Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

There are times in our lives when big moments are on the calendar, whether it is holidays, a vacation, or even a wedding. However, they can be super stressful! Here is how I use frontload planning to create minimalism and intention during special times. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was talking to a friend about how I plan my December and she was shocked.  Not because I was doing it, I am a planner after all, but because I’ve never shared how I do it.   

 

It starts at the beginning of Q4.  That’s October 1st as I am laying out my responsibilities for the rest of the year.  I like to take a quarterly approach.  What I do is I front load Q4 into October and the first two weeks of November.  Why, you might ask … well, here it goes.  

 

I love the holidays.  I love the twinkle lights.  I love the merriment.  I love the gatherings of friends.  I love wrapping presents.  I also love order.  I love calm.  Overwhelm is my kryptonite.  I love getting gifts in the mail to friends and family that I won’t see during the holidays the first week-ish of December.  I also love ordering my holiday cards early and then addressing them and getting them in the mail early in December.  Usually I watch a Christmas movie and take my time.  But it feels so good to me to have 2 big projects checked off the list early, the mailed gifts at the post office and holiday cards in the mail.  We all know what the post office feels like leading up to Christmas, so I try to avoid that.

 

What minimalist December allows me to do, is have some calm in what is otherwise a super busy month, by saying no to almost everything that doesn’t bring me holiday cheer.  I don’t want January to roll around and December to have been a stressful blur.  Believe me, I’ve been there.  

 

Now, I still have some responsibilities, for example, this podcast.  But even this podcast brings me happiness and as much as I want the content to be good and thoughtful for you, it’s also for me.  It reminds me how I want to show up as the best version of myself.  We’re all riding the happiness train together - and some days are a little bumpy.  So this December, I have a special treat. We're shaking it up a bit, more on that later in the week, on the November 30th episode.    

 

I also use some time in December to reflect on the year and plan for next year.  My kids are still in school during the day, so I have some time and in December it’s really important to me that I am intentional about reflecting and planning for the next year. 

 

So, taking advice from Dr. Santo’s over at Yale, I’m savoring all the moments I can this month.  

 

Until next time. Remember, Kindness is Contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Hey Friend, today is a behind the scenes episode on how my little family spent the Thanksgiving holiday.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and I’m curious, how did everyone in the U.S. survive Thanksgiving? Did anyone chuck cranberry sauce at the person across the table? 

 

Our little family of four spent time with my mom at a condo by the beach.  It’s not warm.  It’s actually quite chilly here, but the waves look just as calming whether it’s 90 degrees or 40 degrees. And the sun is out shining bright, which always gives us the illusion that it’s warmer than it really is. 

 

Since I grew up in a big family - and by big, I mean, my mom has 6 sisters and 10 brothers and I have over 100 cousins.  It’s always a full house when some or all of us gather together.  Most of my mom’s family lives in Minnesota, where I grew up.  Since moving to Washington DC, we don’t travel home for every single holiday and some quiet time is a nice reprieve. 

 

If you’ve hung around this show for any time, you know I love twinkle lights.  So we snuck out on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving to see a holiday light display.  Let me tell you, it was pure magic!

 

Thanksgiving was spent watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, The Westminster Dog Show and of course, a little football for my husband.  We wrapped up the day with a board game and pumpkin pie, of course.  Although I was the only one wearing my Christmas jammies, I didn’t care, it felt perfect.  

 

It really is a time to slow down.  As I’ve mentioned this past month, I’m really focused on being intentional and savoring the moments.  Honestly, it felt so much easier to be present when we were all stuck in a tiny apartment with nowhere to hide.  

 

So, how did you spend the holiday?  Was it as you planned?  Was there anything surprising?  I’d love for you to share with us over on social, tag us in your stories or slide into our DMs.  We’re here.  

 

Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

With Thanksgiving, the holiday of gratitude, just around the corner, I decided to investigate how it affects our happiness. Today, we round out this mini-series with some thoughts on gratitude and how to practice it. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and there are hundreds, likely thousands, of articles written on gratitude and its benefits. They all have a bunch of different theories on how to bring the most out of the day, but one shining moment should shine through because it is what the holiday is all about, gratitude! But how does one practice it? Here are a few quick ideas:

 

Everyone can say one thing they are thankful for before dinner

You can write a thank you note to someone

You can keep a gratitude journal for the week of Thanksgiving (and beyond)

You can take just five minutes and think of all the things you are grateful for

 

This one is my favorite because I can do it at any time, and it can be literally anything, such as:

 

Getting to sleep an extra hour

Being able to take the time to make a yummy dinner for your family

A warm house filled with your favorite things

A healthy, working body that allows you to celebrate the holiday

Even just some pumpkin pie!

