Equal Parts

It's not easy talking to kids about subjects that make adults feel uncomfortable – or that adults might not fully understand themselves. But when it comes to race and racism in America, it's imperative that we start listening, learning, and having these conversations with our kids and with each other. Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum is president emerita of Spelman College, an award-winning clinical psychologist, a national authority on racial issues in America, and author of the best-selling book, Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? And Other Conversations about Race. In this special episode, Dr. Tatum joins Care.com CEO Tim Allen for a discussion about Talking to Kids About Race and Racism. She offers guidance on how to have important – often difficult – conversations with kids of all ages about race and racism that are empathetic, constructive, and compassionate.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-The harm we create when we ‘shhh’ our kids’ questions about racial difference

-How to teach kids how to be actively anti-racist, and ways to discuss racial injustice with children as young as two or three

-Why you should feel empowered to ask teachers and caregivers questions about how they’re communicating fairness and difference

-The importance of teaching our kids – and ourselves – how to live in a multicultural, multiracial environment

-How to answer honestly when kids ask questions about police brutality and protests

-Dr. Tatum’s “3 F Strategy' (felt, found, feel) to interact with adults who don’t share your views

-The negative effects of using racial microaggressions

-Resources to initiate age-appropriate discussions about race with kids, including Social Justice Books and Common Sense Media

For more information, visit www.beverlydanieltatum.com, or follow Dr. Tatum on Twitter @BDTSpelman

Most of us would rather have "the sex talk" with our kids than talk to our own parents about their finances. Talking about money can feel awkward, prying, and uncomfortable. But “the money talk” is a conversation every adult needs to have with their parents. And the sooner the better, says Cameron Huddleston. She’s an award-winning journalist with nearly two decades of experience writing about personal finance and author of the book, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances. Cameron joins us to share advice on how to get the conversation started with your parents, even if they – and your siblings – are reluctant to talk about it. She shares the documents and information you’ll need in order to plan for a future that will keep the headaches and heartaches of estate planning to a minimum.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-The legal documents that your parents should have in place, including wills, power of attorney, and advance health care directives

-Why you need to discuss finances and estate planning early, when your parents are of sound body and mind

-How COVID-19 has changed the way we approach this conversation with our parents

-Essential information you parents should write down for you – like social security and driver’s license numbers, bank and retirement account information, and more

-How to involve siblings and step-siblings in having these conversations, especially if one is being difficult or stubborn

-How to talk to your kids about money so that they grow up feeling comfortable having “the money talk” with you someday

For more information, visit www.cameronhuddleston.com.

Gen X has been dubbed “America’s neglected middle child,” stuck between Baby Boomers and Millennials. But it’s Gen X women who face particular pressures and burdens that are contributing to their own (often overlooked) midlife crisis. They’re caring for young children and aging parents – all while running the household and working full-time. Ada Calhoun, author of the New York Times best-seller, Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis, says all this has left Gen X women feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, and exhausted. She shares research from her book and what she learned from more than 200 middle-aged women. Ada explains why this generation of women were raised to believe in the fantasy that they could “have it all,” the consequences of unrealistic expectations, and ways Gen X women can find relief and, finally, get a good night’s sleep.

Listen to this episode to learn:

●Lessons and stories from Gen X women from around the country

●The impact that quarantines and closed schools and daycares is having on Gen X women in the workforce

●Why so many Gen X women are experiencing “anticipated loss”

●The price middle-aged women pay for taking on the burden of caregiving responsibilities – both for children and aging loved ones

●Ways employers can step up and better support middle-aged working moms

●The importance of finding a support network and realizing that this phase in life will eventually pass

For more information, visit www.adacalhoun.com.

