In this episode of The Well-Tended Life podcast, I sit down with author, nervous system educator, and former corporate attorney Lori Montry to talk about the patterns so many women carry—and why they may not be flaws at all, but adaptations created to help us survive.

Lori shares her deeply personal story of childhood trauma, disordered eating, perfectionism, and years spent trying to “fix” herself through achievement and control. From graduating at the top of her class and attending Harvard Law School to eventually walking away from corporate law, Lori explains how nervous system healing changed the way she understood herself—and ultimately changed her life.

Together, we talk about survival mode, emotional eating, people pleasing, overwhelm, and the ways women disconnect from their bodies without even realizing it. Lori gently unpacks the difference between the adapted self and the expansive self, and why healing begins not with shame, but with safety and self-understanding.

We also explore practical ways to reconnect with yourself through nervous system check-ins, embodiment practices, and learning to ask the simple but powerful question: What do I need right now?

This conversation is honest, compassionate, and full of hope for anyone who has ever felt exhausted from trying harder and still not feeling okay.

💛 Here are a few heart taps from this episode:

1️⃣ You are not the problem—you adapted to survive.

2️⃣ Many coping behaviors are actually intelligent nervous system responses.

3️⃣ Healing doesn’t begin with fixing yourself. It begins with feeling safe.

4️⃣ Your body has been trying to protect you all along.

5️⃣ Awareness changes everything—especially when it’s rooted in compassion instead of shame.

6️⃣ Nervous systems thrive on gentle, consistent check-ins and care.

7️⃣ The goal isn’t perfection. It’s learning how to support yourself differently.

If you’ve been stuck in survival mode, overwhelmed by your own patterns, or wondering why “trying harder” never seems to work, this episode will remind you that healing is possible—and that you are already worthy.

Connect with Lori Montrey:

Website: lorimontrey.com

Book: You’re Not the Problem

Instagram: @lorimontrey

Lori Montrey is a nervous system educator, speaker, and the creator of the Nervous System Freedom Formula. After leaving a successful career in corporate law, Lori devoted her life to helping women understand the survival patterns driving their behaviors so they can heal from the inside out. Through her work, she combines neuroscience, trauma-informed practices, embodiment, and compassionate self-awareness to help women move from survival mode into a more expansive, regulated life.

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