Faint Praise

If nothing else came of the year 2014, we can at least rest assured that likely Eva Green was paid handsomely for getting her boobs out for not one, but two belated Frank Miller sequels, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For and 300: Rise of an Empire. Listen to Toni nerd out a little over ancient Greek history and Eric nerd out a lot over Eva Green.

This week Toni and Eric are comparing possibly the most indistinguishably-named movies to have come out within a few months of each other, with Twisted and Taking Lives. Which one gets more sexually involved with the serial killings she's investigating, Ashley Judd or Angelina Jolie? Wait, weren't both of them in serial killer movies before?

After getting a little bit of a break last week with decent movies, we get back on track with our whole reason for being by comparing two bad Stephen King movies. And since there are so many to choose from, we went with the Stephen King sub-genre of alien horror and watched The Tommyknockers and Dreamcatcher. Experience Toni's disappointment as the one thing she remembers from The Tommyknockers book doesn't appear in the movie, and ruins the true connection between the two stories which was why she made Eric watch these terrible movies in the first place.

After suffering through the worst combination of movies we've done so far with last week's westerns, we decided to treat ourselves with a couple good movies for a change with 12 Monkeys and Looper. Be prepared to hear Bruce Willis' name a lot in this episode, including several times when we meant to say Brad Pitt. Be prepared to also hear Toni and Eric unable to keep Jeff Daniels and Jeff Bridges straight. Names are apparently hard, guys.

This was a tough one, guys. We watched The Lone Ranger and Wild Wild West within 24 hours of each other. Naming one of them the best was possibly the faintest praise we have yet doled out. But, at least we got to reminisce about this moment in obscure pop culture history: https://twitter.com/barrypepper/status/631960391745183744

There are a lot of Young Adult book series, many of which don't translate well into movies, but that doesn't stop Hollywood from desperately trying for the next Twilight. We examine a couple of the failed attempts with The 5th Wave and I Am Number Four. And Toni may have managed to make it through the second episode in a row without getting any obvious facts wrong, what a treat!

Do you still believe that humans only use 10% of our brains? Then we've got 2 movies you may find very intriguing. But for the rest of us, Limitless and Lucy will not help us eke out that last 90% capacity we've been looking to utilize.

Two Frankenstein movies came out within a year of each other that nobody asked for and nobody saw, and it's not as obvious as you may think as to which is better. Toni stays true to her tradition of getting easy facts wrong by saying that Aaron Eckhart was in Battlefield Earth, when of course it was Battle Los Angeles. Whoops!

They tried pretty hard to make it a thing to add monsters into the stories of classic 19th century figures, but again audiences across the globe declined to participate. Come listen to us decide if Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is better than Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and find out if Toni messed up any more obvious facts!

In a future where a virus threatens humanity's very existence, which raven-haired vixen would you rather have save the day, Milla Jovovich or Charlize Theron? Hollywood asked this question of the general public circa 2005/2006 with Ultraviolet and Aeon Flux, to which the public promptly answered "neither" by avoiding these movies in droves. Eric and Toni try out a couple different pronunciations of Milla Jovovich's name, and probably still don't get it right.