#9: Avoidance

During my healing process there were certain parts of my past I wanted to avoid. Especially my memories. I would get overwhelmed and wake up with flashbacks or partial memories, knowing they wanted to emerge.

Even with the help of a therapist who specialized in sexual abuse and a support group, I would find myself fearful of my memories coming forth. As I started to get further into healing, although I did not like the memories coming or the way they came, I wasn't as afraid of them.

My memories did not just all of a sudden appear in my mind. No, they came at night and I would wake up shaken and afraid. I started to understand that I had stuffed them for so long, they leaked out when I least expected it, when I was asleep.

I called them night terrors. But I was able to learn how to handle it when they did come. I stopped stuffing them down and started to accept that I needed to see what I saw as a child. As an adult, I knew I needed to feel that I could nurture that younger version of myself.

So I continued to do the work. I continued to learn coping strategies. And as I continued, I found myself no longer in denial or suppressing or avoiding my memories. Then they just stopped.

I don't know if this happens to everyone, but I saw what I needed to and went on to heal from my past.

Is this something you struggle with?

In this episode I educate you and talk about strategies you can use to help master your avoidance!

Today, you'll hear about:

- [2:13] What avoidance is and if you continue to use them as an adult, without replacing them with new, healthy coping strategies, they can negatively affect your healing and growth.

- [2:37] Examples of avoidance include avoiding places associated with the abuse, substance abuse, the avoidance of triggers, … and suppression of memories …

- [12:49] Why do survivors employ these avoidance strategies? Too put it directly - it's to avoid re-traumatization.

- [18:55] How avoidance affects you.

- [23:43] How to overcome avoidance include many ways…

Listen in and learn about what avoidance is and examples you may use in your life. Learn why people use avoidance tendencies and how they 'really' affect you, and how to overcome them. Yes, you do not have to avoid your past and live suspended in the past. I share many different strategies to replace them.

Click here to listen!

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Links mentioned in this episode:

https://healfromabuse.com/ultimateguide

Healfromabuse.com/membership/join