Day 14  of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - From Mano Gate, North Luangwa to Kapishya Hot Spring

Run by Frankfurt Zoological, Luangwa North is inarguably one of the best Game Reserves in the world, and we were lucky to spot a herd of rare Roan Antelope up close and personal. We also saw a matriarchal herd of elephant even closer, just 30 meters from the road, browsing in the Miomba woodlands that carpet the Escarpment. There were  10 elephants in the herd, including a few youngsters still feeding on their moms. Ant Mellon driving a support vehicle didn’t see any of the elephants and got out to see what the hold up was all about, and hooted at us in annoyance for stopping on the impossibly steep escarpment, earning himself instant Dick of the Day. Ant is a big guy but he sure can leap into cars quickly, when confronted by nearby angry elephants. 

Day 12  of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - From the middle of nowhere to a Bush camp on the Luangwa River. his blog is coming to you from the east bank of the Luangwa River, instead of the west bank as per our original plan.  Sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men get thwarted by swollen rivers running too fast, too deep and with crocodiles on tap. Thwarted is a fancy way of saying all buggered up.Alas. 

Day 11 of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - From Kalovia Camp on the Luangwa River to the middle of nowhere. As mentioned in previous blogs, Zambians are quite the nicest people. And they are finding us to be a primetime novelty, better than the Kardashians.  Children come boiling out of every village in their multitudes to greet us and to cheer us on. 

Day 10 of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - The Wildlife  Camp, South Luangwa to Kalovia Bush Camp in the middle of nowhere. Apologies for the break in transmission. We’ve been travelling on Zambia’s A105  highway for 4 days now, headed for Uganda. Apparently, according to Billy, the  A105 is just like Route 66 back in the US, but just without any tar, without any traffic, no cellphone coverage, no Internet coverage, no road signs, no towns, no fuel stations, no sea views, no rural business centers like we get in Zim, no nothing.

Day 8 and 9 of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - From Chipata to the Wildlife Camp, South Luangwa National Park

Distance - 132 km

Climb -  616 m

Time - 6 and a bit hours. 

As I type, the baboon war to end all baboon wars is raging in the trees behind me. Apparently, according to the barman, a youngster has misbehaved and was now being terribly tortured by his elders, and every other baboon in the troop who wants a piece of him. I don’t know what he did wrong but it must have been real bad, because even the other little baboons are queuing to beat up on the little guy. Shame. I feel sorry for him. But the pod of hippos snoozing on the sandbank in front, don’t. They just wish he’d shut the hell up. Ditto the family of elephants trying to enjoy sundowners at the little waterhole in front of the bar, ditto the even more nervous than normal bushbuck ewe, ditto the  giraffe frowning down their long noses at the fractious apes, ditto the warthogs, and ditto the small herd of puku, which for those who don’t know, look like scruffy impala. The only animals who looked like they were enjoying the baboon wars were a troop of monkeys spectating. The only thing they were lacking were packets of popcorn. 

Day 7 of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - The Bush Camp where my death bed almost was to Chipata, a.k.a. Fort Jameson in a previous life.

Distance - 65 km

With the promise of more bad roads ahead, we risk busting it properly to the point where we have no kitchen trailer and have to survive eating road kill. But like Richard Hammond, I don’t know how to peel a squashed squirrel and plus, I’ve learnt that some dead things seen on the road, like vine snakes for example, aren’t dead, just playing possum. Leaving us with no option but to get to Chipata early so Laurie and Russ could forage spare parts to fix the trailer.

Day 5 of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - Luangwa Bridge to the Middle of Nowhere

Distance - 92 km

I read with interest in my yesterday’s blog that there were no escarpments to be seen coming out of Luangwa. What a load of crap. The only reason we couldn’t see the escarpment is because it was hidden behind a range of huge bloody mountains that we were required to ride up and over all morning. What a rude awakening. I think I will have to take what I write with a pinch of salt in future. 

Day 4 of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - Kanyemba to Luangwa Bridge

Day 4 was down on paper  as a doddle. We’d dialed distances back to allow for our first border crossing.  But because yesterday’s monster ride took it’s toll on most everyone, our doddle turned into a very slow dragged out marathon, a stop start one because a tummy bug is now running rampant through the peloton, with 4 down and others with tummies starting to rumble and mumble. Zambians now know that bears aren’t the only things that crap in the woods.

Day 2 of the Old Legs Silverback Tour - Guruve to Mashumbi Pools

Distance - 116 km

Climb - 537 m

Time - 7.38 

The first half of our ride from Guruve down into the Zambezi Valley was punctuated by some take -your breath -away downhill descents, entirely expected, and lots of viciously brutal climbs that I cannot elaborate on because a) they weren’t supposed to be there according route master Laurie Watermeyer’s briefing, and b) because there might be women and children out there reading this blog.