Extraordinary Relationships

What if that "uh-oh" you feel with someone you love isn't a sign that something is wrong? What if it's a doorway? We recorded this conversation at the end of a week-long retreat in Santa Cruz, California, with Patrick Connor, whose life's work is living from a deep, embodied wholeness. It’s not about rising above ordinary life. It means bringing that wholeness fully into our bodies, our feelings, our nervous systems, and our relationships. We explore why so much relationship advice never reaches where our deepest patterns live: the atmosphere we took in before we had words, where love and survival became entangled. Our opposition to fully experiencing these patterns keeps them crystallized. A trigger, met with gentleness and wonder, can become a GPS that guides us back to ourselves. Andrew shares his lifelong dance with rejection. Danielle shares what happens when she stops reaching up and out to connect with others, and begins meeting people from her belly and heart. The invitation is radical, and surprisingly tender: it only takes one to tango. Come curious and playful, and see what fascinating adventures open up when we no longer need to fix and improve ourselves.

Guest Links & Resources:

* Patrick Connor at Sharmada Foundation

Reflections Episode soon to come:

In our Reflections episode, we reflect on the key moments, insights, and practices that stood out in our conversation with Patrick. We share:

* Observations and highlights from the original conversation & experience.

* Personal insights from Andrew and Danielle on applying these principles in daily life.

* Practical ideas and exercises you can try to deepen the connection in your own relationships.

* A worksheet with instructions you can download.

The Reflections episode is a shorter, intimate companion to the main interview—designed to help you process, integrate, and embody what was discussed.

Please note: "It takes one to tango" invites us to meet our own fear and triggers rather than trying to change the other person. It is not an invitation to stay in a relationship that is harmful. Welcoming what arises in us and setting clear boundaries can go hand in hand. In fact, boundaries that come from wholeness, rather than opposition, are often the clearest ones. If you are experiencing abuse or feel unsafe, please reach out to a trusted professional or a local support service.

In this episode of Extraordinary Relationships, we sit down with Lorenzo and Nicole, who met in an Indian ashram thirty-three years ago and have moved through nearly every shape a relationship can take since. They fell into each other’s orbit through wildness on one side and steadiness on the other, married, built a life together in Lausanne, and eventually divorced. What has stayed constant through all of it is a friendship they have chosen, again and again.

Lorenzo and Nicole speak with rare candor about the years of negotiation that ran beneath their marriage: what it meant to stay exclusive or not, how much of themselves each had to compromise, and the slow accumulation of imbalance that eventually brought the relationship to an end. Their honesty extends to the hardest parts, including the affairs that coincided with their separation and the grief, shared openly and often through tears, that accompanied letting go of the marriage while holding onto each other.

Their wedding rings carried an inscription that became something like a philosophy: this too will pass. That phrase threads through the conversation as both comfort and provocation, a reminder that impermanence applies to the good moments as much as the difficult ones, and that a relationship can survive the ending of its original form. Sixteen years after their divorce, Lorenzo and Nicole still see each other weekly, supported by their current partners, and describe a closeness that feels lighter and freer than it ever did inside the marriage itself.

This is a conversation about what becomes possible when two people stop expecting each other to fulfill every need, and choose instead to keep telling each other the truth.

Guest Links & Resources:

* Nicole Monnerat is a Consultant in Corporate Health Risk Management and can be contacted via [email protected]

* Lorenzo Clemente is a Family Support Specialist who guides and assists families through social, behavioral, or developmental challenges. His email is [email protected]

Reflections Episode soon to come:

In our Reflections episode, we reflect on the key moments, insights, and practices that stood out in our conversation with Lorenzo and Nicole. We share:

* Observations and highlights from the original conversation & experience.

* Personal insights from Andrew and Danielle on applying these principles in daily life.

* Practical ideas and exercises you can try to deepen the connection in your own relationships.

* A worksheet with instructions you can download.

The Reflections episode is a shorter, intimate companion to the main interview—designed to help you process, integrate, and embody what was discussed.

In this Reflections episode, Danielle & Andrew revisit Andrew’s in-person conversation with his men’s team, unpacking the wisdom, practices, and principles that make the team’s relationships thrive.

We explore:

* Key insights that arose during the interview

* Practical ways to bring these lessons into your own life

* Moments of vulnerability, growth, and connection that inspired us

Join us as we slow down, reflect, and share what we learned—so you can bring more presence and connection into your own relationships.