The school year is winding down, and summer is heating up. For millions of kids, that can only mean one thing: summer camp. Except this summer is different. Camps around the country are closed because of Covid-19. Or, some parents just don’t feel comfortable sending their kids this year. But camp doesn’t have to be canceled. You can recreate it at home. Catherine Newman is a mom and author of the kids’ craft book, Stitch Camp, and her latest book, How to Be a Person. She recently published an article in The New York Times with ideas on how parents working from home can create a high-fun, low-stress “home camp” experience for their kids this summer. Catherine joins us to share her creative, fun, and practical advice – everything from teaching kids how to make their own lunch to how they can build the ultimate fort.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-How to talk openly with your child about their sense of loss this summer

-How to get started with building the camp-at-home experience (be sure to invest in plenty of craft supplies!)

-Why parents should consider teaching kids some basic skills in order have some independent summertime fun (think sewing, cooking, and even cleaning)

-How to set clear expectations with kids and be transparent around when you can and can’t be available during the work day

-How much screen time should we allow at "home camp"?

-Where to find helpful online educational resources for kids that will keep them busy and having fun this summer

For more information, visit https://www.catherinenewmanwriter.com/.

Teens are having a tough time right now. Milestones like prom and graduation went virtual or got canceled. So did classes, college campus visits, driver’s ed, and hangouts with friends. “This is a very painful experience for them,” says Lisa Heffernan, co-founder of Grown & Flown, the #1 website for parents of teens and young adults. Lisa also co-authored the book, Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults. She says parents need to show extra understanding and sympathy towards their teens right now, and acknowledge that their frustration and anger with quarantines are entirely rational responses to the crisis we’re all living through. Lisa joins us to share practical advice on how to help high schoolers and college kids live, learn, and succeed – emotionally and academically – in our new reality.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-The importance of modeling and suggesting constructive solutions to teens’ problems

-How the coronavirus has impacted the college admissions process, including tests like the SAT, ACT, and AP exams

-Will more kids decide to take a gap year this year?

-How parents should treat their college-age children who are living back at home

-How to break through and communicate with a teen who isn’t adhering to social distancing rules (gounding won’t work anymore!)

-Resources to help teens and college students find virtual internship and job opportunities

-Ways to encourage teens to keep healthy friendships and relationships in the era of Covid-19

For more information, visit www.grownandflown.com.

With distance learning methods and expectations varying from school district to school district – and, in many cases, from household to household – it’s easy for everyone in the family to feel like they’re failing right now. But Jessica Lahey sees our strange new reality as an opportunity to build resilience. A teacher for more than 20 years and mother of two, Jessica is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go so Their Children Can Succeed, and co-host of the #AmWriting podcast. She joins us to explain how to teach your kids (and yourself) how to push through failure and frustration as they learn, live, and play in the age of coronavirus and beyond. From measuring ingredients, to helping in the garden, to taking forest walks as a family, Jessica says this moment will resonate with children for a lifetime, giving them a chance to learn from experiences that are relevant and important to family life.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-Why all kids can benefit from being given more autonomy, and creative ways to foster it

-The drawbacks of “directive parenting,” and how to encourage kids to persevere through frustrating moments of failure

-Tips for how to stop projecting our own fears, anxieties, and stress about the COVID-19 pandemic onto our children (turn off the news!)

-How to lean on teachers for help with homework and homeschooling

-Pros and cons of “distance learning”

-How to expand your child’s definition of “learning” and apply it to practical and fun tasks in and around the home

For more information, visit http://www.jessicalahey.com/.

Under quarantines and stay-at-home orders, families are together more now than ever. And, dealing with kids’ challenging behaviors can make it even harder. As parents adjust to homeschooling their kids, they are gaining a newfound appreciation (and longing) for teachers. Dr. Ross Greene is a clinical child psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of the influential books, The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Raising Human Beings, and Lost & Found. Dr. Greene joins us to explain his Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, an approach parents can use to understand and handle their child’s behavior issues – under any circumstance. But he believes this moment presents an opportunity for parents to model resilience and flexibility, build empathy with their kids, and team up with them to solve underlying problems that cause challenging behaviors.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-Why behaviors like aggression, defiance, tantrums, and sulking are signals of a child’s underlying unmet expectations

-Skills that a child with behavior issues may lack, and how to spot them

-Plans A, B, and C – the three primary ways in which caregivers can solve problems with kids

-Reasons why simply exerting parental power and authority will never truly resolve a child’s behavior issues

-How to collaborate with your child to discover the unmet expectations and unsolved problems that are causing their behaviors

-Tips for getting on the same page with your partner to successfully deal with behavior issues

For more information and free resources for parents, visit www.livesinthebalance.org.

