Ever Better Today

Do you ever get caught up in negative thoughts about why something won't work out? Well…everyone does!

In this episode, you'll learn how to turn things around when you are starting to catastrophize.

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Byron Katie is known for The Work, a process by which you ask yourself questions about what's really happening.

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Here are examples of The Work:

1. If a certain situation or result becomes delayed and you start to think about negative outcomes, ask yourself IS IT TRUE?
2. If you believe that your negative thoughts are true, ask yourself, can you absolutely know that it's true? e.i that you got negative results or feedback?
3. If that outcome were to happen, how do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Lastly, ask yourself, who or what would you be without that thought?

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May these questions be your means to self-regulate, calm yourself down, and see things from a different perspective when things don't go the way you expected them to be (at least not instantly).

Note that this is a short summary of The Work. To learn more, check out Byron Katie's website here.

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

Fear can be a positive force, motivating us to take immediate action. But fear also has the capacity to limit our lives through concerns about unjustified implications.

Does fear help or hinder you? Here are four ways to think about FEAR from Anne Lamott.

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Anne Lamott is the author of Bird by Bird, a book about the writing process. Listen to Anne on the Tim Ferris Podcast, episode 522, Taming Your Inner Critic, Finding Grace, and Prayer.

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Four interpretations of FEAR:

#1 False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR)

You might look at a situation and conjure up all kinds of negative interpretations without true evidence that any of your scenarios are correct. However, at the moment, they seem real to you. This is false evidence appearing real (FEAR)

Example: You send an email to your CEO and don't get a quick response. You start thinking of all the reasons the CEO is made at you, about how you messed up, and when and where you're going to be fired. This is false evidence that appears real. Given more time and communication, you may find that you're doing a great job and the CEO was just busy.

#2 Frantic Effort to Appear Recovered (FEAR)

If you're on the path to recovery from addiction, you may want others around you to perceive that you are recovered. This can truly be damaging because you're not asking for the help you need.

#3 Future Events Already Ruined (FEAR)

Have you ever created ideas in your mind about unpleasant interactions or events that will happen if you attend a party, interview for a job, move to another city, or do something outside of your comfort zone?

What you're doing is ruining a future event that might change your life for the better! This is future events already ruined (FEAR).

#4 Fear Expressed Allows Relief (FEAR)

This is what we do in coaching: We let people express their fears. Once you start talking about those FEARs, it can help you get relief because you're talking it through. And sometimes that's all it takes!

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

Life will always dish up challenging circumstances like Covid-19.

Hope for and expect the best, be prepared for the worst, and make the best of whatever comes your way.

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Here's what I learned from having Covid in June 2022…

1. Do risk management

Think about what might happen in your life and prepare as much as possible in advance! Set up automated tasks so that they can keep happening even if you're unable to actually participate! Do as much advanced prep as you can whenever possible.

1. I'm a risk-taker

Covid-19 has been around for two and half years as of this recording and many people are still keeping their social world, and personal interactions small and contained. I'm taking a different approach. I socialize, invite people to my house, and travel. Despite having a Covid-19, I wouldn't change a thing because I've enjoyed living my life. However, I respect each person's personal decision. Everyone has to make choices about how much risk they can tolerate taking into consideration the financial and caregiving implications of getting sick.

1. Value the relationships I have

My COVID was another reminder that I am grateful for my family and friends. I've had lots of those reminders lately! It's so important to maintain or create relationships with people who can take care of you if you get sick or even just brighten your day. I value my relationships, and hopefully, I'm giving even more than I'm getting.

1. Be grateful

While I was in quarantine, I was very thankful to my friends and son for picking things up for me and checking in on me. I also appreciated my clients' flexibility with regard to shifting schedules and the ability to conduct leadership workshops virtually.

1. Be flexible

In any situation, consider your options. Don't assume something cannot be done. Brainstorm with others and take risks!

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So that's it and here I am again back to work and podcasting after recovering from Covid. And if anybody wants to chat about what's going on with them with COVID, just let me know!

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

To make it to the top, stay at the top, or start your own company, think about the insights you provide versus the reports you give!

