Evolve with Ella

A lot of people can't take themselves seriously enough to reach their full potential, so this episode I analysed self belief and how to find it.

I realised I was getting in my own way of achieving what I wanted to because I was doubting my abilities and feeling scared to try, or doing projects without my full effort and care.

Discussing this topic I realised how its a continuous cycle, you have to find self belief to act, and when you act you'll create something that gives you more self belief to improve what happens when you act and so on.

Sometimes you have to start before you're ready to find evidence of why you should believe in yourself.

To be convincing and create to a high standard you have to have convinced yourself. Set high expectations and you'll act to fulfil them, focus on doubt and you will find evidence for it.

Its natural the things you care about the most are the ones you'll feel the most fear in for trying, but the risk of not trying is bigger than the risk of mistakes or criticism if you change how you value them.

At the end I go through lists of protective factors that increase your sense of self belief and risk factors that promote self doubt because its really beneficial to review your life and reflect on where you're being supported or criticised.

Once you unpack what you're scared of, what the risks of trying vs not trying are, and decide to care about your efforts and put your all into whatever it is, everything will flourish and overtime you'll reach the position you always wanted, whether its in your career or relationships or hobbies or health

Running has become a massive part of my life and that's crazy because I never planned on being a runner! I didn't think I was made for it. But here I am a year in, loving it so much and so glad that I gave it a shot because once you get started it gets so much easier. It has such a positive mental, social and physical impact on yourself that I wish more people felt less intimidated by it! So this ep I breakdown how I got started and tips for making it easier and more enjoyable

Do you fill your day with outcome focused tasks and goals? Because this is a great recipe to make life feel like it's speeding by you. To produce high quality work with a high efficiency you need a variety of tasks in your day. Ones that are also mindful or creative or energetic or social. It's an easy trap to fall into basing your self worth off of your productivity levels, and it can be hard to change. Maybe it's actually about changing what you view as being productive? If a slow task that isn't outcome focused improves your work and progress in another areas, isn't that still productive?

The secret to enjoying your life and feeling the satisfaction of your achievement is creating time for connection and being present!

Welcome to my first filmed podcast episode! Find my channel youtube.com/@3lla.Violet if you'd rather watch this episode as I recorded the ep and then added in clips.

Solo travel is a great way to discover more about yourself, build your confidence and strengthen your ability to be independent. You can never predict the experiences you’re going to have or the people you’re going to meet. 

We get trapped in our every day bubble and comfort zone, and often forget the magic of going somewhere new and meeting people and seeing places and having experiences that make you feel alive and excited to do things, and work out for you in ways you didn’t predict.

Solo travel teaches you a lot that you can implement in your every day. How to talk to strangers and know what you enjoy doing and do it for yourself, provide for yourself, disciplined and organised. How to explore and have fun while doing it, how to feel loneliness and boredom and how that can be good for you. Self regulation, self resilience and decreased co dependent which is great for your everyday life and relationships. 

In my case it shows a lot of growth, as the first times alone are quite lonely and isolated, and as my confidence and mental health improved, so did the fun I had on the trips. And now I’m excited to go on another solo trip as I think my connection to others and mental health has improved even more so that now I'm excited to meet others and connect.

I found a cure for my inability to plan 2026 and learnt how to start making progress, so I hope this helps you. It's important to start! No matter how far in we are, you'll only waste more time by thinking it's too late. I talk about how:

• Too much pressure on yourself causes you to stop making progress
• Loss aversion: fear of loss is bigger than the potential predicted wins
• Emotion focused vs problem focused coping mechanisms 
• Choosing the latter, and finding your starting point and direction
• Direction: where do you want to end up 
• Starting point, work backwards from where you want to be and figure out what you need to action right now, and forget the rest
• You can’t comprehend all the success you could get, so if you only take steps you can comprehend, you’ll only get success you can comprehend, which is smaller
• You’ll get further by moving and trying even if there’s dead ends than not moving at all. Its like a maze, you’ll either stay at the beginning or eventually move out
• Trying and failing is always going to be worth more than not trying at all
• Your year’s path isn’t some kind of mystery that’s being unfairly hidden from you, you have to move to discover it, and you’re actually creating it as you go
• Your year isn’t in the future it’s now so make sure to balance discipline with fun
• The year can throw unexpected events at you, positive and negative. Pause, process, reassess and progress 

If you've had damaging friendships and relationships in the past, this episode will hopefully help you breakdown an element that can have a lot of influence on your conversations and situations with the people in your life that you really care about.

