Ever Better Today

Janet Kelly and Nancy McKeon met while working for The Washington Post. Janet was a "no-nonsense" staff writer sharing her views on style and fashion, while Nancy was Editor of the Food, Real Estate, Travel, and Sunday Business sections. (But not all at once.)

After leaving The Post, Janet recognized that media outlets and websites were catering to millenials. And the 40+ audience, a growing demographic with significant buying power, was being ignored.

Janet decided to make a difference by creating and delivering stories with points of view for a more mature audience. Janet recruited Nancy, they brought other media-savvy women on-board, and MyLittleBird.com was born!

In our discussion, they share what it's like to run your own business vs. working for a corporation, how they are growing the website, and why this venture is so energizing. We also chat about some of their favorite stories - how to find jeans that fit, the dog park and dog culture, and managing anxiety attacks.

Listen to our conversation to hear Nancy and Janet discuss:

• Janet and Nancy's backgrounds in print and online media and how their paths intersected to create a new online venture
• Why they created "a grown-up girl's guide to D.C. living"
• How to stay energized as your career progresses
• Why it pays to be strategic in business and in your personal life
• Adapting and using your skills for new ventures
• The importance of "getting out!"
• Constantly expanding your knowledge to remain in the game Quotes from Nancy and Janet:

"We try to mix the valuable and the humorous to create a package that's inviting for us to write about and that's inviting for our readers to read about." - Nancy

"As Nancy always says, 'Look we've been doing this for so long, why shouldn't we keep doing it? Because it's what we know how to do and we have gathered all this experience, so let's keep doing it. Let's keep going.'" - Janet

"When opportunity knocks, or when the occasion arises, you figure out how to make it work for you." - Janet

http://MyLittleBird.com

Contact Lisa: [email protected]

Jonathan Holth is a community builder, father, and entrepreneur who lives in Grand Forks, ND. He co-owns the "upscale, but not uptight" Toasted Frog restaurants that specialize in fried cheesy pickles.

He's a leader in a growing movement of private citizens who partner with friends, neighbors, public officials and foundations to make a difference in their communities. He invests his time in helping to create a more fun, interesting, economically diverse North Dakota for today and for his future grandchildren. He believes in building the community that you want to live in, and encourages all to become more vocal and get involved in your own communities. Listen to our chat to hear Jonathan discuss:

• His entrepreneurial journey through the creation and continued success of his restaurant, The Toasted Frog
• Why Toasted Frog restaurants are closed on Sundays
• Community involvement and the positive impact you can make as a proactive citizen
• What it means to be a Knight Foundation city
• His experience in community-building, specifically the work-study program he did in Copenhagen to study the city's transportation modes, public spaces, and parks
• The differences that he found in community planning for public spaces overseas compared to those processes in the U.S.
• Being personal and intentional in the community design process when planning a community's public spaces
• Creating a grassroots organization within your community and the importance of developing public/private partnerships
• The value of being involved with city hall as a private sector voice rather than running for office
• His work with Evolve Grand Forks, an organization focused on creating an entrepreneurial culture in Grand Forks
• The development of a co-working space - the first space of its kind in the city
• How to take the next step in your business without breaking the bank
• Creating a strong community of talent, to attract and retain people
• Creating reasons for people to choose to stay within the state including celebrating accomplishments
• Emceeing and presenting at the TEDx talks to share GREAT ideas
• Drawing inspiration from other communities
• Creating community with a long-term vision as a legacy for future generations
• Preserving the connections you make (and keep) in a smaller community while growing and evolving

Quotes from Jonathan:

"I think that there's a misperception about restaurant ownership as being glamorous and fun. Much of the work that my business partners and I are doing during hours of operation are washing dishes, busing tables, and seating people. We do whatever needs to be done to make sure that the customers are happy."

