Facts Machine

Bottoms up! It's an episode of Facts Machine all about booze. Tune in to learn how John Chapman planted cider apple trees until he became known as Johnny Appleseed, how a ban on eggnog incited a violent riot among cadets at West Point, and how drunk birds are wreaking havoc in a small Minnesota town.

Grab some peanuts and Cracker Jacks and get your glove out from under your mattress. The baseball season might be over, but it's opening day for America's *real* pastime: trivia! There will be more twists than one of those curvy, slidy pitches...what are they called again? Settle in for a long, boring episode about the long, boring game that we can't help but love. We'll discuss the story behind the song "Take Me Out To The Ball Game", possibly make a mortal enemy of the National Peanut Board, debate the beneficial effects of lightning strikes on ERA, learn all about "outlaw" baseball leagues, and, of course, touch on Merkel's Boner, probably the worst play in baseball history! Wait, why are you snickering?

Boo! Did we scare you? No? Well maybe our most recent episode will do the trick (or treat)! This week, Rob, Noah, and Emily explore the overuse of Franken as a prefix, the spooky physics (or lack thereof) of ghosts, and the sex politics of ancient Egyptian mummies.

"I was laughing for half of the episode, and thinking for the other half!", "As funny as 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!'", "I love Facts Machine, but please don't open any more cellophane packages on-air."

The above are all real reviews that our podcast has received! In this episode, Emily, Rob, and Noah review the reviewers--the professional and amateur opinion-havers whose input we've learned is apparently essential (please give us five stars!!!). Listen to find out how a little premature slander resulted in the Nobel Prizes, how a stay-at-home dad inspired the world to throw rotten comedy tomatoes at classic films in 140 characters or fewer, and why Parisians initially gave the Eiffel Tower two thumbs down.

Food fight!!! Grab a gluten-free communion wafer, a rotten tomato, or a cookie that thinks it's a cake, and get ready to throw them at Noah, Emily and Rob as they set the table and dig in to find out the precise gluten content of Jesus of Nazareth, the best uses for tomatoes, and the legal definition of a cookie.

UFOs…chem trails…lizard people…Facts Machine? You’re not crazy (maybe); all the aforementioned things are sources of conspiracy theories! Hold onto your tin foil hats as Noah, Rob, and Emily take you on a mild ride through the world of boring conspiracy theories in Episode 9 of Facts Machine. We’ll cover why Starbucks never gets your name right, why elevator close buttons exist to prevent your descent into existential despair, and how the Swiss government preyed upon a universal human desire for warm, gooey cheese to brainwash (brinewash?) the masses. Tune in for puns, trivia, and possible hidden messages with apocalyptic predictions if you play them backwards! (We didn’t add those. Or did we?!)

They say that that in space, no one can hear you scream…but since we host a podcast, we’re used to screaming fruitlessly into the void, so it’s fine! In this episode, Emily, Rob, and Noah explore the vast reaches of space, as well as all the ways that space reaches into each and every one of our lives. Tune in to discover why scientists are taking pictures of penguin poop from orbit, whether “Icy Chaos” is more than just a good name for a band, and who was the first person to drink alcohol on a planetary body other than Earth.

Some historical heroes are household names, whereas others fade into history, or worse, suffer the cruel fate of not even meriting a Wikipedia page. Ever wonder why unicorns are no longer the scourge of humanity, why badass women journalists no longer hold ransom the clothing of US Presidents to get interviews, and why we don’t operate bicycles like a Kangaroo probably would? Unsung heroes have shaped our society in many ways, and in this episode, Noah, Emily, and Rob tell their (often incredibly weird) stories and shed some light on the world they helped mold…whether we know about them or not.

Twitter/IG: @FactsMachinePod

Facebook: Facts Machine Podcast

Have you ever wondered whether some animals, despite the best efforts of the powerful pro-animal lobby to convince us otherwise (we’re looking at you, David Attenborough), just really suck? Odds are some of them are just going to be real jerks with no redeeming qualities, right? In this episode, Rob, Noah, and Emily debate the merits of jellyfish, pigeons, and spiders, and (with the exception of Rob’s fear that jellyfish hijinks will trigger a nuclear meltdown) come to the conclusion that these animals and many more do not suck, and that instead they are super cool and interesting. Ye who enter here, abandon all hope of avoiding a lengthy series of jokes about Panda sex.

Twitter/IG: @FactsMachinePod

Facebook: Facts Machine Podcast

What will you leave behind when you die? If you're lucky, you'll leave behind the Earth when your ashes are blasted into outer space! Alternatively, you might pass on your birth date to an unlucky child born too close to Christmas. Or maybe, just maybe, you'll start a race to see who can have the most babies during the Great Depression. In this episode, Emily, Rob and Noah, the executors of the Facts Machine estate, explore the wacky world of wills, the legal documents that dictate what happens to your stuff when you die, the crazy things some people have left in them, and the crazy people who have done the leaving.

Twitter/IG: @FactsMachinePod