The Ownership Game with Gary Montalvo

Escaping a High-Control Religious System: Michelle Moffitt on Healing, Power & Voice

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 What happens when a smart, capable woman gets trapped in a high-control religious system that strips her of her identity, voice, and power? In this powerful episode of The Ownership Game, host Gary Montalvo sits down with psychotherapist, leadership coach, and author Michelle Moffitt. For 30 years, Michelle was immersed in a patriarchal religious system that shaped every part of her life—from her marriage to her career to her voice.

But this is more than a story about faith or religion—it’s about trauma, belonging, people-pleasing, and the cost of abandoning your authenticity for acceptance. Michelle’s story is raw, honest, and a wake-up call for anyone questioning the systems they're a part of.

If you've ever felt stuck in a life you didn't consciously choose—or found yourself judging someone who is—this conversation will challenge and inspire you. 

 

In this episode, we discuss:

  • How trauma and the need for safety can lead us into high-control systems—even when we come from empowered backgrounds
  • The subtle, progressive tactics of control: love-bombing, isolation, gaslighting, and indoctrination
  • The psychological toll of spiritual and emotional abuse—and how it erodes self-trust
  • Why smart, intuitive, high-functioning people often stay in toxic systems far longer than they think they will
  • The power of the Enneagram, therapy, and coaching in rebuilding identity and voice after leaving a controlling environment
  • What it means to forgive yourself, reclaim your life, and move forward without judgment



    • Chapters:

    00:00 Intro Clip: Michelle on Gaslighting in Religious Systems

    01:16 Welcome to The Ownership Game

    02:10 What Are High-Control Systems & Why Smart People Get Trapped

    03:30 Introducing Michelle Moffitt: Therapist, Coach, Author

    04:00 Michelle’s Progressive Upbringing vs. The System She Entered

    06:00 Trauma, Date Rape & the Search for Safety

    08:00 Entering a Patriarchal Religious System

    10:00 Early Red Flags, Marriage, and Loss of Voice

    13:00 Why We Stay: Belonging, Love-Bombing & Indoctrination

    16:00 Understanding Narcissism, Gaslighting & Control

    20:00 The Turning Point: Realizing Something Was Deeply Wrong

    23:00 Asking for Help from the Church—and Being Told to Repent

    27:00 Being Cast Out, Losing Everything & Moving Back to Seattle

    31:00 Rebuilding Life From Scratch

    34:00 Healing the Body from Hypervigilance

    36:00 Becoming a Therapist: Awakening Through Education

    39:00 Enneagram, Coaching, and Newfound Agency

    45:00 Final Reflections on Motivation, Forgiveness & Self-Compassion

    54:00 Advice for Others Escaping Toxic Systems

    58:00 Closing Thoughts from Gary: Healing Begins with Honoring Your Truth 

    __________________________________

    Connect with Michelle:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michellemoffittcoach/ 

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.rogers.520357/https://www.facebook.com/michelle.rogers.520357/

    Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellemoffittcoach/ 

    Website: https://michellemoffitt.com/ 

    Michelle would like to promote: https://www.amazon.com/Cracked-Open-Journey-Resilient-Independent-ebook/dp/B0DCCFCT5D/ref=sr_1_1?crid=23VQZJN1V6JKI&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.PYMyl6cA-9ODB4h2mORSfd8EhDwCJkHGACcGpF5ZclQ-vzl95zWIMuZx1hKAYAKFMHfK-IgdR0ZXAawSD0TZ1g.Nn3Ig2eHPMANvfOBDJEX_-u1u-j6IefuFeCYLDWvwsE&dib_tag=se&keywords=michelle+moffitt+cracked&qid=1736628528&sprefix=%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-1 

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      The Ownership Game with Gary MontalvoBy Gary Montalvo