Everyday EQ

Hi there! This is just a quick announcement about what's next for the Everyday EQ podcast. I'll be going on a brief hiatus, returning in October with new episodes. Thank you SO much for listening and supporting the podcast over the past few months, and I hope to connect with you again when the podcast returns.

In this episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, I'm teaching you how to apply the 4 stages of emotional intelligence (Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management) to help you manage your anxiety more effectively. At the core, anxiety is an emotional reaction with a very real, accompanying neurological response. I'll discuss how you can use your emotional intelligence practice to identify your anxiety triggers and manage the underlying root issues to create a sustainable, healthy approach to anxiety management. 


00:36 - How emotional intelligence can help us solve everyday problems in our daily lives

2:49 - Applying emotional intelligence to help you manage your anxiety

3:38 - What is anxiety? 

4:16 - What your brain does during anxiety

5:49 - Looking at the emotions that drive us

6:49 - Anxiety is a symptom, it's not the root issue

8:27 - What are your personal anxiety triggers? 

9:22 - Two potential reasons you can't pinpoint your anxiety triggers

12:04 - How does your anxiety present itself?

12:50 - This is how you apply the first stage of emotional intelligence, Self-Awareness, to manage your anxiety

14:09 - Stage 2 of emotional intelligence: Self-Management and how to regulate your anxiety

18:25 - How to regulate your fear-based, anxiety-inducing response

20:30 - Pro Tip 1: You must adopt this belief if you want to manage your anxiety response

21:40 - Pro Tip 2: Here's another objection you'll have to overcome in order to manage your anxiety 

25:15 - Moving on to Stage 3 of emotional intelligence: How to apply Social Awareness to help you manage your anxiety

29:19 - And now, Stage 4 of emotional intelligence: Applying Relationship Management in an effort to manage your anxiety

31:12 - Where the fear comes from 

As always, thanks for listening! If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com.

In today's episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, I'm teaching you the final competency in emotional intelligence, relationship management. Relationship management is about using your awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to have successful interactions. It's one of my favorite components of EQ because it's the culmination of everything you've learned from the other competencies (Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation/Internal Validation, and Empathy/Social Awareness). Basically, relationship management is where you get to flex your EQ muscle and put your skills to work. So here are 5 tips to help you do just that, and master your relationship management. 

00:00 - Intro

00:41 - A quick explainer on how the components of emotional intelligence are categorized

1:35 - If you want to learn more about the other emotional intelligence competencies, check out my previous podcast episodes on Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Internal Validation, and Empathy. 

1:48 - Relationship management is the culmination of everything you've learned about emotional intelligence 

2:50 - Relationship management is where you get to take action and put your new emotional intelligence development to use

3:24 - What is relationship management?

3:40 -  First step to managing your relationships better using emotional intelligence: Be intentional 

4:22 - Pro Tip: Share your intention with others involved in the interaction

5:13 - Number 2: Know what you want emotionally

5:18 - Pro Tip: Definitely DON'T do this

5:44 - You need to know your Top 5 Emotional Needs. Figure them out by downloading my free worksheet here: https://theceqo.com/top-5-needs

7:32 - Number 3: Get your empathy ready!

8:07 - Pro Tip: Lean in on active listening

8:48 - Another Pro Tip: Try to meet others' universal emotional needs

9:53 - Number 4: Handle your triggers BEFORE they happen

10:38 - Pro Tip: Create an EQ action plan

13:41 - It's all about maintaining a feeling of command and control for yourself

14:33 - Number 5: Do a post-interaction check-in with yourself and others

14:51 - Pro Tip: An emotionally intelligent interaction can still be successful even if it's challenging. 

17:02 - Pro Tip for the Pros: If you're using this technique in a professional environment, use surveys or assessments to solicit feedback.

17:52 - This relationship management practice may be uncomfortable at first, but stick with it.

Thanks for listening! If you have any questions or comments, please reach out to me at julia [at] theceqo [dot] com.

In today's episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, it's all about your PERSPECTIVE. How they get shaped, what it means to adopt a new perspective, and, if your perspective is holding you back from achieving what you want, four steps to take to change your perspective. Enjoy!


00:00 - Intro
00:40 - How changing your perspective can benefit you
1:40 - Outline of today's episode
2:02 - What creates our perspective in the first place?
7:30 - Here's a metaphor that will illustrate the experience of changing your perspective
13:37 - The four steps to take to change your perspective
13:52 - Step 1: Develop your self-awareness around your current perspective.
18:35 - Step 2: Identify the rules that are blocking you from having the perspective you need to get what you want.
21:39 - Step 3: Write new rules.
27:26 - Step 4: Integrate the new rules. This is what actually solidifies your new perspective.
29:42 - The core components of the integration process 
30:36 - How life is after you've changed your perspective

Thanks for listening! If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com. 

