This month on The Derailment Chronicles: haunted chaos reigns supreme. Our girl Annabelle goes rogue, the “Devil Made Me Do It” case gets unruly, and the Hope Diamond racks up a body count. We’re also trekking into the spooky Appalachian Mountains — and if you heard a knock, just pretend you didn’t. Plus, I’m airing my VO₂ max frustrations, fangirling hard over Miley Cyrus, and confessing my undying love for potatoes.

Stay cursed, stay carbed up, and stay chaotic out there.