Bring on the Light
The Winter Solstice marks the shortest day of the year. It also marks the return of progressively longer daylight. Christmas, Hanukkah, the Hindu Festival of Lights — these and similar holidays all celebrate light — external and internal light. What could it mean to have a “marriage lived in the light?“ When you call someone you love deeply “the light of my life,” what are you saying? With a nod toward the Solstice, this episode explores the meaning of inner as well as outer light.

“‘How you can make your partner lovable‘ doesn’t make sense,” you say. “S/he is either lovable or s/he isn’t. I’ve got nothing to do with it.” Join us for this episode of Every Day Love, as we explore a different point of view. According to this point of view, how you experience your partner depends, among other things, on your selective attention and your tendency to label or not label. It’s an important issue: You can’t love someone whom you experience as unlovable. Want to love your partner? Take responsibility for your experience.

Many people grew up feeling that love was primarily an obligation. You’re supposed to love your parents. You’re supposed to love your brother, even though he torments you. “Love as obligation” people understandably have a tough time with commitment. Love as obligation seldom feel warm and generous either to the giver or to the recipient. This episode introduces an attractive alternative — love that is an expression of inner joy and abundance. Seriously.

What sort of people make a commitment to behave more lovingly to their partner? Who cares about learning how to love with warmth and generosity. Some people do; otherwise, many more marriages would fail than already do. In our self-centered culture, the people who actively love their partner stand out. This episode of Every Day Love takes a look at who those people might be and what may have motivated them to make loving a priority in their lives. We welcome your participation in this — and every — episode

Whether we were well-loved or poorly-loved, we all learned about love when we were children. In childhood, we all learned about conditional and unconditional love, acceptance and rejection, affection and coldness, being seen and overlooked — by parents, relatives and others with whom we came in regular contact. On the basis of what we learned, we made decisions about giving and receiving love, pursuing love and staying away from it. Join us, as we talk about our early teachers about love.

What are the different feelings that can go with loving your spouse or partner? In Episode No. 9, Dr. Sanford and his wife, Joyce Wilson-Sanford explore some of the loving-partner feelings that they have experienced. Join us. Share the feelings of love that you have experienced.