"The type of community that we want to live in doesn't just appear, so I decided to get involved and try to make positive change wherever I could." "I've had a lot of people ask me about my interest for running for office and that is something that does interests me, but I've also found that there needs to be a strong private sector voice. Public officials crave that voice so that they're not always the ones advocating for change." "Oftentimes entrepreneurs are working out of their basement or they're working out of their garage because they are sort of bootstrapping their business and just have a lack of funds. A co-working space allows you to take your business to the next level without breaking the bank. So, you don't have to max out your credit cards to get your business off the ground." "The community-advocacy work that I'm doing right now, I'm viewing it through the lens of being a future grandfather. My parents lived here, my wife's parents lived here, and all of my family loves this place and having family close and having this tight-knit community has done wonders for my daughters already. I want to make sure that our community is a place that my daughters are proud of and that early on in their lives they make a decision that 'This is where I want to live and that this is where I want to raise my family.'"

Contact Jonathan

Website: The Toasted Frog

Facebook: Toasted Frog - Bismarck

Twitter: @JonFromForks

Linkedin: Jonathan Holth

Contact Lisa: [email protected]

Erika Ettin is an online dating coach who left her corporate finance job to help men and women develop relationships. Her business is called A Little Nudge, because she gives her clients the nudge and the help they need to get out there and start dating! In our discussion, she shares how and why she became an online dating coach, client success stories, as well as dos and don'ts of dating. Her clients range in age from 22 to 72, with an average age of 44. If you're thinking about jumping into the dating game or if you know someone who is, this episode will be helpful as well as entertaining! Listen to our chat to hear Erika share:

• Her supporting role in an online dater's life
• Why it's so challenging to write your own online dating profile
• Why she created A Little Nudge
• The difference between a high-end matchmaker and an online dating coach
• How she helps her clients develop a fuller life beyond dating
• The link between dating advice and self-image
• Why people have such a hard time finding the right partner
• How to get started with online dating (when you have no experience)
• Recommended online dating websites
• Unrealistic expectations and how they can damage a potential relationship
• The importance of dating with a new mindset and fresh perspective
• The importance of being NATO: Not Attached to Outcome
• How she ghostwrites responses for some of her clients
• Why women shouldn't offer to pay for dinner
• Tips for staying safe
• Going with your gut and doing what you feel comfortable with
• The importance of auditing your profile
• The pitfalls of lying on your online profile

Quotes from Erika: "It's all about marketing yourself!" "For whatever reason, people think when it comes to marketing themselves, they don't have to put the time in, they don't have to put the energy in. But that's exactly the opposite of what you should do, You're not marketing a product, you're not marketing a service, you're marketing YOU." "I call myself 'educated-impulsive,' because I'm fairly impulsive but I've done the research first. But, once I'm ready, I jump." "Don't use online dating as a band-aid, ego-boost, or something to fill the void. Do it only when you're ready, because it's frustrating for the other person if they like you and you're just not emotionally there yet." "Don't think you're the lucky one who is going to bump into someone at the airport and then it's love at first sight and you walk off into the sunset. That happens so infrequently! Just like finding a new job, finding a partner is hard work and it should be because it's really important." "I tell people to go on first dates with no expectations - not positive, not negative, just see what it is to meet a new person." "It does take work. You know, Rome wasn't built in a day. Don't compare yourself to anyone because you don't know your friend's standards. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Just worry about yourself." Contact Erika: Website: www.alittlenudge.com where you can find her video series, 90-Days to Dating Success Facebook: A Little Nudge Twitter: @ALittleNudge Linkedin: Erika Ettin

Contact Lisa: [email protected]

Tara Cousineau, PhD, is a Clinical Psychologist, who primarily supports women and girls. She is a "Kindness Warrior," and the author of an upcoming book called, The Kindness Cure about how acts of kindness can shift a person's life.

Through her work with clients and as the mother of two daughters, she's observed a decrease in empathy and a rise in nasty online activity that sometimes rises to the level of criminal behavior. And when Tara's daughter was assaulted by a classmate, she decided to make a difference by writing a book about kindness.

She works with many women who are 40+ and we discuss the shifts that take place when children become more independent and how to address these changes. Tara shares activities that bring her family closer together and she's learned from experience that even if you think your kids aren't paying attention to the values you're modeling, you may find out years later that they actually were.

