Excuses: How to Quickly Pivot into Power

Stop Making Excuses: How to Quickly Pivot into Power

Below is a transcript of this recording:

Today we’re going to talk about excuses. More importantly, we’re going to learn how to listen to our excuses and use them to take powerful action.

If we want to expand into greater freedom, aliveness, love, and peace then that means we’re going to be moving beyond what seems comfortable or safe. It means we’re going to invite small amounts of discomfort and risk and failure. And you can bet your butt that there’s gonna be some resistance. If we’re going to lie on our deathbed with any regrets, our regrets will have resistance to thank.

So let’s expect resistance to crash the party and try to kill our momentum. Let’s expect resistance to try and convince us that a tiny speed bump is really a wall. And since resistance is the part of us that feeds our excuses, let’s run through some of the most common excuses I hear in my coaching sessions with clients.

First up is the excuse that has us say…

If I Make a Big Change Everything Will Fall Apart

I talk to so many clients that have big dreams and even bigger excuses. They paint a wonderful picture for themselves and then grind to a halt because they believe they’ll have to do something reckless or dramatic that would endanger their family or lifestyle. It’s usually some story about having to quit their job, or get a divorce, or raise vast amounts of cash before they could even get started creating the thing they want to build.

It’s some belief that says making this change means some huge, terrible thing will happen. But most of the time this kind of thing is just resistance. And convincing ourselves that the next step is reckless or dangerous is a highly effective way to rationalize staying in our comfort zone for years.

But when I walk through these nightmares with clients, most of the time we come to realize they’re just fantasies. In reality, the next step isn’t drastic. It’s usually quite small and mundane. Our ego may want to believe that we’re the hero who has to slay some big dragon, but what’s more true is that we’re just a person facing an uncomfortable conversation, phone call, or task. There is no dragon.

I once worked with a guy who told me he had this huge burning desire to start his own real estate investment company, but by gosh he just couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t moving forward.

I asked him, “What do you think needs to happen before you can move forward?”

He said, “Well, I would need to quit my job. And before I can do that I have to have X amount in the bank so my family is okay. And I’m just not saving it quickly enough. It’s going to take years at this rate.”

I asked, “Ok. Well tell me this. What’s the first thing you would do after you had all of the money saved up, knew your family was safe, and had quit your job?”

He thought about if for a little while and then said, “Well, I’d reach out to some mentors and start figuring out how to create this investment deal. I’d research what would make it work for them, that kinda thing.”

“And do you really need to quit your job in order to do that?”

“Huh. I guess not.”

If resistance has us believing that we need to quit our job, or sell our business, or have a ton of money in the bank before we can do the thing we really want to do — then let’s first imagine we’ve already done those things. Let’s put ourselves in that situation mentally. Now if this were true, what would be the very next practical step we’d take?

What we’re likely to see is that this step is not dependent on our professional or financial or relational situation. We can see that this step is within reach today. And while it may be a little scary, it’s something we can do right now.