In this episode of the EverydayEQ podcast, I'm sharing a personal breakthrough (eep, vulnerability) I had about external validation, and how I established more self-awareness around my ego's desire to be validated by another. 

I talk about how people and the relationships we have with them serve as mirrors, illuminating our own lower and higher selves. And I Illustrate how my unconscious emotions kept me stuck in cycles that didn't serve me. 

I hope there's something in this episode that helps you deepen your own self-awareness around how and/or why you seek validation.

*Trigger warning: Some of this content may hit close to home if you're dealing with a very similar situation.*

00:00 - Intro

2:39 - Let's begin the show

3:18 - The cost of waiting for external validation

3:51 - All relationships are mirrors that help us see more about ourselves (if we're open to recognizing this)

4:43 - Two examples of how this mirroring effect happens in relationships

6:34 - How I challenged myself to go deeper and look at what was being reflected back to me in my own relationships

7:24 - The biggest mirror of my life

7:51 - Bringing it back to the validation thing

8:36 - My process of self-reflection that helped me understand what this relationship was showing me about my own shadow qualities 

9:40 - Aaaaand here's my hangup with the external validation

10:38 - My "oh crap" breakthrough moment

10:55 - A harsh truth about narcissists

11:20 - What I can do with this new self-awareness around my attachment to external validation

11:33 - More insight into how I kept myself trapped in this cycle that didn't support me

12:40 - Internal validation is stronger than external validation

13:38 - You can become addicted to external validation

15:15 - Basically it comes down to learning how to TRUST YOURSELF 

Thanks for listening! Please share, rate, and leave a review if you're into it. And you can always reach out to me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com. 

In this episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, I nerd out on neurodiversity and emotional intelligence with my childhood friend, Samantha Gergans, who now has an impressive resume that includes School Design Director at City Year, a Master of Arts in Teaching in Elementary Education, AND an M.A. in Human Development and Psychology in Education. We dive deep into social emotional learning and emotional intelligence competencies, and their limitations when it comes to serving a diverse student and user base. And, at the end, Samantha offers AMAZING insights into how we can develop more inclusive competencies when it comes to social emotional education. 

00:00 - Intro

00:59 - Get to know my guest, Samantha Gergans

3:10 - Discussing Samantha's focus on the integration of social, emotional, and academic development as School Design Director at Compass Academy + some background about City Year 

5:17 - Learning more about Compass Academy's success in social emotional development.

6:43 - What social emotional learning looks like in action at this school.

9:00 - The 6 social emotional learning competencies at Compass Academy: Advocacy, Communication, Goal Navigation, Growth Mindset, Metacognition, Self-Awareness

11:16 - Talking about national social emotional learning (SEL) competencies as defined by The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning, and where these competencies fall short of supporting neurodiverse students

12:21 - Drawing parallels between SEL competencies and emotional intelligence competencies

12:51 - Are these SEL competencies inclusive enough? Discussing strengths and weaknesses of the SEL competencies when it comes to multilanguage and diverse learners.

14:18 - Pointing out the problematic and non-inclusive language of SEL competencies

15:57 - Samantha shares her personal experience as a neurodiverse individual when encountering the ableist nature of EQ and SEL competencies, and offers more inclusive alternatives.

17:09 - And what about students with physical disabilities? 

17:59 - Samantha's take on how we can develop more inclusive SEL competencies and standards (hint: It involves empathy, a component of emotional intelligence).

21:37 - The point of SEL and emotional intelligence is to develop and maintain resilience. 

22:33 - The five elements of resilience 

ABOUT SAMANTHA GERGANS:
Samantha Gergans (she/they/them, B.A. Psychology - Lewis & Clark College, M.A.T. Elementary Education - National-Louis University, M.A. Human Development and Psychology in Education - UCLA) spent 6 years as an instructional coach and designer with City Year Los Angeles, having reconnected with the organization after her own corps year with City Year Chicago (FY07). She went on to complete a teaching residency with Chicago's Academy for Urban School Leadership, teach 4th and 5th grade in Chicago Public Schools, and land in LA to conduct educational research at UCLA. Across these experiences, Samantha always ended up at the same conclusion: students' academic well-being hinges on the design of learning environments and experiences that meet the needs of the whole person - students, teachers, AmeriCorps Members, parents, and so on. Whomever the educational stakeholder, they deserve and need to feel safe, seen, and supported - and this might be achieved through integrative, inclusive, and intentional designs and practices. Connect with Samantha on Instagram at @halcyonsam, and for more about City Year, visit cityyear.org.