Your anxieties about a current relationship can cause issues when you're thinking about negative past experiences and using your outdated toolkit (such as communication and coping mechanisms) that isn't actually needed in this present situation.

It's important to start rewiring your brain to act with trust and feel safe, so you can fully appreciate the new, healthy connection you have, without bringing your past learned behaviours into it.

Once you move away from fear and anxiety you'll change to a new energy of trust, confidence and love, that will generate more positive outcomes and stronger relationships, and attract situations that match the new energy vs the old.

Your old toolkit was needed in the past to keep you safe and deal with the toxicity of the negative relationship, but we need to build a new one so that we can attract and keep healthy, positive connections.

You're more than capable of rewiring your brain and any effort to change will have a positive impact!

I wanted to reflect on 10 lessons I learned this year, because it was honestly my biggest year in terms of growth and success,

1 Do things that scare you 

2 Life gets boring if you don’t put effort into it 

3 Invest and commit to things

4 Be spontaneous 

5 Life is fragile and changeable yet

6 There are people there who will support you and it’s vital you find them 

7 Good things take time 

8 Alone time is good but quality time with others is just as valuable 

9 You can do things that you think you can’t do 

10 Believe that things do get better 

Welcome to the last episode I recorded for 2025! Happy New Year! I hope you’re feeling excited and inspired going into this next chapter. Reflection is powerful! I'm looking forward to using this knowledge I gained to grow further in 2026

Tell me I'm not the only one struggling with comparison recently. It's funny how it can sneak up on you and you don't realise you've dropped the ball on you positive self talk, until all the negative thoughts culminate in a breakdown!

This episode I talk about the effect comparison has on your self worth, and the importance of focussing on where you are/where you're going and the progress you've made because the bar constantly feels like it's raising if you pursue growth..

I talk about my journey with progress in my life and feeling like a beginner, and my avoidance of opening up because I don't want to appear negative. How I have people tell me about the way they perceive me eg that im strong and I have to be honest and say I feel the weakest I ever have.

It's okay if you need support when you feel vulnerable in your efforts and don't feel the success yet. Even if you feel insecure about what you're doing please keep at it, but if its not what you want to be doing, restart, change what's in your control,. People will judge you all day every day and if you listen to it you're paying the price of losing the life you could have had. It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing if you feel fulfilled and satisfied by your projects.

It's also okay if you do all the positive self talk and still feel like sht, its a process. Use your journal to rewire your thoughts for how you perceive your efforts and those around you. Gratitude and reflection is a great way to combat comparison, as well cultivating feeling like you have enough in the now before you move the goalposts again, so you're not in a lacking mindset. Telling someone that you're comparing yourself for them can give them a chance to open up and show you you're putting them on a pedestal.

If you focus on what you dont have, you'll attract negativity and totally limit yourself instead of what you're achieving channelling your energy into the future. Practise supporting yourself and others, valuing their achievements as well as yours, and as someone wise told me, valuing everyone as a collaborator rather than a competitor.

I started today's episode with a recount of a situation that made me feel like a complete beginner, fearful of judgment in public and all that.

It inspired me to make this and discuss the influence that fear of perception and judgement can have on us. How its easier to have the mindset that mistakes are part of the process and most of the time the worst case scenario you imagine is more than survivable. And most of the time you don't have any proof that someone is judging you so it's only a disservice to yourself to stress about what they're thinking.

Starting something new is hard because you have to step outside of your comfort zone but it's great because then your comfort zone expands, and it's okay if you need a bit of support in expanding it. What counts is that you're valuing yourself and your life enough to start something new and value the growth that you can get from it. The only way you'll get to where you want to be is by starting.

Sick of your days feeling busy and stressful? The solution isn't doing less, but creating more moments where you can relax and slow down. If you give yourself the chance to recharge and reset through introducing activities into your day that are more intentional, you'll be able to reduce your stress levels and have more clarity, attention and focus in the rest of your schedule. It's important to let yourself feel the stress, acknowledge it and then work on it rather than pushing it aside. Activities that help you be more present combat stress directly, especially when it is worry about the past or future.

I cover:

• having a slow morning and night routine
• warm showers
• eating regularly and avoiding fasted cardio
• non-screen activities
• no music walks
• yoga and stretching
• journalling
• movement for regulation
• minimising notifications and multitasking