-to-blame-group-therapy#:~:text=Thirty%20years%20ago%2C%20a%20majority,a%20fivefold%20increase%20since%201990 

https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/

https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/ask-an-academic-the-secrets-of-boys

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8144131-when-you-judge-yourself-for-needing-help-you-judge-those

Don’t forget we’re holding a book club! Purchase the book here (amazon affiliate link) or snag it from your local library. We’ll hold our first discussion October 23, details to come soon. REGISTER HERE.

We’d love to have you chat with us on the topics we discuss. Join us here for more conversation:

If you’d like to receive news and posts directly to your email, subscribe here. MUCH more to come!

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At the end of National Suicide Prevention Month, we felt it important to talk about this really hard topic with someone who is doing what she can to alchemize her grief.

Lacey is the founder of Play to Stay that raises money to support the mental health and raise funds to help prevent suicides in the community. In this conversation, we get real about this topic and discuss it from many angles.

Play to Stay website

Article about the first Play to Stay tournament: https://www.heraldextra.com/sanpete-county/2021/oct/27/play-to-stay-softball-tournament-aims-to-increase-suicide-awareness/

Emergency resources: 911 

Crisis services:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Veterans, press 1 when calling. Crisis Text Line Text TALK to 741-741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free, 24/7 Veterans Crisis Line Send a text to 838255 Vets4Warriors

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline (Substance Abuse) 1-800-662-HELP (4357) https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/suicide

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474

The Trevor Project 1-866-488-7386 www.thetrevorproject.org

NAMI- National Alliance for Mental Illness 800-950-6264 or text ‘helpline” to 62640

Suicide Prevention Awareness Center (SPAC): https://sprc.org/

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): https://afsp.org/

The Jason Foundation: https://jasonfoundation.com/