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Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteur

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Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteur is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Most of us can resonate with the concept of the inner critic that spews verbal abuse when we think we are less than perfect, or the inner saboteur that drives us towards damaging and self-sabotaging behaviors. Despite their unhelpful presence, these aspects of ourselves are trying to tell us something about our unmet needs. In this episode we explain the difference between the inner critic and inner saboteur and give advice on how to identify what’s underneath the negative chatter and undesirable behaviors to meet your needs.This episode may seem a little more advanced than some of our other episodes, we are currently developing the Self Study version of the program which will provide more information on the Universal Needs and how to meet them.

In this episode, we cover…

  • How there is a needs-based distinction between the inner critic and the inner saboteur
  • Claire shares the techniques to get rid of her inner critic that didn’t work
  • How the inner critic is the negative self-talk inside our heads that tells us that we’re not good enough or that there’s something wrong with us
  • How the inner critic can start a downward spiral of guilt and shame
  • How the purpose behind our inner critic is to try and get our needs met, but it’s doing so in a very unsupportive way
  • How most of us have a hidden belief that if we are perfect, our needs will get met
  • How the inner critic (through various types of conditioning within our culture) stems from the belief that negative stimulation will make us feel bad enough to get us to do something about it to be good enough so that our needs will be met
  • How this ends up compromising our needs and our self-worth even more
  • How the inner critic compromises our value need and how that makes us less inclined to do anything about the situation we want to change
  • How to have a conversation with your inner critic by taking charge of the conversation
  • How the inner critic quiets down when it knows it's going to be heard and that we are going to take care of our needs
  • How the inner critic is a part of us and why it’s important to listen to what it’s trying to tell us
  • How the inner saboteur is different from the inner critic
  • How the inner saboteur tries to meet a need by sacrificing other needs
  • How the inner saboteur focuses on the lower part of the tree by meeting needs in and unsupportive way and disregards all the needs above that
  • How the inner saboteur may be related to experiences where our needs in the lower part of the tree were compromised
  • How the inner saboteur may feel like the inner critic
  • How to approach the conversation with the inner saboteur to stop the self-sabotaging behaviors
  • How if the inner saboteur and/or critic are present they will not go away until the need they are trying to meet is met
  • Why it’s important to be gentle with yourself if the inner saboteur and/or critic start appears from time to time
  • How sometimes the inner saboteur and/or critic goes quiet because there is something going on in our lives that is either masking or meeting our needs
  • How understanding what our inner critic is trying to tell us about our unmet needs meets our acknowledgement need
  • Why it’s important to meet needs for ourselves and not be depend on others to meet them for you

    • Episode references:

    Guilt and shame series: Episode 43 - The difference between guilt and shame; Episode 44 - That's not guilt, it's shame in disguise; Episode 45 - That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanity

    Trauma series: Episode 86 - What is trauma?; Episode 87 - How do you identify trauma; Episode 88 - How to heal trauma and triggers

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