It’s Halloween, and we’re celebrating the only way we know how: by recapping the first BSC Super Mystery, Babysitters’ Haunted House! It turns out haunted mansions in Maine aren’t nearly as scary as half-assed plotting, obnoxious characterisation, and a ghostwriter who didn’t do the background reading, like, at all. Where’s Cthulhu when you need him?

 

Today’s agenda includes: the best job in publishing; Mallory and Jessi fail at admin; SHUT UP MARY ANNE; HP Lovecraft’s greatest fear; not one but two gratuitous parades; Gothic Bingo; Esther gets very worked up about the value of labour; the most pretentious teen boy in all of fiction; Ireland’s proud tradition of smooch middlemen; yet more pint-sized misogynists; Karen Brewer is the world’s worst hype man but the best thing about this book; the curious case of the disappearing plot point; how to grow a foot taller in a year; deeply uncomfortable genre mashups; cursed mannequins; how babies are actually made; low-brow giggles at unfortunate business names; high-brow movie references that no tween will get; we brainstorm some merch ideas; the Ned Stark school of genetic analysis; a frankly suspicious amount of tofu research.

 

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley on the Free Music Archive.

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