Listen to the discussion to hear Tara discuss how:

• Her Clinical Psychology practice has led her down a more compassionate road where kindness rules.
• The Kindness Cure was borne out of her daughter being assaulted by a high school classmate.
• To set rules and expectations for your children. But know that they don't want to disappoint their parents, so there is a chance that they won't share their most important life events.
• Practicing self-compassion will help you to react calmly in tense situations.
• The world needs a resurgence of kindness and empathy.
• The "revenge fantasies" that some teens carry out go beyond "mean girl" behavior.
• Survey results showing that empathy levels have decreased as narcissism has grown in the U.S.
• Our culture has switched to achievement, success, and happiness as opposed to the more traditional values of kindness, generosity, and fairness.
• Neuroplasticity can offset the negativity in our society.
• You can deal with "Debbie Downers" or the "Eeyores" in your life.
• To manage the transition to an empty nest by coming back into the present moment and acknowledging your own emotions.
• Adding variety to your routine can spice up your life!
• Creating a family mission statement makes a difference even when your children make fun of it!

Quotes from Tara:

"We forgot basic kindness. We've forgotten what it means to be kind. And that we are in that state-of-mind where everyone is in that fight or flight response."

"We pay too much attention to the drama. Culturally, we pay attention so that we are almost inundated 24/7 with all the horrible things that happen in the world. And this is very insidious."

"Be kinder than you think you are. I think we have a sense that we are kind, but it takes effort. I think it takes more effort now, then it has in the past. So I just challenge people to be kinder than you think are and see where it takes you."

Contact Tara

Website: http://www.taracousineau.com/

Facebook: Moxie Moms Coaching

Twitter: @taracousphd

Linkedin:Tara Cousineau, PhD

Noelle Van Vlierbergen, a sobriety coach, helps women to recognize that their path to recovery isn't just about staying sober, it's about embracing a life change and owning a bolder, better future. Through her business, Sober Moxie, she provides coaching and online resources for women in recovery.

Listen to the podcast to hear Noelle share her experiences and thoughts about:

• Her personal story of struggle and her incredible recovery

• Addiction and addictive personalities

• Recommended resources (see list below)

• The importance of addressing the situation when you are concerned about a family member or friend struggling with addiction

• Communication - reaching out and connecting is "super important"

• The story behind Sober Moxie

• Changes that take place throughout the recovery process including the fog of vulnerability

• Her 11 core principles of "Conscious Recovery"

• The correlation between the physical and mental components of the recovery process

• Creating a more joyful life by reframing your daily habits and finding balance

• The positive benefits of yoga, meditation, and physical activity

• Dealing with rough moments and badys without turning to alcohol

Quotes from Noelle: On addressing concern for a friend struggling with addiction: "Reaching out and connecting with that person is super important. People are struggling internally. It's a very personal journey."

On the creation of Sober Moxie: "I wanted to create a program for women to lighten up the whole experience of recovery. And I think that there is so much that you step into when you begin your journey of recovery and it evolves and changes and gets better and better every single year. It's a real opportunity for women to come into their own and really be bigger and bolder than they've ever been before.

"There's so much that can be done to help create balance in the body. Your central nervous system has been under attack essentially for the amount of time that you've been drinking. And so when you begin a yoga practice, a lot of it has to do with focusing on breath and you're literally physically calming your nervous system on a daily basis."

Sober Moxie Facebook

Contact Lisa: [email protected]

Learn about the who, what, where, when, how and why of the Ever Better podcast. Host and producer, Lisa Conners Vogt, discusses where the podcast has been and where it's going.

This podcast is a reunion of sorts with Doug Hensch, my 11th podcast guest on an episode I produced 9 months ago. And Doug and I go waaay back beyond that. We used to work together at Nextel, which is now Sprint, before we both shifted our career paths. Doug is the father of two active boys, an executive coach, and an author. When we last spoke, Doug was writing a book about resilience and today he's joining us to share some of the wisdom from his book, Positively Resilient: 5 1/2 Secrets to Beat Stress, Overcome Obstacles, and Defeat Anxiety.

Listen to this episode to hear Doug discuss what resilience is and the importance of being resilient as you go through life. He encourages the principles of resilience to create happy and healthy habits in his sons' lives as well as in his own life.

