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Episode 72: Permission to be Lost
Why “Escape” Stops Working (and What Your Pain Might Still Be Teaching You)
Brandon Thielk and co-host/producer Holly Deschenes return to Permission to Evolve after a week off to explore “permission to be lost” and “permission to stop pretending,” describing the uncomfortable gap that appears when you outgrow old habits, identities, and social expectations but don’t yet know what’s next. Holly shares that their annual Boulder, Colorado trip felt less like an escape, especially after her husband’s bike accident and broken collarbone, and Brandon connects this to nervous-system stability and building a life you don’t need to escape from. They discuss somatic work and recurring pain, emphasizing acceptance, refining beliefs about aging, and continuing to learn from discomfort. Brandon explains how getting lost helps shed a false self, reduce overthinking and validation-seeking, tolerate being misunderstood, and rebuild relationships with clearer boundaries, ultimately supporting more authentic, intentional living.
00:00 Welcome Back Hosts
00:17 Permission To Be Lost
01:02 Colorado Trip Recap
03:15 Life Without Escapes
05:18 Desires And Alignment
06:47 Somatic Pain Question
07:38 Pain Aging Acceptance
11:55 Getting Lost To Find Self
16:04 Stripping Ego In Gap
18:13 Being Misunderstood
20:09 Not Needing Validation
21:10 Self Focus Not Narcissism
23:54 Realign to Serve
24:56 Boundaries and Capacity
26:57 Stop Pretending
28:30 Shame and Vulnerability
31:08 Mentors and Maturity
33:17 Ego and Reality Distortion
36:57 Catalyst to Get Lost
39:19 Authenticity Self Correction
41:55 Recalibrate Relationships
43:22 Key Takeaways
46:24 Where to Find Brandon
47:41 Closing Goodbye
🔗 LINKS:
Free Strategy Session: https://brandonthielk.com/
Newsletter Signup: https://brandonthielk.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandonthielk/
TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@bthielk
https://substack.com/@brandonthielk1
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/permission-to-evolve/id1792609620
https://open.spotify.com/show/6HMWcqqroohupXCbf3CxOn
https://www.instagram.com/permissiontoevolvepodcast/
View all episodes
By Brandon Thielk and Holly DeschenesWhy “Escape” Stops Working (and What Your Pain Might Still Be Teaching You)
Brandon Thielk and co-host/producer Holly Deschenes return to Permission to Evolve after a week off to explore “permission to be lost” and “permission to stop pretending,” describing the uncomfortable gap that appears when you outgrow old habits, identities, and social expectations but don’t yet know what’s next. Holly shares that their annual Boulder, Colorado trip felt less like an escape, especially after her husband’s bike accident and broken collarbone, and Brandon connects this to nervous-system stability and building a life you don’t need to escape from. They discuss somatic work and recurring pain, emphasizing acceptance, refining beliefs about aging, and continuing to learn from discomfort. Brandon explains how getting lost helps shed a false self, reduce overthinking and validation-seeking, tolerate being misunderstood, and rebuild relationships with clearer boundaries, ultimately supporting more authentic, intentional living.
00:00 Welcome Back Hosts
00:17 Permission To Be Lost
01:02 Colorado Trip Recap
03:15 Life Without Escapes
05:18 Desires And Alignment
06:47 Somatic Pain Question
07:38 Pain Aging Acceptance
11:55 Getting Lost To Find Self
16:04 Stripping Ego In Gap
18:13 Being Misunderstood
20:09 Not Needing Validation
21:10 Self Focus Not Narcissism
23:54 Realign to Serve
24:56 Boundaries and Capacity
26:57 Stop Pretending
28:30 Shame and Vulnerability
31:08 Mentors and Maturity
33:17 Ego and Reality Distortion
36:57 Catalyst to Get Lost
39:19 Authenticity Self Correction
41:55 Recalibrate Relationships
43:22 Key Takeaways
46:24 Where to Find Brandon
47:41 Closing Goodbye
🔗 LINKS:
Free Strategy Session: https://brandonthielk.com/
Newsletter Signup: https://brandonthielk.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandonthielk/
TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@bthielk
https://substack.com/@brandonthielk1
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/permission-to-evolve/id1792609620
https://open.spotify.com/show/6HMWcqqroohupXCbf3CxOn
https://www.instagram.com/permissiontoevolvepodcast/