 

For me, I am super grateful to all my podcast listeners who tune in even on the holiday to get my 2-minute podcast! Whatever it is you are thankful for, bring it to the forefront of your mind, let it marinate, and maybe even share it with others.

 

For all my listeners who enjoy Thanksgiving, I wish you a joyous day filled with gratitude. My little family of four will be celebrating together with turkey and all the sides - my favorite part is playing board games, watching the Thanksgiving Day parade on TV, and hopefully, staying in our jammies all day.

 

For us, today is a day to reflect on what we have and where we’ve come and to be present with one another without a lot of the typical distractions. Wherever you are today, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or today is just a regular day. I wish you gratitude and appreciation because the science is clear, it’s the gateway to happiness.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

With Thanksgiving, the holiday of gratitude, just around the corner, I decided to investigate how it affects our happiness. Today, we dive into the practice of gratitude on this thankful holiday. Tune in to learn some neat tricks!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today we are continuing with our conservation on Thanksgiving theories by diving into gratitude. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, tangible or intangible. You may have thought it was cheesy when you were a kid to sit around the Thanksgiving table and share something you were grateful for, but the science behind this ritual is outstanding. An article from Harvard Medical School reported two different studies that the practice of gratitude resulted in greater happiness and optimism as well as improved physical and mental health.

 

Sometimes, it can be hard to be grateful during the holidays. Your house is packed with people, the dishes are piling up, and the TV is blaring. It can be loud, stressful, annoying, and simply too much at times.

 

However you slice that metaphorical pie, practicing gratitude is bound to improve your Thanksgiving. Let’s take a moment to alter our mindset to a more grateful framework. For example, yes, your house is packed with people, but you are blessed with many people whom you love and who love you. Yes, the dishes are piling up, but you were able to provide yummy food that fills the bellies of those you care about. Yes, the TV is blaring 24/7, but those watching it are creating beautiful memories and fostering stronger bonds with one another.

 

While the chaos can be a lot, a simple shift in perception framing will make you much happier and make it easy to practice those gratitude traditions.

 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and YES, I will have an episode. So, while you are basting that turkey or mashing the potatoes, make sure to tune in to hear some easy tips on practicing gratitude!

 

Until then, remember kindness is contagious. Give someone something to be grateful for this Thanksgiving by doing something kind.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

With Thanksgiving, the holiday of gratitude, just around the corner, I decided to investigate how it affects our happiness. Today, we investigate the positives and negatives of social connections at Thanksgiving. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and one of the biggest aspects of Thanksgiving is spending time with family and friends. On Everyday Happiness, I cannot even count how often I have spoken about the importance of social connection. Still, as a quick reminder, studies have shown that building, maintaining, and celebrating our bonds in life are crucial to our happiness.

 

Yes, building bonds and celebrating the little moments together is vital to establishing and maintaining healthy relationships, but what about those whom you really just want to chuck some cranberry sauce at?

 

While it may seem unfortunate, Thanksgiving often leads to a family member or two whom you don’t particularly adore spending copious amounts of time in your personal space. It could be an overbearing mother-in-law, an uncle who has told the same war story every holiday for a decade, or a sibling who knows how to needle you just the right way. When this happens, it can be easy to let the stress build, along with your blood pressure, forcing you to think that this holiday may not be something worth being thankful for.

 

However, I challenge you to adjust your mindset. Rather than falling victim to annoyance or stress, try this instead. Before that person arrives, take a moment to think of a positive personality trait of theirs or a moment you were grateful to them. Then, whenever they push your buttons, bring that idea back up and hold it in your mind.

 

For example, for your overbearing mother-in-law, think of how she brought your beloved spouse into the world and raised them to be the person you love. For your chatty uncle telling the same war story again, think of how proud of them you are for serving their country. For that annoying sibling, think of your favorite childhood memory, like when you built a fort or shared a touching moment. 

 

So, the next time you feel like hurling some cranberry sauce into their face, think of these precious moments and be grateful that they happened. However, if that still doesn’t work, maybe try a deep breath and exit the conversation.

