I love sitting down with couples to lead pre-marital counseling. As we discuss all the opportunities and complexities that marriage brings, I will often ask, “So, tell me how you two handle conflict?” 

In some instances, they will look at each other in such a way that makes me think they were arguing on the drive over to meet me. In other scenarios, the couple will look at me and explain, “We really don’t fight with each other.” That statement tells me two things: 1) they don’t know each other that well yet, and 2) they are going to be unprepared on how to fight well when the conflict finally comes.

Whether you are married or on the path to marriage, it’s time to go the second mile in establishing fight rules for your relationship.

First-mile believers fight unfairly and brush the recurring conflicts under the rug. Second-mile disciples learn how to work through conflict in a biblical manner.