Does your spouse always say “yes,” avoid conflict, or seem overly focused on making everyone else happy—even at their own expense? You may be married to a Pleaser. In this episode, we’re unpacking what it really means to be married to a Pleaser—how this love style forms, how it impacts your relationship, and what both of you can do to create deeper emotional intimacy.

💬 “Pleasers aren’t trying to be fake—they’re trying to stay safe.”

This episode is all about moving from performance to authenticity—and learning to build a marriage where honesty, vulnerability, and mutual care are welcome.

🧭 What You’ll Learn:

• What drives the Pleaser Love Style
• Why pleasers often avoid conflict and overextend themselves
• What it’s like being married to a Pleaser—and the hidden costs of chronic “yes”
• How to respond with love, not pressure
• Practical steps for Pleasers to grow in confidence and connection

💡 Key Highlights:

• Pleasers often come from critical or high-pressure homes and learned to keep the peace by minimizing their needs.
• Being married to a Pleaser may feel emotionally confusing—because it’s hard to connect with someone who won’t show you their full self.
• Change is possible when Pleasers feel safe to express, say no, and trust that love isn’t based on performance.

📖 Scriptures Mentioned:

• Galatians 1:10 – “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?”
• Ephesians 4:15 – “Speak the truth in love…”

🎯 Take Action:

• 💬 Talk with your spouse using these connecting questions:

1. What is one thing I can do for you to help make tomorrow easier?
2. What reactions of mine tend to be stressful to you?
3. Is there an area of your life, even with me, where you feel like you have to walk on eggshells? Why is that?

• 📤 Share this episode with a friend or couple who may need it.
• ⭐️ Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform to help other couples find biblical encouragement.
• 🔗 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more marriage tools and support.

💭 You don’t have to earn love through peacekeeping. Real connection happens when you let yourself be known—and loved—in truth.

Do you ever feel like you're talking to a wall? Or maybe like you're carrying all the emotional weight in your marriage? If so, you might be married to an Avoider—someone who disconnects emotionally, struggles with vulnerability, and often insists they’re “fine” when they’re anything but.

In today’s episode, we’re taking a deeper look into what emotional avoidance really is, where it comes from, and—most importantly—how to build emotional safety and connection in a marriage where one spouse tends to shut down.

💬 “Being married to an avoider doesn’t mean your spouse doesn’t care—it often means they were never taught how to engage emotionally in healthy ways.”

🧭 What You’ll Learn:

• The traits and mindset of the Avoider Love Style
• Why emotional shutdown isn’t personal—it’s protective
• What it’s really like being married to an avoider
• How their childhood may have shaped their emotional patterns
• Practical and biblical tools to invite connection and build trust
• Encouragement for avoiders to grow emotionally and spiritually

📖 Scriptures Mentioned:

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted…”
• Ezekiel 36:26 – “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.”

🎯 Take Action:

• Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for biblically based marriage resources and counseling.
• Share this episode with a friend who may be married to an avoider.
• Don’t forget to leave a rating or review to help more couples discover hope and healing.

💡 You’re not stuck in a cycle of disconnection—there is hope, growth, and emotional intimacy waiting on the other side of avoidance. Let’s start the journey together.

Do you find yourself trying to “fix” your spouse, control the outcome of your marriage, or manage every detail so nothing goes wrong? You're not alone—and you're not broken for feeling that way. But there is a better, more freeing path forward.

In this episode, Chris & Jamie unpack why we try to control our marriages, what’s really behind that urge, and how learning to surrender our grip can bring peace. You’ll gain insight, scriptural truth, and practical steps to help you trust God more deeply with your marriage and your spouse.

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

What Control Looks Like in Marriage

• Constant correction, micromanaging, withholding support
• How control often disguises itself as “help” or “concern”
• Scripture Highlight: Galatians 5:1, James 4:1–2

 What’s Behind the Need for Control?

• Fear 
• Control as self-protection when trust in God wavers
• Scripture Highlight: 2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 56:3

 The Problem with Control

• Damages emotional safety and connection
• Stifles the Holy Spirit’s work
• Leaves you exhausted and discouraged
• Quote: “Letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving God His rightful place.”