In today's episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, I explain EMPATHY. Empathy is the next EQ component in my series on the elements of emotional intelligence, and is one of the most important overall. Not only do I explain what empathy is and why it is mission-critical in life, but I'm also giving you six ways to develop your empathy—six! You got no excuses not to be empathetic, now. :) Definitely stay to the end for number six. It's my fave and the most effective.
____

00:00 - Intro

00:47 - Kicking things off with another component of emotional intelligence (and it's a big one): EMPATHY

1:16 - What I'm covering in today's episode: What empathy is and how to develop your empathy.

1:24 - What empathy entails and why it's a must-have skill

2:32 - Empathy will make you a smarter human.  

3:11- Here are 6 ways you can develop your empathy and understand others' emotions.

3:46 - Number One: Assessments 

5:42 - Number Two: Practice active listening

8:23 - Number Three: Ask clarifying questions

9:18 - Number Four: Observe body language

12:24 - Number Five (when you can't do numbers 1-4): Apply universal emotional needs 

14:18 - Number Six: My quick-and-dirty method to being more empathetic (my favorite and the most effective, in my opinion)

16:29 - What empathy is NOT

Thanks so much for tuning in! As always, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com.

In this episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, I'm pumped to chat with Chris Belloso, entrepreneur and host of The Beautiful Struggle Podcast. Chris' story is one of perseverance, self-direction, and liberation. Listen in on our conversation as Chris shares how he didn't let perfectionism stop him from "failing" his way forward and finding his purpose of creating generational wealth for his family and community. We also talk about why finding your WHY is CRITICAL, how to properly invest in yourself, and the two BIG things Chris had to overcome in order to get on his purpose path (listen up: You might be dealing with these two challenges yourself).

For more from Chris and to check out his podcast, you can check him out on Instagram @ChrisBelloso and @beautifulstrugglepodcast.

00:00 - Introducing my guest, Chris Belloso, host of The Beautiful Struggle Podcast

1:20 - How Chris got inspired to start his entrepreneurial journey

4:38 - The value of exploring, not knowing exactly where you're going, and "failing" 

6:10 - What entrepreneurship really means to Chris

6:48 - Exploring entrepreneurship in this way allowed Chris to find his purpose

7:30 - What's at the core of Chris' purpose-onion?

8:43 - We all have a "generational curse" to break in our own lives and it can be challenging to pave our own way.

9:40 - Here's how Chris did it (and what it felt like for him!)

11:47 - I weigh in on how emotional intelligence comes into play when you start to chase down your dream life.

11:38 - How Chris started his Beautiful Struggle Podcast

15:40 - Another example of how Chris didn't let perfectionism or fear stop him

16:10 - The biggest lesson that Chris learned from launching his podcast

18:03 - It's important to know the right way to invest in yourself

18:50 - Chris is currently investing in his mental health and self-care

19:40 - Chris had to shift his mindset to get to this point where he can balance his entrepreneurial drive with self-care.

21:59 - The new way of entrepreneur-ing.

22:22 - Chris' advice? Be a triple threat in your life.

23:10 - This positions you to create a whole, fulfilling, purposeful, satisfying life.

24:30 - Because who wants to be lonely at the top? No, thanks.

25:27 - You never know where this path will take you, and you can't anticipate the good stuff that will show up. 

26:31 - How Chris managed his fear and moved forward anyway

28:41 - Self-knowing (aka, self-awareness) + self-trust + faith = the fear-busting formula

29:19 - Preparation leads to confidence, which leads to overcoming fear and showing up as your best self.

30:13 - And then you get to "collect the evidence," as I say, that you CAN do this and you ARE worthy and will succeed and so on.

31:31 - Learning how to be more confident is like strengthening a muscle. 

31:41 - Two MAJOR lessons Chris has experienced from his own journey and challenges that he sees in his community: 1) Getting out of unsupportive environments AND 2) Educating yourself past survival mentality

34:32 - Being self-motivated and internally validated is key.

35:29 - For Chris, it's about figuring out what his WHY is and always aligning with that.

36:10 - Use this WHY to help you make the RIGHT decisions for you. Use it for everything!

37:00 - Chris' contact info

Thanks to Chris for stopping by and dropping knowledge! If you have any questions, contact me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com. Thanks for listening!

In this episode of Everyday EQ, I review the third component of emotional intelligence, which I call internal validation. This is my adaptation of Daniel Goleman's "intrinsic motivation," so I explain the difference and why I've found validation to be a more powerful influencer of behavior. I break down the different types of internal validation and external validation, and I even give you an exercise to help you assess whether you're just doing something to get external validation. Life-changing stuff, here. 

00:30 - I label this component of emotional intelligence as Internal Validation instead of Daniel Goleman's "intrinsic motivation."