 

Tomorrow, we will be discussing my second theory of Thanksgiving happiness, so make sure to tune in! Until then, remember kindness is contagious. Give someone something to be grateful for this Thanksgiving by doing something kind. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

With Thanksgiving, the holiday of gratitude, just around the corner, I decided to investigate how it affects our happiness. Check out the intro now!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and can you believe that Halloween is over! While dozens of glittering Christmas items now line the shelves at nearly every major store in the U.S., there is still one more colossal holiday that comes first, Thanksgiving.

 

Did you know that Turkey wasn’t on the menu on the first Thanksgiving? Venison, duck, goose, oysters, lobster, eel, and fish were likely served alongside pumpkins and cranberries (but not pumpkin pie or cranberry sauce!). Um, while that is great and all…I must have pumpkin pie with whipped cream!

 

Thanksgiving is a tumultuous time; relatives arrive en masse, the shopping list never seems to end, and there are only a few short days to get everything prepared and in order.

 

However, as the literal holiday of gratitude, one would think it would be all sunshine and roses. In all reality, Thanksgiving can hit us with a variety of emotions while we foster social connections and practice our gratitude techniques. Over the next few episodes, I will share with you my theories behind Thanksgiving happiness, how to combat the more prickly emotions that could arise, and a few of my favorite things to be thankful for this holiday.

 

Until then, remember kindness is contagious. Give someone something to be grateful for this Thanksgiving by doing something kind.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Today I chatted with my friend Sara Rennie about how she defines happiness - and what happiness really means to her. It’s a great perspective, we even get into control.  I can’t wait for you to tune in. 

 

Transcript:

 

Katie:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness, where we create lasting happiness in about 2 minutes a day through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.

 

I'm your host, Katie Jefcoat, and today I'm with my friend Sara Rennie, and I'm asking her how she defines happiness.

 

Hi Sara, welcome to the show.

 

Sara:

Hi Katie, thanks for having me with you today.

 

Katie: 

Well, I'm excited to hear how you define happiness?

 

Sara:

Well, first and foremost, the rule that I go by is that I am the only person who can define happiness and bring happiness into my life.

 

So I don't put that responsibility on anybody but me. And I think I define happiness as finding peace within myself and the world around me.

 

Katie: 

Oh, I love that. And you know what? You're so right.

Because how many times do we talk to our kids or even a girlfriend that's having a problem or something and she's like, they're making me so mad, or they're this or they're that.

 

And we forget that we're in charge of our own emotions, even if it sucks, we get to be in charge of that, right?

 

Sara: 

Yes, absolutely.

So it's all about our reactions to what's happening around us. And so I think that when we realize that, that really puts a lot of control back in our hands. It is difficult, though, to remember that in times of crisis.

 

Katie: 

It really is. And if you're someone like me or like Sara that likes to have that control, likes to have those buckets, those lanes with guardrails, this is going to blow your mind. Such a great way to look at happiness.

 

So thank you, Sarah, for sharing your wisdom.

 

And tune in tomorrow for more episodes of Everyday Happiness. And remember, kindness is contagious. So go out there and spread some kindness in the world today.

 

About Sara: 

Sara is a Virginia native and now lives in Williamsburg, VA.  After nearly 20 years in medical office administration, Sara chose to go back to school for massage therapy in Richmond.  With her years of working with pain management healthcare practitioners, she has experience working with and understanding of many conditions which create acute and chronic pain and immobility to include those receiving active treatment for cancer and those whose lives have been affected by cancer. 

 

In addition to private practice, she is an instructor and program coordinator for the Massage Therapy program at Brightpoint Community College.  She has practiced for over 18 years and has enjoyed working with a variety of clients who strive to integrate non-invasive, non-pharmacologic approaches to their health and wellness.

 

You can find Sara at Srennielmt.massagetherapy.com 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Reflecting on how holiday traditions can make us happy. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and holiday traditions are so fun, right?  Today, I’m curious what your holiday traditions are.  I love learning what people do, what is fun and how they bring joy into the holidays.  Traditions are hopeful, they bring us happiness and it’s fun to have something to look forward to, that makes you happy.  

 

Last year in my membership community I asked this question and the answers varied from cutting down the christmas tree to being mindful and remembering the sentiment around the season and how it should last all year long.  

 

For us, we have lots of traditions.  Going to Christmas Eve church and then looking at Christmas lights around town is always so fun for us.  

 

We also have a tradition of gingerbread house decorating with our dear friends Marcela and Emelina.  We’ve been doing this with the kids for almost 10 years.  

 

I’m obsessed with matching Christmas jammies, so that has to be a tradition at this point.  Although, the children are less excited as they used to be, especially now that I have a high schooler, but you know what - they do it with little to no fussing because they know how happy it makes me.  