 How to Surrender Control and Trust God

• Identify your fears and release them to God
• Shift from pressure to prayer
• Scripture Highlight:Matthew 11:28–30

💬 Powerful Takeaway Quote:

“Control often feels like protection—but it’s actually a heavy burden God never asked us to carry.”

🎯 Call to Action:

• Share this episode with a friend who may be carrying too much
• Want more support? Learn about Christian marriage counseling at ExpeditionMarriage.org/marriage

Don't forget: A great marriage isn’t found—it’s built, one intentional step at a time. Keep showing up. Keep trusting God. We’re cheering you on.

Emotions in marriage aren’t the enemy—they’re God-given tools meant to stir your heart toward action, deeper intimacy, and meaningful connection. In this episode of Expedition Marriage, Chris & Jamie dive into some common powerful emotions that, when understood and embraced biblically, can strengthen your relationship and reignite passion. You’ll discover how emotions like frustration, fear, sadness, and even boredom can become catalysts for growth, healing, and renewed love.

🧭 What You’ll Learn:

• How to use frustration as a signal for healing instead of division
• Why fear in your relationship can be a sign you’re growing
• How sadness and regret can lead to deeper restoration and closeness
• Why longing for beauty and connection in your marriage is godly
• How to recognize and respond to righteous anger and protect your marriage
• How emotions are designed by God to draw you closer, not pull you apart

📖 Scripture References:

• Ephesians 4:26 – “In your anger do not sin.”
• Isaiah 41:10 – “Do not fear, for I am with you.”
• Ecclesiastes 3:4 – “A time to weep and a time to laugh.”
• Nehemiah 4:14 – “Fight for your families…”
• Philippians 4:8 – “Whatever is lovely… think about such things.”
• Ecclesiastes 9:9 – “Enjoy life with your wife…”
• 2 Corinthians 7:10 – “Godly sorrow brings repentance…”

💬 Reflection Questions:

• Which emotion is currently showing up in your marriage?
• Have you been avoiding it, or using it in a way that draws you closer?
• How might God want to use that emotion to transform your relationship?

📣 Don’t Miss:

If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend or leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! Every share helps more couples find hope and healing through Christ.

🧭 Follow-Up:

Explore more ways to build your marriage at ExpeditionMarriage.org and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Closing Reminder: A great marriage isn’t found—it’s built. One intentional step at a time.

Marriage is a lifelong journey that evolves with each decade—and every season comes with both its own challenges and its unique purpose. In this episode, Chris & Jamie walk through the different decades of marriage—from the idealistic 20s to the legacy-filled 70s—and share biblical wisdom and practical encouragement for every stage. Whether you’re dreaming big, building hard, questioning what’s next, or leaving a legacy, this episode will help you embrace your season with grace, faith, and intentionality.

🧭 What You’ll Learn:

• What characterizes each decade of marriage and the purpose within it
• How to strengthen your relationship through every season—from early dreams to late wisdom
• Why your current season matters and how to fully show up for it
• Biblical encouragement and reflection questions for each stage

💡 Episode Highlights:

🧡 The Idealistic Years (20s) • Time of big dreams, passion, and possibilities • Don't let others stifle your optimism—dream and plan together

🔨 The Industrious Years (30s) • The building decade: careers, parenting, responsibilities • High-stress years—easy to feel like co-workers instead of lovers

🔥 The Intense Years (40s) • Questions of success, identity, and “Have we done enough?” • Increased financial and physical stress; watch for resentment

🕊️ The Influential Years (50s & 60s) • A time of wisdom, mentoring, and dreaming new dreams—together • Warning: high divorce rate in this age group; stay connected

🌳 The Indelible Years (70s & beyond) • Storytelling season—your words and life hold deep meaning • Grandchildren watch how you finish the race

💬 Reflection & Encouragement:

• No season is wasted—each one has a God-given purpose • Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “To everything there is a season…” • Talk with your spouse: What season are you in? What do you need most from one another right now?