1:01 - First, let's define intrinsic motivation 

1:25 - Now, on to why I see validation as more influential when it comes to your emotional intelligence

3:22 - An example of making money from internal validation vs for external validation

5:58 - Breaking down the difference between internal validation vs external validation

6:16 - Internal validation feels like...

7:08 - And external validation be like...

7:55 - A sidebar on trying to prove yourself

8:49 - Back to listing other forms of external validation

11:05 - How to stay internally validated 

11:24 - Start with your system for success, using your top 5 emotional needs. ***If you don't know your top 5 emotional needs, you can discover them with this free worksheet that you can DOWNLOAD HERE https://theceqo.com/top-5-needs (or grab it from my bio link on Instagram @justjfc).***

12:44 - Creating a life that's aligned will take effort, not gonna lie. #worthit

13:20 - But, even with its challenges, creating an authentic life will FEEL better. 

14:49 - How internal validation can help you leverage your emotions so you are doing things for the right reasons

14:49 - An alignment check exercise that will help you figure out whether you're saying yes to something bc of external validation or internal validation

15:57 - A word of caution about the lifespan of external validation

16:33 - Ok, on to the actual exercise

17:20 - Real-life example time!

20:41 - What to do if only a few of your needs are satisfied AND WHAT NOT TO DO

21:31 - This emotional intelligence 411 in the "NOT SATISFIED" column will show you where you might default into chasing external validation. How's that for some newfound self-awareness?! 

22:28 - Here's how it would go down in this dating scenario if you were INTERNALLY validated instead.

23:23 - And finally, how to make sure you're setting ALIGNED goals that are truly based on internal validation

As always, if you have questions about emotional intelligence or anything that you heard on this episode, please reach out to me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com. Thanks for listening! 

In this episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, I chat with Aryan Rashed, friend and owner of Tremble Pilates, my all-time fave workout studio in Miami. Not only do we talk about how the Tremble workout will change your life (hear my story about what it did for me), but Aryan's astute approach to leadership and building culture is full of insights we can all use. Listen in as she shares what it takes to develop true leadership skills, and how to develop a trusted brand that creates meaning and client loyalty. This episode is for entrepreneurs, leaders, and anyone who wants to know what it takes to go from good to great. 

About Aryan Rashed:
With a strong passion for the fitness and wellness industry, Aryan is the owner of Tremble Pilates. Aryan’s clients range from beginners to professional athletes and celebrities. Tremble fuses principles of Pilates, balance, flexibility, strength, core, circuit, and strength training. Aryan created her own adaptive fitness program currently taught at Jackson Memorial Hospital and the Miami VA and works with the Sabrina Cohen Foundation to implement training for the paralysis community and beyond. Aryan is also an attorney, barred in Florida and Washington DC, received her Master’s from Stanford University, earned her BA from UC Berkeley, worked at the Women and Public Policy Program at Harvard University, has been a featured expert on various fitness and wellness forums, and currently serves as an ambassador for Lululemon South Miami.

Follow Tremble on Instagram @makeittremble_ and makeittremble.com. 

*This episode was recorded in April 2021 and COVID restrictions have since been updated. Visit Tremble's website for the most up-to-date studio info.*

1:04 - Let's get into Aryan's rapid-fire achievements and how she and her team turned COVID into an opportunity.

3:49 - Integrity drove Aryan's client-focused decisions.

4:20 - The importance of developing trust with your client, and creating a brand that means something to them. 

5:32 - How Aryan made the transition from law to fitness entrepreneur.

6:00 - Fitness provided Aryan a positive outlet that went way beyond the superficial to the emotional. That's what she invested in when starting her business.

7:56 - Aryan's initial vision wasn't what it is today.

8:17 - The sweet taste of impact

8:33 - Aryan had to unlearn some things to switch from a law mindset to a CEO mindset.

10:29 - That feeling when you know you've created something special...

12:26 - Does leading a purposeful business have the same feel-good effect for my guest as fitness itself? 

12:53 - Aryan gets real about what it takes to build a successful brand and culture.

13:33 - Developing strong leadership skills takes practice and knowing people. 

14:30 - Here's what worked for Aryan when it came to developing her own leadership skills.

15:18 - Which brings us back to... wait for it... EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. If you haven't figured it out yet, Aryan is a perfect example of an emotionally intelligent leader.

16:21 - Now, let's talk about this life-changing, redefine-what-you're-made-of workout.

20:36 - This takes the Tremble experience from good from great.

23:22 - I share a personal story about a major mindset transformation I experienced at Tremble.

25:12 - The massively positive effects one person's elevated dedication can have on the entire group.

26:43 - On negative self-talk and turning CAN'Ts into CANs

28:36 - After already achieving so much amazingness, what's next for Aryan and the Tremble tribe?

THANK YOU to Aryan for sharing her wisdom, and to you for listening!  Questions? Email me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com.