 

Oh, also, when I decorate the tree, I play Kenny Rogers and Alabama holiday albums, like my mom did.  

 

I stole a tradition from my sister, the wrapping paper under the tree on Christmas morning always has Santa on it.  He’s so clever, his elves wrap my sister’s presents with Santa paper too.   

 

I think it’s so fun to hear what traditions other families have, so please, share!!  We need the ideas and you might just inspire someone else to start a new tradition. 

 

Share on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie.   Until next time. 

 

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Opening presents at the holidays is a fun tradition that many of us look forward to, but does more stuff actually make us happier? Tune in to see my approach to holiday gift giving.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and as the holidays approach, I’m thinking a lot about stuff, both gift giving and the kids holiday wish lists.  

 

The science indicates that the more we want the less life satisfaction we will experience. The less happy we will be.   But the thing is, we want this stuff and we think the “nice” thing, whatever it is, fill in the blank, will make us happier.  If we didn’t think that we wouldn’t buy it.  Yet, the science (Nickerson Et Al. (2003)) says that’s a total trick and stuff won’t actually make us happier.     

 

As we enter the holiday season I invite you to think about the stuff you are purchasing and ask yourself if this is really what you want and what you want to give. It feels good to give someone a nice thing, and they may be happy in the moment, but the research indicates that it won’t last and then, they are left with this thing. 

 

Another way to think about the holiday season is the gift of time, spending time with the people you love.  Also, using experiences as gifts instead of things.  For example, we just saw an advertisement for a season pass to an amusement park near us.  My little boy loves roller coasters and he wants to go to this particular amusement park more often.  So, we are going to purchase an annual pass during this holiday sale, something we might have purchased anyway next Spring, but we saw the same and so we wrapped it up for him.  This is an experience we can do as a family.  This is something we know the kids will enjoy and we aren’t adding more stuff into our home, that, frankly, I’ll have to dust. 

 

And let’s not forget, all these toys won’t actually make our kids happier in the long run either. It’s never about the stuff.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bought the one toy my son just had to have, only for it to be amazing for a week and then never played with again.   

 

Now, a confession.  I love the tradition of opening a lot of presents, it brings me joy - it really does make me happy for this moment.  I think about it.  We have traditions around when we open presents.  The whole experience brings me so much joy.  So, I wrap a lot of little presents that don’t even matter, so we have that experience.  Everything from a new toothbrush, socks, a flashlight, these experiences I mentioned are on a piece of paper and wrapped in a box.  So we can still get that joy in the experience of unwrapping gifts while not focusing on the materialistic part of gifts that can waste money and don’t bring us the level of happiness that we expect for the amount of money we just spent. 

 

I’m curious, what is your holiday gift giving strategy?  Connect with us @everydayhappinesswithkatie over on social and let’s have a conversation. 

 

References include:  Nickerson et al. (2003). Zeroing on the Dark Side of the American Dream: A Closer Look at the Negative Consequences of the Goal for Financial Success. Psychological Science, 14, 531-536.

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Do you want to get high on gratitude? Tune into this Every Happiness podcast episode to learn how!    

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and what we know is people who make gratitude a habit tend to have a sense they have fulfilling lives.  So one of the best ways to make gratitude a habit, to activate this gratitude high, is to practice gratitude for the little things. Instead of waiting for a big thing or a special moment, it’s about recognizing the little things. 

 

Now, a lot of us will think we are grateful people.  We practice gratitude all day long.  But it turns out, keeping a gratitude journal, keeping yourself honest, is really the best way.  And there is a theory that journaling also increases happiness, so this is a win-win. But, it has to work for you.  So if journaling is not your thing, that’s ok, maybe it’s writing gratitude on pieces of paper and putting them in a gratitude jar.  Maybe it’s looking in the mirror and saying your gratitude to yourself.  Whatever works for you.  

 

If you do decide to use a gratitude journal, you can jot down when you notice small acts of kindness shown to you by others.  This helps us appreciate the little things, the moments and not material things. 

 

The next time you are writing your gratitude, I invite you to smile while you are writing in your journal.  Studies show that smiling can change the way you feel.  Turning up the corners of your mouth while you are writing will increase the benefits of this practice.  

 

What we know is that activating gratitude starts with the little things and if we can feel gratitude for the people and the places and the experiences, over the things we have, we can activate these emotions that help us feel happy.  

 

Join the conversation over on Instagram at the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #EverydayHappinessWithKatie  

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/