How do I pick the right mediator for my divorce? What does a  mediator actually do? How long does mediation typically last? How do you know if you should even try mediation?? If you have ever wondered the above questions, this episode is MUST LISTEN! Morgan and Andrea discuss everything you didn't know that you need to know BEFORE embarking on the mediation process. Remembering that we are here to help you not SUCK at getting divorced!   Mediation helps you step out of the court system to come to a more creative solution for disagreements in your divorce process.  Keep that in mind.    Take a listen to this episode and please message us with any questions! Hit us up on social media! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce You've Got This and We've Got You!        

47. Expert Tips to Get What You Want in Your Divorce Mediation

The only divorce podcast that's one part family law attorney and one part recovering comedian.  We are dedicated to bringing you action steps, empathy, and a healthy side of snark. 

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport bring you divorce content that's resourceful, entertaining, packed with ACTION STEPS from EXPERTS, and most importantly, help listeners feel less alone.

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We know - it sounds pretty daunting and impossible. This episode is full of actionable steps for you to take. In this episode, we chat again with forensic psychotherapist guest, Micaela Van Dine https://mvdpsychotherapy.com/, about how to prepare to leave your abusive marriage. You're going to hear about: -Setting a timeline for leaving (we know- sounds impossible) -Understanding your/your spouse's financial situation -Securing sentimental belongings -Safely exiting the marriage -Making sure you're doing things "by the law" in your state -Be SUPER mindful of the kids Our Divorce Crash Course was help you out here- BIG TIME- please, go check it out. It's $97 and will give you an actionable plan that will help save THOUSANDS and avoid major mistakes. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course  Friends, you can reach out to Micaela directly on her website if you want her consulting advice.  As always it’s recommended to consult with legal professionals and therapists specific to the listener's jurisdiction to ensure appropriate and personalized advice. If you need support in finding someone in your area, shoot us over an email at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com   Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck Soberlink is here for you if you're concerned about alcohol usage during parenting time. Go to: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck to get $50 off your device.

114. What You Must Do Before You Leave Your Abusive Marriage...

  This episode is your high conflict divorce survival guide. We are going to cover the steps you should take to help maintain your sanity and stamina needed to survive high conflict divorce process. On this episode, we talk with forensic psychotherapist, Micaela Van Dine, https://mvdpsychotherapy.com , who shares her professional insights and personal experiences related to high-conflict divorces in the courtroom. Do you have our Divorce Crash Course?? If you are navigating a high conflict divorce, this crash course will potentially help you save THOUSANDS of dollars.  Find it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course As ALWAYS, this episode offers several action steps and practical advice, like:   -Maintaining silence amid provocation -Building a support system -Choosing the right legal and mental health professionals to guide you through the difficult process   One of the most helpful tools available to you is Our Family Wizard. Used in many high conflict cases, Our Family Wizard is our top recommendation for organizing communication between coparents. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And don't forget about Soberlink! Soberlink to our go-to tool for those who suspect an alcohol issue during parenting times. Visit: http://www.soberlink.com/not to receive $50 off your device.   Hit play & feel a little less alone! Please reach out to us should you want more support!  

113. High Conflict Divorce Survival Guide

Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation.  It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING. And before we get into the nitty gritty: Do you have our Divorce Crash Course? It literally holds your hand through ALL major divorce decisions! Get it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course  Here are 3 EXPERT tips, (from a mediator herself- Joy Rosenthal-https://www.joyrosenthal.com/), to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation: 1) You don't have to RESPECT your soon to be ex, but you still need to have some DIGNITY for them. In other words, treat them like a human who also has wants and needs (even if their wants and needs are questionable and they're acting like a total tool) 2)Start to think of the problem as something that's outside of you and your soon to be ex. Meaning, the issue is "who gets the kids this Christmas?" or "who gets the lake house?" or "who's going to get the collection of ketchup bottles?" (yes, that was an actual issue for one of Morgan's cases). The issue is not about YOU, and it's not about you soon to be ex, it's simply a "problem" that needs to be "solved". 3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation.  It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that.  In fact, the old divorce joke goes, "if both parties are unhappy and feel they got cheated, then the attorneys did their job" I (Andrea) HATE that joke and it makes me want to scream, but that's the way it goes! And remember, mediation, divorce- all of this mess-is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you.  Our Family Wizard is here to help you though your coparenting journey. Learn more about them here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

112. Mediation Prep That Will be Crucial to Your Case

Summer’s almost here folks, and you know what that means...camps, vacations..and your divorce, oh my! Not to mention: the DREADED parenting agreements. One of Andrea’s least favorite topics but something we HAVE to talk about. We talk about the significance of communication and flexibility in establishing summer parenting schedules, and the legal implications of these changes. We also dive into the complexities of co-parenting during summer, including summer camps, child support, and travel logistics.  In this episode you’ll learn:  *The challenges of balancing work and children's needs during the summer, especially for working and single parents *Suggestions for getting help with childcare during the summer *The importance of creativity and flexibility *Examples of creative modifications to summer parenting schedules and the importance of communication between parents *Practical approaches to managing summer activities, like summer camps, co-parenting logistics, and managing expectation *Strategies for initiating conversations with co-parents about travel plans and managing summer camp choices. And friend that barely scratches this surface in this jam packed mini episode! Don't forget to check out the DCC, honey, you need this! : https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course And, go sign up for Our Family Wizard's free newsletter! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And finally, join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity  

111. What to Consider About the Summer (Divorce Tips!)

Alright, here's one of Andrea's least favorite topics...but probably the most important: the parenting agreement. Below are the show notes for a special re air episode, all about the parenitng agreement.    Remember, our Divorce Crash Course holds your hand through ALL of the important decisions you make during your divorce process. Grab you DCC, right here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course for only $97, you can save up to THOUSANDS and avoid making MAJOR mistakes. The cost of our crash course includes 5 short videos, which are wildly informative and entertaining (if we do say so ourselves) AND includes a printable guidebook, that has mental health break exercises built in! ***********   We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kids first in your parenting agreement. Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements.   Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer: What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement? How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children. The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement. What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager? Can you modify a parenting agreement? Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child? Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks? What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary? What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement?   What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand.   Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned?   Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos".   Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook   Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out!   Also- Our Family Wizard is here to help make your coparenting journey a whole lot easier. To learn more about them and to get access to an article that we cowrote, visit them at: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

47. Expert Tips to Get What You Want in Your Divorce Mediation

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