A harrowing tale of a monster terrorizing a small town. A dark government shadow organization hell-bent on capturing it. A neighbourhood shaken to its very core, and only a small group of children standing between them and a universe of horror. And a horrific looking, wrinkle-fleshed creature with super powers. Are we describing a typical cheesy 80’s horror movie? No. How about Benny’s emotionally and financially crushing divorce and the children driving him to an early grave? Possibly. Or is it the beloved family-friendly classic E.T. The Extra Terrestrial? 

Join us as we revisit a true legend of a sci-fi masterpiece and relive all of our childhood trauma and nightmares, by exploring some of the subtle reasons why we will never watch this movie again, nor will we ever subject family and friends to it. Is E.T. an absolutely undeniable work of cinematic art? Of course it is. But it’s also an extremely rare case of an 80’s A-list movie being weird and unsettling enough to make a couple of middle aged men want to delve deeper. And that’s really the key here...E.T. is unsettling. Just like Benny’s microphone quality.

“But Jay and Benny, your show is supposed to focus on the has-been and also-ran movies of the 80’s and 90’s, not extremely popular and beloved classics. Why did you break your own rules? And why does Jay have a buttery smooth voice while Benny sounds like a hyperactive 12 year old?” you may be asking. To both questions, our answer is simple: Shut up, that’s why. 

Listen to us treat one another like therapists as we relive the horror movie that is E.T. by discussing things like:

Can John Williams create anything but an absolute majesty of a score for every movie he’s involved in?

Everything about this movie is dark and misty. Try playing the first 5 minutes on mute, but add music from Friday the 13th. Mind = blown

How many times can Elliott be a stone-cold killer and sleep in dark cornfields and eerily lit sheds, knowing full well that there is a mysterious and terrifying creature out there?

E.T. has lots of sweet and funny moments when he and the kids exchange surprised screams, but man, they really ended up with a horror show of an alien

Based on the above, I think it’s reasonable to say that Drew Barrymore falling apart mentally after this movie is completely understandable. Cocaine is a hell of a drug

Can someone - anyone - tell us if Audi cars were always luxury cars? Because the 80’s Audi sedan is visual vomit

E.T. is not a Jedi. I don’t care how many Easter eggs you think you’ve seen or how many Reddit posts you’ve forwarded

Dude, that ravine scene...if we could pinpoint the exact moment in our lives which drove us to be the sloppy and damaged men that we are now, this is it

We’re 8 movies in, and this is the second time that NASA is presented as a paramilitary shadow ops organization, instead of 300 nerds in a control center doing long division