Doug shares ideas that he uses for himself and with his kids to set intentions for the day so that you are always working towards achieving your larger goals, and are less likely to be diverted by social media, the news, and other distractions. We talk about optimism, and why too much of it can be a problem, and ways to track your progress to reinforce what you're achieving. In our last discussion, Doug and I shared our views on free-range parenting, and this time, we get into helicopter parenting, which is now a problem in the workplace. Parents are actually calling their adult children's supervisors to complain about performance evaluations and raises! As an expert in resilience, Doug always returns to one of his favorite sayings about a black belt in Jiu Jitsu: "A black belt is a white belt that never gives up."

Listen to the conversation to hear us discuss:

• Feedback: Why the good, the bad, and the ugly is important to make thriving. However, it can be difficult to accept feedback on your own work.
• Doug's new book! Positively Resilient: 5 1/2 Secrets to Beat Stress, Overcome Obstacles, and Defeat Anxiety
• The importance of resilience in life in order to live a healthy, happy, and meaningful life!
• How resilience can be both a natural and learned life skill
• Neuroplasticity and the ability to rewire the thoughts and habits you create for yourself
• The effects of over-parenting on developing resilience in our children
• How parenting styles have evolved from the "good ol' days"
• Participation medals" How they are a disservice to today's youth by rewarding them without achieving anything or showing an exemplary effort
• How a parent's fear of failure on their child's achievement will ultimately end up holding their child back from becoming happy, healthy members of society to find their own way
• Carrying the theme of "Rising to the top through resilience" with the balloon imagery on the cover of Positively Resilient and throughout the book
• Goal setting as a positive force in your life
• Tracking your progress by breaking down a large goal into smaller incremental goals to help you realize your success along the way
• Diet and sleep - critical to resilience especially as you get older
• Using an index card and the question,"What are you going to do today?" to improve your family life
• Using an intentions journal to release the overwhelm and stress people feel daily
• Psychological flexibility - All the hats you can put on in life to help you diversify your way of thinking, so you're not stuck in one perspective including:
  • Pessimistic Hat
  • Detective Hat
  • Cowboy Hat
  • Optimistic Hat
  • Green Hat
• Visualization: Most effective for achieving short-term goals by providing positive emotions that are motivating and energizing. However, visualization can also be considered fantasizing and this can be counter-productive for achieving long-term goals
• Common traits of resilient people: Constantly trying to improve, being willing to learn new things, and experimenting while not being afraid to fail
• Getting over fears of starting something new
• Re-frame your thinking and asking yourself, "What can I do to experiment as a scientist of my own life?"
• The concept of being a lean startup. Taking small actions to test something new, get early feedback and adjust your plan as needed

Quotes from Doug:

On resilience: "It's this foundational quality that I think is necessary to live a healthy, happy, meaningful life. And I look at it as bouncing back from obstacles, learning from our mistakes, our adversities, our wins in life. Reaching out to other people and connecting with other human beings. And I think it's also finding this really interesting place in life where, at times, we can be motivated by the challenges in front of us in a really positive way as opposed to finding ourselves in this deep state of stress and anxiety."

"I believe that we praise for effort but to give trophies or medals when kids don't achieve anything, or put forth an exemplary effort, is harming them." On the balloon imagery in the book: "I think the whole idea is that even when things look difficult there is a way to re-frame it. There is almost always a way to learn from your adversity and to continue to increase your resilience [....] The balloon rises through every chapter. It just goes a little bit higher until it gets to the top of the page in the last chapter."

"By simply paying attention to the things that are important in my life, I am more likely to do them and then reap the benefits of those."

"Your best project managers in my mind, for instance, have that realistic optimism, where they believe the team can achieve it, but they're not blind to the risks and the issues that the team faces."

"Not everything works for everybody. Find things that you can gravitate towards and have a couple of strategies ready to go. Be prepared to habituate to some of those and then move on to other strategies."

"One of the hallmarks for people who achieve their goals is, wait for it, THEY GET STARTED."

Contact Lisa: [email protected]

@EverBetterU

Contact Doug: @DougHensch

Dr. Deborah Norris is a psychologist who worked as a neurotoxicologist for the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for fifteen years. During that time, she was practicing mindfulness and working as a part-time fitness instructor. In 2009 she took a major career and lifestyle leap! She left her EPA job to open The Mindfulness Center in Bethesda, MD with her two daughters.

