We’ve just come back from the most ridiculous, five-star family villa in the Algarve, paid for by the sister who then couldn’t come and we are not handling real life well. There’s poolside shade wars (one of us is a lizard, one’s a vampire), a supermarket bill that caused cardiac arrest, an accidentally filthy holiday read in public, and a gentle spiral about ageing, narcissists and why we’re considering mouth tape.

We’re oversharing, slightly unhinged, and trying to regulate ourselves by humming.

Come join us. It’s not our first rodeo but it might be our messiest.