COME ON IN, WE'VE GOT THE MANI-CURE FOR WHAT AILS YOU.

You've selected our mandatory all-inclusive package, and we've lined up a whole slate of activities for you, such as:

-Nutritional Evaluation and Gradual Glamification Including New Garments

-Non-optional waxing session (turtles provided)

-Our famous celery buffet, with entertainment provided by the world-famous Teachin' Ed & His Cavy Choir

-Other jokes that will only be funny once you listen to it! Shit! We did this backwards!

Find us on www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at [email protected], and find us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Semiautomagic for early episodes, exclusive preshows, and other bonus content you won't find on EVEN THE DARKEST WEB! And remember: If there's a ding, there's a sting!