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Episode 93 - How to give advice when someone else is struggling

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Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 93 - How to give advice when someone else is struggling is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

When someone we know is going through a hard time, some of us tend to jump in with advice. This may not only be unsupportive but can also compromise the other person’s needs. In this episode we explain why it is better to hold back from giving advice, how best to support someone who is struggling and how to respond when someone does ask for advice.

In this episode, we cover…

  • How some people tend to give unsolicited advice when someone shares something, especially online
  • Why it might be better to steer away from giving advice when someone is struggling because what might meet your needs in that situation, might not meet theirs 
  • How advice can compromise the other person’s needs further
  • How some of us tend to offer advice because we are uncomfortable with the other person’s discomfort 
  • Why we still need to be mindful of how to respond, even when someone asks for advice
  • How the experience of being witnessed is missing from our society and how it may be more supportive and helpful than advice
  • Why we need to consider if giving advice is in the other person’s or our best interest as it may hold consequences
  • How phrases like “I hear you”, “I see you”, “I feel you”, helps the other person feel witnessed and acknowledged
  • How sometimes people act as “rescuers” to feel good about themselves and how this can create a toxic dependency
  • Why asking the right questions is a better way of approaching the situation and how it’s about helping them to figure out what is right for them
  • How suggesting all the options you can picture (even “negative” ones) may help someone come to the conclusion that’s right for them
  • How it may be appropriate to direct the person to a professional through questions
  • Why looking into different professionals is important to find the right person who can support us best
  • How sharing resources without pressure can be helpful and why it’s important to be specific as not to overwhelm the person receiving them
  • How the more specific you are about what you’re looking for, the easier it will be to find it
  • The importance of not letting our own preferences, issues and unmet needs get in the way of supporting others effectively
  • How when receiving advice, it’s important to be aware that other people’s issues and unmet needs can come through
  • The relationship between taking responsibility for our needs and our personal power and how it relates to giving advice
  • How doing our own inner work helps us become more comfortable with other people going through their own process
  • Why being resourced is important when supporting someone

    • Episode references:

    Episode 2 - The wisdom of Joey Tribbiani (An introduction to being Selfirst)

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    Well Sh*t. It really is that simple...By The Universal Needs
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