Jeff has no patience with people being kidnapped. Also: Sometimes, Brian guesses what happened to the missing kids he sees on the gas pump videos | “The Midnight Special” | weathermen for local radio | Brian got a Costco membership | deep fried Uncrustables | Brian is unemployed, so of course that makes him a chauffeur | if you had the money, wouldn’t you have an island? | Brian’s not in the Epstein files | Jeff’s shaving routine | a man used a blowtorch to thaw out pipes, and his house exploded | some guy dropped a 40 second gasser | a man was arrested for having sex with a vacuum cleaner | a French hospital had to be evacuated because a young guy had a mammoth World War 1 artillery shell in his ass | Jeff is a game day guy with a cape | Brian hates Looney Tunes sex | and finally, an Olive Garden employee kills himself in the worst way.