🎯 Call to Action:

• 📥 Download your free resource: Marriage Through the Decades Reflection Guide at https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-149-the-different-decades-of-marriage-every-season-has-a-purpose
• 👥 Share this episode with another couple—especially one in a different season than you
• ⭐ Leave a review if this episode encouraged you—it helps more couples find hope
• 🌐 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more free tools, blog posts, and resources

Closing Reminder: A great marriage isn’t found—it’s built. One intentional season at a time. Until next time—keep showing up, keep leaning in, and keep trusting God with your journey.

When it comes to parenting, most couples focus on discipline strategies, school choices, and managing behavior. But what if one of your most powerful parenting tools isn’t a strategy at all—but your marriage itself?

In this episode, we’ll show you how a Christ-centered, connected marriage naturally overflows into your parenting. The way you love, communicate with, and treat your spouse is constantly shaping what your children believe about love, respect, and relationships.

💬 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why your marriage is your greatest influence in your children’s lives
• How unresolved conflict between you and your spouse affects your kids—even when you think they don’t notice
• Why a healthy, grace-filled relationship teaches more than your words ever could
• How to model faith, love, and security in your home without needing to be perfect

📖 Want to Go Deeper?

Check out our YouVersion Bible Reading Plan: 👉 How to Use Your Marriage as Your Best Parenting Tool

This free 5-day plan will help you strengthen your marriage and see it as the gift God designed to bless your children.

📥 Resources:

• Visit expeditionmarriage.org for more marriage and parenting resources.

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-148-how-to-use-your-marriage-as-your-best-parenting-tool/

🎯 Call to Action:

• After listening, ask each other: “What are our kids learning about relationships from us right now?”
• Share this episode with a couple who needs encouragement in their parenting journey.
• Subscribe and leave a review to help more couples discover Expedition Marriage.

Let’s raise strong children by building strong marriages.

How to Co-Regulate in Marriage and Become Each Other’s Safe Place

Ever feel like you and your spouse are constantly missing each other emotionally? In this episode, we’re talking about the powerful (but often overlooked) practice of co-regulation—and how it can transform your marriage into a place of emotional safety, healing, and connection.

We'll explore what it means to not just regulate your own emotions but to be a calm, supportive presence for your spouse—and how this reflects the love and comfort of Christ in your marriage.

In this episode, we’ll cover:

• ✅ What co-regulation is (and how it’s different from self-regulation)
• 💔 How emotional disconnection and little “t” traumas show up in everyday marriage moments
• 📖 The biblical foundation for becoming a safe place: Galatians 6:2, Proverbs 17:17, Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, Romans 12:10
• 💡 Real-life examples of how co-regulation can show up in your marriage
• 🛠 Practical steps to create emotional safety and healing—without needing to fix everything
• ❤️ Why your tone, presence, and patience may be the most healing tools you have

💬 Quote from the Episode: "There’s enough loss in the world—let’s not contribute more of it in our homes."

🎯 Call to Action:

1. Try to implement co-regulation into your marriage this week: a soft word, your presence, or a listening ear. Tune yourself into your spouse. Look for ways to show up for them. Be the soft place for them to land in this harsh world.
2. Ask your spouse: “Do you feel emotionally safe with me?”—and truly listen.
3. Share this episode with a friend or couple who could use some emotional connection and support.
4. Visit expeditionmarriage.org for more tools, devotionals, and resources to build a safe and God-honoring marriage.

You don’t have to heal alone—and you weren’t designed to do marriage alone. Let’s build homes of safety and healing—together.

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-147-safe-and-sound-how-to-co-regulate-in-marriage-and-become-each-others-safe-place

You’ve probably heard the phrase “leave and cleave” at some point—maybe in premarital counseling or during your wedding ceremony—but what does it actually mean in everyday married life?

In this episode, we unpack the biblical command to leave and cleave (Genesis 2:24) and explore how it goes far beyond the honeymoon stage. Whether you've been married one year or twenty, failing to fully “leave” and properly “cleave” can lead to emotional disconnection, blurred boundaries with parents, and lingering tension in your home.