Research has shown the many benefits of practicing daily meditation. Lower stress and anxiety. Stronger relationships. Greater empathy for others. Improved focus and mental cognition. (Just to name a few.) All qualities shared by great leaders...and great parents. Matthias Birk joins us to explain the powerful connection between mindfulness meditation, leadership, and parenting. With more than 20 years of meditation and leadership experience, Matthias, an adjunct professor at NYU’s Graduate School of Public Service and Columbia Business School, has taught meditation and leadership skills to hundreds of executives at companies including Goldman Sachs and McKinsey. A father of two young children, Matthias shares how anyone – even stressed-out working parents in the middle of a global pandemic – can find inner peace by starting (and sticking to) daily mindfulness meditation practice.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-How mindfulness meditation helps us see things more objectively and form deeper relationships with our children, partners, and coworkers

-Why meditation teaches us to be calmer parents and more effective leaders at work and in our personal lives

-How meditation can help us transcend our destructive, ego-driven thoughts and feelings, like self-doubt, fear, and anxiety

-How to make time and space for a daily mindfulness meditation experience at home

-“Intro-level” tips, advice, and resources for getting started with meditation

For more information, read Matthias Birk’s recent article in Harvard Business Review.

An army of our nation’s caregivers — nannies, babysitters, senior aides — are out of work due to stay-at-home orders, illness, or caring for their own kids and family members impacted by the COVID-19 crisis. At the same time, furloughs and layoffs are putting families under incredible financial strain. Many are struggling to continue paying their caregivers — to both assist them financially and retain them once social distancing orders are eased. America’s caregiving crisis is accelerating. Eva MacCleery, director of client services for Care.com HomePay, is with us to explain how two new pieces of federal legislation — the Families First Coronavirus Response Act and the CARES Act — can grant relief to families and their caregivers during this difficult time. Eva answers questions on new expanded provisions for paid sick and family leave benefits, payroll tax credits, unemployment insurance, and more.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-How COVID-19 has emphasized legal pay for caregivers

-How and when caregivers can access new paid sick and family leave benefits extended to them under the Families First Coronavirus Response Act

-Payroll tax breaks for household employers under this new legislation

-What to do if you can’t afford to keep paying your nanny, babysitter, day care center, or preschool throughout this crisis

-If household employers qualify to receive Paycheck Protection Program and Economic Injury Disaster loans

-Resources for household employers and caregivers looking for more payroll and tax-related information

For more information, visit https://www.care.com/homepay.

This is a really tough time for pre-teens and middle schoolers. School is closed. They’re hunkered down at home with their families. Add to this the transition from childhood to adolescence, and this moment presents a precarious moment in their lives. Friends are their world, but, suddenly, they’re forced to keep a social distance. School days and after-school activities have given way to distance learning and Zoom chats with the grandparents. Phyllis Fagell, licensed clinical professional counselor and author of Middle School Matters, returns to the podcast to help the parents of pre-teens navigate the coronavirus crisis with compassion. She shares ideas on how kids of this age can cope with – and take command of – this unprecedented situation. Phyllis explains why now is the time to focus on connecting with your middle schoolers and look to expand the definition of learning beyond school work.

Listen to this episode to learn:

-How to help pre-teens feel more secure, reassured, and in control right now (while also giving them the autonomy and space they need)

-How to set boundaries while letting middle schoolers “be the architect of their plans”

-Advice on encouraging pre-teens to stay healthy and active, both physically and mentally

-Prosocial healthy outlets outside of screens, phones, and social media (books, mindfulness, and exercise are all encouraged)

-Why you should be monitoring your child’s social media and online use to prevent fatigue, bad habits, and negative behaviors

-Ways pre-teen boys versus girls are handling this challenging time

For more information, visit www.phyllisfagell.com.