In this marriage podcast, part two, Mark and John distinguish ultimate needs, met vertically through our personal relationship with God, from relational needs, met horizontally through the marriage relationship. The Exchanged Life profoundly transforms marriage because it redefines the source, purpose, and power of love within the relationship. Instead of two people trying to meet each other's needs in their own strength, it becomes Christ in you and Christ in your spouse-two lives united under His life. When Christ as Life is the foundation of marriage, this means you no longer depend on your spouse for identity, validation, or security. You already have that in Christ. This removes pressure and fear, allowing both partners to love from fullness rather than emptiness.

Dr. John identifies ultimate needs as love, acceptance, significance, security, belonging, and worth. The relational needs of the wife are affection, conversation, honesty, openness, financial support, and family commitment. For men, relational needs include sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and admiration. A husband will be happier if his wife shows her love in these ways. And the wife would be happier if the husband loves her in these ways.

Links

Show Notes: https://gfischool.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/needs-in-marriage-jbw.pdf

GFI Donations: https://gracefellowshipinternational.com/about-gfi/donate/

GFI 1/2 Day Seminar INFO: https://gracefellowshipinternational.com/event/introduction-to-exchanged-life-counseling-2/

GFI Exchanged Life Workshop Info: https://gracefellowshipinternational.com/event/exchanged-life-counseling-workshop-10/

Books and Curriculum

His Needs Her Needs by Dr. Harley: https://www.amazon.com/His-Needs-Her-Making-Romantic/dp/0800740998/ref=sr_1_1?crid=18YILTUU2LXL6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.yX3z_M_l8-F_QJJSfCm16Q31n4mCjNjUWk9zZH3T4mhvTVSS90k2AaeSuITHxfxVAZU2wuhTUAL35kcUXDM2nxRDUJ8zUZhlL5bdIUJBgdOxN4TVTIfrIY7lVUulLv95SwuO7093MOx--OEtY8eZ4Lu4GvJWTzPNsynvumgeotRAt0v1RTSn9GzKV0GkBI6d9A9D5IFWdARtPvcyeuisASdTVSbg-azDNceVgG_3iXM.F0FnndyQf4Vivq1eFMPnzmRyOiAxmtW_6EbBqdjOA-c&dib_tag=se&keywords=his+needs+her+needs+book&qid=1760559144&sprefix=his+nee%2Caps%2C161&sr=8-1

Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb: https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Builder-Creating-Oneness-Transform/dp/0310336872/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1ATLOIKDLYJ9B&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.dCxvCEOWnjgTducQxNQ4urYkHKjqAuDYl57-tpqZEe4PmGvIkU3tW5PiJ7xFaPYa9W9Yh0FHKYezX4yaQ9ss0MJZ_Cvo-yB94qKsMF7q0ZQaJJEvjG-Zw9UgLJjwoJxh.g73oE8JYLeetQlV8tGwKtnnv1Qaiw8EF0Zy9IKmZ4NM&dib_tag=se&keywords=marriage+builder+larry+crabb&qid=1760559186&sprefix=marriage+builder%2Caps%2C195&sr=8-1

Men are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel: https://www.amazon.com/Men-Like-Waffles-Women-Spaghetti-Understanding/dp/0736968881/ref=sr_1_1?crid=B8KQON0YO57T&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.cgibAoVg2eyeupSebyewix8QNTR1aZ-bn-C5zY46X9bJfJXL0jpC7UwVgk4gce6uCTZuq0jPVTxp7xxxfoTuCIYfIiSFYzwvZG3EOcbzsed1wArLUTLSYAQB8QVtL8Tx5rOtzah_IuVlKPne3zDPkpwP0TCGC3y0BynlFonMSL6uDFaZaDo7AUljKa7kXTGTKBepK6sl0a2MuYWCy0Bcp5BAXd7R8_COBhoSHAVDfd4.cz3oO_2s-mFBkK4hcLMc9mneF7vPhGVcuy43XgCqKeI&dib_tag=se&keywords=men+are+like+waffles+women+are+like+spaghetti&qid=1760559241&sprefix=men+are+%2Caps%2C200&sr=8-1

Build Your House on the Rock by Dave Simmons: https://www.gracestudyhall.org/courses/build-your-house-on-the-rock

The Life Seminar by Bill and Anabell Gillham: www.lifetime.org/video