As President of The Mindfulness Center, Debbie researchs, teaches and practices mind-body practices while providing a welcoming facility for other practictioners to offer their services. Customers are able to benefit from classes, small groups and 1:1 sessions for youga, acupuncture, counseling, tai chi, massage, hypnosis and more.

During our podcast discussion, Debbie and I discuss:

• Starting the Mindfulness Center and working with her two daughters
• Her son's encouragement to write her book, In the Flow
• What mindfulness means and practices that can keep you on track and guide you to a richer and more wonderful life
• Meditation is a practice and mindfulness is the outcome
• The health benefits of practicing mindfulness and related mind-body practices
• Research that demonstrates the effectiveness of using mindfulness to treat chronic pain
• Online meditation programs coming soon to the MindfulnessCenter.org
• Debbie's previous work as a Neurotoxicologist for the EPA and her interests in how specific drugs affect the brain
• Debbie's role as Director of the Psychobiology of Healing Program at American University and why she loves teaching students!
• How dancing introduced her to the practice of mindfulness
• Her new book! In the Flow: Passion, Purpose and the Power of Mindfulness
• How feeling safe opens your heart. The meaning of courage – keeping the heart open even when you're afraid
• Intuition – taking yoru awareness into your body and seeing what you're sensing there
• Embracing and accepting The Monkey Mind…our stream of consciousness…"The Voice Within"
• Carrying the momentum from mindfully meditating into your life
• Her study at Childrens' Hospital in D.C. that used guided meditations to help children overcome trauma from entering the hospital and from medical treatments
• Bringing the practice of mindfulness into schools
• How to start meditating

Quotes from Debbie:

On mindfulness: "If everybody would do this, learn to meditate, the world would be such a beautiful place."

"Any exercise that connects you with this form of self-awareness, what we're finding is it enhances not only self-awareness, but the capacity for self-regulation and self-control. And a lot of people shy at that word control, yet that is what we seek. I prefer to call it coordination, the ability to coordinate what we choose to do, how we choose to feel."

"Different things work for different people. The journey to well-being is not a single path. It's different journeys for different people."

"To stay physically fit is not something that you just do occasionally."

"I think a lot of us feel like we're seekers. We're on this journey looking for the way to live right. What makes things tick…how do we keep setting ourselves upright, or as I say in the book, 'back in the flow.'"

Contact Debbie:

The Mindfulness Center MInd Body JournalTwitter: @MindfulnessCntr Facebook: Facebook.com/TheMindfulnessCenter Debbie's book: In the Flow: Passion, Purpose, and The Power of Mindfulness

Have you ever said to a friend, "I need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up"? But you're already are a "grown-up" with a successful 20+ year career behind you. Well…you're not alone! And, you really don't need to choose. This is just one of the topics that Maggie Huffman and I discuss in this Ever Better Podcast.

Maggie is a self-described poly-serial-multi-enthusiast, meaning she's very involved with multiple professional and personal interests.

After working in the wine industry for over 20 years, she finally figured out how to blend her many interests into a fulfilling and joyful life. Unfortunately, the sudden death of her mother was the catalyst for getting her life in balance.

Maggie and I hope that through listening to this podcast and reading her book, Oh Snap, My Career is in Crisis, you can move your life in the right direction before you're faced with a crisis. (Send Maggie an email with "Ever Better" in the subject line, and she'll send you a free copy of "Oh Snap!")

Maggie left her corporate career in the wine industry to help her coaching clients reach their true potential. She's also a speaker, an Aura-Soma practitioner, a vocalist a pet lover, and author of three best-selling books: Oh Snap! My Career is in Crisis, Whoops! I Forgot to Achieve My Potential and WTF?!? I Still Believe this Sh*t?.

Listen to the podcast to hear us discuss:

• Living in Sonoma Valley
• Her non-fiction books that offer a serious, but light-hearted view of personal development, your life potential and managing your career
• Discovering your potential at any age by getting to know who you are now
• Sampling projects, tapas-style, to determine where your interests lie
• The period of Maggie's life when she was out of balance. Her career dominated her life, she wasn't signing, and had no time for friends or outside interests
• Her dramatic career change when she left the corporate world to concentrate on her other interests
• Shifting to an aligned work and personal life
• Combining career and purpose: your career only partially defines you. Above all, know your purpose.
• Lessons of Aura-Soma, a system of color and light, based on the universal language of color. You are the colors you choose! My favorite colors are green and yellow…what does this mean?!

