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Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

• I think you are worth the effort of healing. 

In this (long) episode, I examine the diagnostic criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder, focusing on how the diagnosis is disproportionately applied to women and deeply intertwined with histories of trauma. It explores how trauma responses are often pathologized, the gendered assumptions embedded in diagnostic practices, and the consequences of mislabeling and stigmatizing distress.

References

Structural Violence and the Effects of the Patriarchal Structure on the Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP): A Critical Study Using Tools on BPD Symptoms and Social Violence https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/22/2/196  

Borderline Personality Disorder and Childhood Trauma: Exploring the Affected Biological Systems and Mechanisms. https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-017-1383-2  

Childhood Trauma and Axis I Disorders In Borderline Personality Disorder: A Correlational Study. https://mecp.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s43045-025-00511-3  

DSM-5 Made Easy. Dsm-5-Tr-Made-Easy-Clinicians-Diagnosis

New Professional Practice Guideline for Adults with Complex Trauma Histories https://www.ctipp.org/post/new-professional-practice-guideline-for-adults-with-complex-trauma-histories 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

This bonus episode shares a poem I wrote on self-worth, confronting reality, and the work of restoring the mind from broken parts. 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

• I think you are worth the effort of healing. 

 Worthlessness speaks in absolutes, but that doesn’t make it true. In this episode, I explore what happens when you stop taking the voice at face value and begin challenging the thoughts that try to define you. 

This episode isn’t about strategies to overcome negative thoughts. It’s about acknowledging that these thoughts are unhealthy and hold back healing. Acceptance of this as a truth is the first step before any deeper work on changing them can begin. 

References:

The Bobo Doll Experiment

Learn about DBT

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

Finding the right therapist or counsellor can feel overwhelming, especially after experiencing abuse or trauma (or maybe while you're still experiencing it). In this episode, I share practical tips for choosing a professional who truly understands coercive control and can support your healing journey. 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

When you leave an abusive relationship, especially one marked by coercive control, it’s not uncommon for the abuser to launch a smear campaign. This is a deliberate attempt to discredit you, isolate you, and control the narrative after you’ve left. In this episode, I break down what a smear campaign is, the red flags to watch for, and how you can protect your peace without exhausting yourself trying to prove your side. 

Together, we will also explore why people often believe the abuser, and how to respond when they do.

Whether you're navigating family fallout, social betrayal, or character assassination, this episode offers clarity, validation, and useful tips to help see this through.

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

"I feel guilty" 

If you’ve escaped coercive control or domestic violence, you’re probably no stranger to guilt. Feeling responsible for the pain your abuser claims to suffer after you leave is common. In this episode, I explore what guilt is, why it's not always trustworthy, and how guilt can also be used by abusers to manipulate. 

Your safety and healing come first. You’re not alone, and that guilt doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice. 

References

The psychophysiology of guilt in healthy adults - This study explored the neurobiology behind the feeling of guilt, and I mention it in the episode.

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

In this episode, I am joined by Kalesha, who bravely shares her personal story of surviving domestic abuse, and the current healing journey she is on. Together, we explore how children are often used as tools of manipulation and control in abusive relationships, which is a heartbreaking but critical aspect of coercive control that’s not discussed often enough. 

The interview is an open and honest conversation, and we hope you enjoy listening in! Kalesha's Threads handle is: @the_corporate_cutie

Visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about me, and the support that I offer.

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

In this episode, I’m talking about how male privilege is used as a tool for control in abusive relationships. This isn’t just about physical violence. I focus on the subtle, everyday ways power and entitlement show up and are reflected hugely in overrepresentation of males in society, as well as the difficulties in approaching these institutions that are supposed to protect women, as a result. 

References

Lundy Bancroft's book "Why Does He Do That?": Click Here

Statistics shared regarding Canadian women in leadership roles: Click Here

Study shared regarding male dominant attitudes within the police force: Click Here

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

In this episode, I continue analyzing past correspondence between myself and the abuser, focusing on the tactics of minimizing, denying, and blaming. I break down how these strategies are used to distort reality, shift responsibility, and keep targets trapped in cycles of self-doubt and confusion. By examining these patterns, I aim to bring clarity to the emotional and psychological impact of coercive control within abusive relationships.

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

Send us a text

Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma

In this episode, I explore a message I wrote to my father in 2023, and take you through his response with me. It’s a raw and honest conversation that highlights the tactics of minimizing, denying, and blaming, which are patterns that are reflected in the power and control wheel. These dynamics are deeply familiar to many who have lived through coercive control or emotional abuse and domestic violence in any form, and my hope is that by sharing my experience, you’ll feel seen, understood, and less alone. I want my story to create space for yours, because you deserve to feel validated in what you’ve lived through. 

Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.

Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.

My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.

Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.

If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.

Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!

Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!