Take a moment to explore, experiment, and let the principles of extraordinary relationships come to life in your everyday moments. Share what you notice, and invite a friend to join you — connection grows best when it’s shared!

* Revisit the original interview here: Brotherhood, Nature, and the Practice of Showing Up: 25 Years of Men’s Team

* Download our 1-page worksheet to support you in experimenting with the men’s team practices here.

* Subscribe to catch all upcoming episodes.

In this Reflections episode, Danielle & Andrew revisit their in-person conversation with Caroline & Jason Bernhardt-Lanier, unpacking the wisdom, practices, and principles that make their relationship thrive.

We explore:

* Key insights that arose during the interview

* Practical ways to bring these lessons into your own life

* Moments of vulnerability, growth, and connection that inspired us

Join us as we slow down, reflect, and share what we learned—so you can bring more presence and connection into your own relationships.

Take a moment to explore, experiment, and let the principles of extraordinary relationships come to life in your everyday moments. Share what you notice, and invite a friend to join you — connection grows best when it’s shared!

* Revisit the original interview here: Extraordinary and Ordinary Love with Shared Purpose

* Download our 1-page worksheet to support you in experimenting with Jason & Caroline’s practices here.

* Subscribe to catch all upcoming episodes.

In this episode, Andrew sits down with members of his men’s team that began with a three-day conversation on a mountain 25 years ago, and has never really stopped. What unfolds in this conversation is something rare: men speaking with uncommon honesty about what they’ve built, what it’s cost them, and why they keep showing up.

They had gathered in Cornwall, England, for a weeklong hiking trip. Sadly, one member, Kent Haden, was absent. They tell us about the moments that nearly broke them, the members they have lost, and the question of whether men’s groups even work over Zoom.

But mostly, they’ll tell you what happens when men commit to knowing and being known over decades. What grows, what shifts, and what becomes possible that wasn’t before.

And for those who feel something stirring while listening, they don’t leave you there. They share what they have learned about how to actually start something like this, and what it takes to make it last.

If you’ve ever wondered whether deep male friendship is real, or whether you’re capable of it, this episode is for you.

Guest Links and Resources:

Mankind project

ARKA Brotherhood

Paul Zysman’s Foundation: Community Evolution

Paul Zysman’s email: [email protected]

 Richard Kay’s Sentinel Retreat Center

Richard Kay’s email: [email protected]

Richard’s book: Presence - A State of Being

John Ince’s website & email: [email protected]

Garry Gallagher email: [email protected]

Reflections Episode soon to come:

In our Reflections episode, we reflect on the key moments, insights, and practices that stood out in the conversation Andrew had with his men’s team. We share:

* Observations and highlights from the original conversation & experience.

* Personal insights from Andrew and Danielle on applying these principles in daily life.

* Practical ideas and exercises you can try to deepen the connection in your own relationships.

* A worksheet with instructions you can download.

The Reflections episode is a shorter, intimate companion to the main interview—designed to help you process, integrate, and embody what was discussed.

When we released our reflections episode about our conversation with Father David, something quietly wonderful happened.

He listened. And then he sent us a voice message on WhatsApp.

Father David offered what he called a “master’s level” of the Examen, a way of practicing it that moves beyond the checklist and into something genuinely receptive. When we heard it, we were both touched and immediately inspired to practice it exactly as he describes.

This felt too good to keep to ourselves.

We hope it inspires you too!

If you haven’t yet listened to our original interview with Father David or our reflections episode, we’d suggest starting there first.

In this Reflections episode, Danielle & Andrew revisit their in-person conversation with Father David McCallum, unpacking the wisdom, practices, and principles that support his relationships to God/the Divine.

We explore:

* Key insights that arose during the interview

* Practical ways to bring these lessons into your own life

* Moments of vulnerability, growth, and connection that inspired us

Join us as we slow down, reflect, and share what we learned—so you can bring more presence and connection into your own relationships.

Take a moment to explore, experiment, and let the principles of extraordinary relationships come to life in your everyday moments. Share what you notice, and invite a friend to join you — connection grows best when it’s shared!

* Revisit the original interview here: Listening in Prayer, Discernment, and Non-Dual Glimpses of God

* Download our 1-page worksheet to support you in experimenting with Father David’s practices here.

* Subscribe to catch all upcoming episodes.