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Insights vs Reports…

Reporting

Reporting means taking in information and sharing it without adding your own perspective.

An example of this is writing a book report without including your own thoughts and perspective.

Insight

This involves thinking, reading, and understanding information, and putting it together with other pieces of information. You're creating something new by adding your perspective and connecting the dots.

An example of this is one business owner who realized that sales began to decline in March of this year. She realized that this was probably when the US recession began. This led her to assess staffing, product levels, business hours, and service offerings

As another example, if an HR professional reports that "Five people resigned in the past month, and in their exit interviews, they said that they were going on to greater opportunities" vs further investigating why they left and what might have been done about it to give the executive team actionable insights.

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

Are you isolating yourself from change? Keeping your life at its status quo?

If so, the quality of your life will gradually decline.

Take advantage of the assets, resources, and knowledge of your friends to help you evolve.

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Avoid the cost of not evolving from different perspectives…

Business

Adapt to changes or face extinction!

For example, self-service in financial technology work has improved dramatically. Traditional brokerage firms like Merrill Lynch needed to adapt or sell. They sold to Bank of America and the brand name is being phased out.

Cryptocurrency

Understand the concepts behind crypto on a conversational level so that you can assess business trends.

I disagree with those who say cryptocurrency and NFTs are just a fad. I believe that they are a part of Fintech that's here to stay.

Fitness

If you want to avoid becoming shorter, keep on exercising to stay fit. As we get older, our joints become less flexible and bones become more brittle unless we exercise!

For several years I have been doing pilates, and lately, I found out that I'm taller than I used to be. It's also interesting to note that a man in his 60s whom I play pickleball with, still plays soccer for two hours a week with people in their 20s! He's still evolving!

Social Dynamics

I started reading more about racism and the impact that slavery had on social dynamics in our country after the death of George Floyd.

One book that I highly recommend is White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide, by Carol Anderson. You can find other titles in my bookstore.

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

In a coaching session, I sometimes ask "If you had a magic wand and could do anything in your life, what would it be? What's your answer?

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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What would you change in your life if you had a magic wand? Would you…

1. Creating new relationships and nurturing them with your family and friends?
2. Enhance your physical condition?
3. Overcome a feeling of flatness or lack of excitement in my life?
4. Bring something into your life that could brighten up your days, like a pet?
5. Increase your income?

Ways to begin making those things happen…

1. Be more attentive in every conversation with every person.
2. Monitor your diet, take more vitamins or supplements and spend more time working out to create optimal health.
3. Meet new people and build relationships.
4. Assess your job, circumstances, and people whom you spend time with. Are they helping you to move forward or are they contributing to being stuck?

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

Believing in "better an oops than a what if" involves trusting your instincts and taking calculated risks. You may have to rely on "asking for forgiveness rather than permission" but it just might be worth it!

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Creating How to navigate the "Better an Oops Than a What If" mindset…

1. Move past "the freeze". The freeze is that awkward moment when you know something, but you can't say anything because you freeze up. Get past the freeze so that you can move forward by asking a question, and then another one, and then another one. Watch the TEDx talk below with Kasia Urbaniak to learn more.
2. Attending parties and camps. Despite feeling a mixture of excitement and discomfort, you decide to attend a party or even an adult camp! Be attentive to your safety by creating an "escape plan" and making sure others know where you are. And then, go for it! Even if you show up for just a few minutes, you'll have moved the edges of your comfort zone.
3. Going out of the country for training and coaching. I've attended many training programs and retreats, and I never regret going. I always feel a bit apprehensive before I go, and sometimes while I'm on the plane or in the car on my way there, I doubt whether I should be making this journey. But then I remind myself that it's better to experience an "oops" failure than to wonder "what if?"
4. Asking for a raise at work. If you are working hard and making an impact at work, pull together your documentation about why you deserve a raise, practice with a friend, and then go for it!
5. Take a risk on new endeavors. Are you raising money for your venture? Go big. Ask enough to cover all the expenses for establishing your business.

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TEDx talk by Kasia Urbaniak, click here. One simple trick to reclaim your power.

