This week, it’s Rico Suave vs Geeko Suave as two of the bracket’s most soft-spoken killers throw down in the ultimate gentleman’s bar fight. One of them breaks bones with roundhouse kicks and ripped-out throats. The other clears rooms with suppressed pistols and spreadsheet precision. It’s Dalton (Road House) vs Christian Wolff (The Accountant)—and yes, one of the stars of Parks & Rec makes a genuinely amazing contribution to the conversation.

We also dig into bar fight etiquette, the quiet tough guy trope, and whether philosophy or autism gives you a greater edge in hand-to-hand combat or picking up ladies. Spoiler: things get weird.