We’re diving into:

• ✅ What leaving and cleaving actually means (spoiler: it’s not just about moving out!)
• 💡 How unresolved parent ties can affect your marriage for years
• 🔒 Why setting healthy boundaries with in-laws is not dishonoring
• ❤️ How to strengthen your unity as a couple and stand together as one

You’ll also hear practical examples, biblical wisdom, and simple steps to evaluate your own marriage in this area.

💬 Big Takeaway: Leaving and cleaving isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a lifelong practice of choosing your spouse above all others, and building a united front together.

📥 Don’t Forget to Grab the Free Resource! Download the Leaving & Cleaving Listener Reflection Guide—a helpful tool to assess your current boundaries, strengthen your unity as a couple, and create healthier in-law dynamics.

👉 Get the free guide in the show notes or at https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-146-leaving-and-cleaving-what-it-really-means-and-why-it-still-matters-in-marriage 

💬 Let’s Connect! If this episode challenged or encouraged you, we’d love to hear from you! Send us an email at email@expeditionmarriage, and don’t forget to share this episode with another couple who might need it.

⛈️ In This Episode:

What’s your marriage really built on?

In today’s episode, Chris and Jamie explore what it means to build a marriage that can withstand life’s storms. Drawing from Jesus’ words in Matthew 7, they’ll help you identify if you’ve unknowingly been building on shaky ground—and show you how to rebuild on the rock-solid truth of Christ.

Whether you're facing hardship right now or just want to prepare for whatever comes your way, this episode will give you biblical insight and practical steps to storm-proof your marriage.

📖 Scriptures Mentioned:

• Matthew 7:24–27 – Building on the rock
• Galatians 2:21 – Rejecting performance-based love
• Proverbs 3:5 – Trusting in God over worldly wisdom
• John 15:5 – Staying connected to Christ
• Ephesians 5:25–33 – Loving like Christ
• 1 Corinthians 13 – Living out godly love

🔍 You'll Learn:

• Why storms don’t have to destroy your marriage
• 3 subtle signs you’re building on the wrong foundation
• How to recognize and surrender self-reliant patterns
• Four practical ways to start rebuilding on Christ
• Why spiritual intimacy is key to long-term strength
• Real-life encouragement for couples in every season

💬 Reflection Questions:

• What storms have tested your marriage recently?
• Did they reveal any weak spots—or strengthen your foundation?
• What is one way you can re-center your marriage on Jesus this week?

📥 Resources & Next Steps:

👫 Talk with your spouse about what your marriage has been built on—and what step you’ll take together this week to build on Christ.

🎧 Listen & Subscribe:

Don’t forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode—and if today’s conversation encouraged you, please leave a quick review!

Have you ever found yourself snapping, shutting down, or numbing out—and not even sure why? You might be experiencing emotional flooding.

In this episode, Chris and Jamie unpack what emotional flooding is, how it silently impacts your marriage, and what you can do to find healthy release instead of letting it explode or bury you. Just like a 10-gallon bucket can only hold so much water, our hearts can only hold so many emotions before they spill over—and that overflow shows up in our marriages.

💥 In This Episode, We’ll Cover:

🔹 What emotional flooding is 🔹 Real-life signs your emotional bucket is full 🔹 Why some of us have “coffee cups” while others have “buckets” 🔹 Practical ways to poke holes in your bucket before it spills

📖 Biblical Encouragement:

“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” —Psalm 62:8

✅ Helpful Takeaways:

• Learn how to identify when you or your spouse are emotionally flooded
• Explore practical tools like walking, journaling, or talking it out
• Create space in your marriage for healthy emotional release and empathy
• Reframe emotional overload not as weakness—but as an invitation to connect

💛 Want More Support for Your Marriage?

Check out more free tools and biblical resources at ExpeditionMarriage.org

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review if this episode encouraged you!

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-144-is-your-emotional-bucket-overflowing-how-to-recognize-and-release-emotional-flooding-in-marriage/