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

How do you know if you are creating or maintaining?

They are two totally different mindsets!

A leader creates by bringing ideas to life while still staying rooted in reality. A maintainer sustains the status quo.

Either way, think of which will create the highest value and will best serve your current goals.

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Creating

Is an act of thinking, discovering, and implementing fresh ideas.

Entrepreneurial people are always coming up with new ways to do something, creating new processes and procedures. You may feel like an idea factory! You'll be served well by choosing wisely what to implement.

Maintaining

Is an act of preserving your norms.

In a business setting, you are maintaining when you ensure that people follow standard operating procedures and that products are created in the same way they were made yesterday.

Erie Canal: A great example of creating!

1. Created the conditions for cities to flourish: In the 1800s, the Erie Canal was built for commerce and human transportation. This led to the development of many cities, towns, and villages in New York State including Albany, Schenectady, Utica, Syracuse, Rochester, and Buffalo.
2. It became a recreation area. Schoen Place, in Pittsford, NY is currently a thriving area of stores, restaurants, and recreation due to the canal being repurposed for recreational purposes. This followed the transportation evolution from canals to railroads to trucks and planes.
3. Easy means for the farmers to carry their crops. Schoen Place evolved from an area where farmers could easily transport their goods to other markets.

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

Managing up means creating a good relationship with the person or people you report to. or who have an investment in your success. If you're a CEO, this could be your board of directors and investors, if you're a director, this could be the vice president that you report to and the executive team.

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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Six Key Points for Effectively Managing up

1. Create a Relationship of Two-way Respect. People who are very strong leaders appreciate feedback and an active, open discussion around strategies and ideas. However, continue to be mindful of your status and relationship with that person. Practice giving strong feedback before delivering it in person.
2. Assess What Your Team Can and Cannot Accomplish. Share your team's capacity in a realistic manner. Providing an unrealistic status and setting expectations for unachievable goals will create problems in the long run.
3. Share Your Accomplishments. Often people are hesitant to share their accomplishments and think that they're bragging about themselves. However, if you don't share what you've accomplished in clear language, your boss will not know what you've achieved and may underestimate your abilities.
4. Managing up is Promoting. If you are a manager, promote the work, accomplishments and capabilities of your team members. Without this, your boss will be unaware of the person's impact and this will lessen your ability to get them a raise and elevated title.
5. Set Boundaries. Set health boundaries so that you maintain a sustainable work/life balance. Understand what the person you're reporting to prefers so that you come to a healthy agreement and a respectful understanding.
6. Practice Transparency. Keep your boss in the loop on good things as well as things that are challenging and that concern you. Keep them up-to-date with significant events.

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here

Movies often reflect real-world coaching scenarios. In the movie Jerry Maguire, the relationship between Jerry and Rod Tidwell is a great example of what often happens in coaching. Jerry points out what might be holding Rod back from achieving everything that he wants. Rod doesn't truly hear Jerry until he finally does. And then everything shifts.

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Welcome to Ever Better Today: the daily podcast for creating your optimal business, career, or overall life in ten minutes or less. I'm Lisa Conners Vogt, Executive and Leadership Coach and founder of Ever Better Coaching and Consulting. Let's jump in!

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The film Jerry Maguire is about a sports agent, Jerry Maguire (played by Tom Cruise), who sees that money has become more important than players' well-being. So he writes a very long memo and distributes it to everyone at the company, thinking he can affect real change. Instead, he is fired. As a solo agent, Jerry's lone client is Rod Tidwell. As their relationship evolves, so does Rod's career and Jerry's business and life.

Great lessons in Jerry Maguire's movie from a coach's perspective…

1. A great coach who has your best interest in mind should be looking beyond the superficial and transactional nature of your relationship for blind spots and behaviors that might be limiting your success and happiness.
2. Your coach can share insights, but only you can accept them and make changes. No one can do the work for you...
3. Your coach's insights may or may ring true for you at the moment. Use your discussions to assess whatever has the greatest relevance for you. Significant shifts happen over time.

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To learn more about working with Ever Better, send me an email here or book a complimentary call with me here