Quotes from Maggie:

"Put in a little bit of time to really try things. Build a personal tapas menu of little bites, little things that you want to try until you really discover what you want to be, what you want to do."

"Okay…this is it. I am not spending my entire life not singing, not doing what I was meant to be doing or things that fulfill me."

"I love synchronicity! When you decide to do something, a lot of times synchronous events happen – yet they don't just happen along. You can see them because you've made a decision to focus on something."

"I think more of us are like you and like me where there's a thread, there's a theme, or different patches that come together to make a pattern. I call myself a 'poly-serial-multi-enthusiast.'"

"I know a lot of people are really interested in a lot of things. You do them and then you move on, instead of it being THE THING that defines you for your entire life or even for a significant portion."

"We're never going to be what we wanted to be when we grow up, right? Because we're explorers. Adventurers."

"If someone is feeling like they're in a crisis and they think that it's a work-life balance crisis, stop and think. It isn't a work-life balance crisis. It's a life balance crisis. Work is a meaningful facet of life. You're not going to solve your feelings by changing work, unless it fits in with your life as a whole."

Contact Maggie: Website: www.talktomaggie.com Email: [email protected] For a free copy of Maggie's book, Oh Snap! My Career is in Crisis, send her an email with "Ever Better" in the subject line.

Thanks for listening! Send me a note at [email protected] if you'd like to share your thoughts about the podcast or to work with me.

Ever Better!

Melody Warnick, freelance journalist and author of This is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live, wrote the book on falling in love with where you live.

Moving is something that Melody has ample firsthand experience with. She's moved from Ames, Iowa to St. George, UT to Silver Spring, MD to Austin, TX to her current (and hopefully more permanent) home, Blacksburg, VA.

As she planned her last trek with her husband and two children, she began thinking that she might be addicted to moving. A curious journalist, she began researching, and discovered that 12% of Americans move each year and the average American can expect to move 11.7 times throughout their life. All of this shifting has resulted in 28% of us not knowing our neighbors by name.

Melanie's research led to her the concept of "placemaking," the practice of making your community more livable. In our discussion, Melanie shares some of the placemaking projects she's pursued since moving to Blacksburg. Some of these involved her children, some she's done herself, and some with others in the community. The result is that she became comfortable in her new environment much more quickly than she ever has in the past, she knows her neighbors and many others in the community, she's learned a great deal about her town, and at least one of her projects has been adopted by others...a sure sign of success! And, when her husband recognized that his job with Virginia Tech was not a long-term fit, rather than deciding to move, he sought out, and found, a more desirable job close by. Melody's family is now looking for a house to purchase in the Virginia Tech area!

Listen to our discussion to learn about:

• The process of moving and how to put down roots more quickly
• Mindfulness and appreciating the things around you
• Writing her first book, This is Where You Belong
• Place attachment, bonding with the place that you live
• How to be happy where you are
• Having control of where you live
• Calling it quits in a town before you really try to make it a home - a very bad habit!
• Bringing your baggage with you when you move
• "Love where you live" experiments including putting up signs without permission, creating a chalk event, walking rather than taking the car.
• Placemaker Meg Daly and her idea that resulted in the creation of the 10 mile Miami Underline
• Choosing to get involved in building your city
• The more you love your town, the more it loves you back
• Melody's 11 "Love Where You Live Principles" including:
  • Our towns are what we think they are
  • When you invest, you feel invested
  • Every town is good at something. Do what your town is good at.

Quotes from Melody:

"You may not have ultimate control over where you live or how long you're there, but you can put down roots while you're there and really love it and find joy."

"As Americans we have a problem with restlessness."

"Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."

"I think there's a true movement toward average citizens doing ground up things in their town to make cool things happen….Average people, residents want to get involved. They want to have a hand in shaping where they live."

"That's what happens when you invest in your town. You certainly feel that sense of community and that sense of pride because you, perhaps created something that wasn't there before."

Contact Melody:

melodywarnick.com

Twitter: @melodywarnick

Linkedin: Melody Warnick

Send Lisa an email: [email protected]