In this conversation with Andrew and Danielle in Barcelona, Jason and Caroline reflect on 35+ years together since meeting at university, describing their relationship as both extraordinary and ordinary: a long unfolding of commitment, shared purpose, and growth through bliss and struggle, now including four adult children exploring relationships themselves.

They recount co-leading a service trip to Honduras, falling in love, marrying young, and later living in Bolivia doing service work with street youth, establishing a pattern of “shared projects” that continues to this day through family life and co-leading couples workshops.

They share how they have evolved from people-pleasing, disembodiment, emotional illiteracy, and control into greater self-awareness and relational skills, including how to repair when things get challenging. They offer many ideas and suggestions for keeping the aliveness thriving in a long-term relationship. These include structured Imago Dialogue (mirroring, validation, empathy), appreciation practices, and a renewed focus on pleasure, playfulness, and embodiment.

Guest Links & Resources:

Jason & Caroline’s workshops & website

Getting the Love You Want couples workshops

Imago therapy & dialogue

Enneagram 2

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Ma (間): A Japanese aesthetic concept translated as “pause,” “interval,” or “space-between”. In painting, it refers to the empty space that gives form to the overall artwork, often considered as substantive as the painted areas.

Reflections Episode soon to come:

In our Reflections episode, we reflect on the key moments, insights, and practices that stood out in our conversation with Jason and Caroline. We share:

* Observations and highlights from the original conversation & experience.

* Personal insights from Andrew and Danielle on applying these principles in daily life.

* Practical ideas and exercises you can try to deepen the connection in your own relationships.

* A worksheet with instructions you can download.

The Reflections episode is a shorter, intimate companion to the main interview—designed to help you process, integrate, and embody what was discussed.

In this episode, we drop in with Father David, who is currently serving the Catholic Church as the Founding Executive Director of the Discerning Leadership Program. This program is a collaborative initiative that provides leadership formation for senior Vatican officials and major superiors of religious orders.

He lives and works in Rome at the Jesuit General Curia steps away from the splendour of St Peter’s Square.

We’ll explore David’s journey from early childhood to being moved by the 1989 assassination of Jesuits in El Salvador, applying to the Jesuits, and receiving confirming signs amid doubts.

He reflects on conditional self-worth rooted in childhood financial insecurity, God’s healing toward unconditional love, and cautions about attachment to mystical experiences.

He explains the Examen as a daily practice and outlines his work fostering discernment, shared dignity, and participatory church leadership encouraged by Pope Francis and Pope Leo.

If the word ‘God’ makes you bristle, we get it. We invite you to swap in whatever word works for you: the sacred, love, mystery, the force that connects us, or simply the deepest truth you know. This conversation is really about what it means to be fully human with each other, and that belongs to everyone.

Guest Links & Resources:

Father David McCallum Discerning Leadership

The Examen

Being integrally informed

Spiritual Bypassing

Pantheism and Panentheism

St. Ignatius of Loyola

Teresa of Avila

I - Thou

Subject-Object Theory

Kenosis

Reflections Episode & Worksheet soon to come:

In the coming weeks, we will release our Reflections episode where we reflect on the key moments, insights, and practices that stood out in our conversation with Father David. In our reflections episode, we share:

* Observations and highlights from the original conversation & experience.

* Personal insights from Andrew and Danielle on applying these principles in daily life.

* Practical ideas and exercises you can try to deepen the connection in your own relationships.

The Reflections episode & Worksheet are an intimate companion to the main interview—designed to help you process, integrate, and embody what was discussed. These are only available on Substack via paid subscriptions.

In this Reflections episode, Danielle & Andrew revisit their in-person conversation with Joel & Ellen, unpacking the wisdom, practices, and principles that make their relationships thrive.

We explore:

* Key insights that arose during the interview

* Practical ways to bring these lessons into your own life

* Moments of vulnerability, growth, and connection that inspired us

Join us as we slow down, reflect, and share what we learned—so you can bring more presence and connection into your own relationships.

Take a moment to explore, experiment, and let the principles of extraordinary relationships come to life in your everyday moments. Share what you notice, and invite a friend to join you — connection grows best when it’s shared!

* Revisit the original interview here: Evolving Through Love and Radical Acceptance

* Download our 1-page worksheet to support you in experimenting with Joel & Ellen’s practices here.

* Subscribe to catch all upcoming episodes.