The Social DeTalks Podcast

Fair Fighting Gottman Style 07


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I asked and you answered! What did you learn about conflict resolution and what does mainstream tell us about how to resolve conflict. Essentially, nothing. You were taught very little as adults and whatever you learned as children about conflict, didn't seem to get brought forth into the adult world. 

So why aren't we teaching the skill of  "healthy conflict" to our young adults entering into relationships and the workplace? 

Well, in this episode we are going to go over one model of conflict resolution used in couples therapy, and that model was reseached by John and Julie Gottman, the creators of Gottman therapy and The Gottman Institute. Now this one ONE perspective on how it can be done, and maybe it will work for you, and maybe it won't, but it's worth a try. 

Also, think about how we can be doing better as a society to teach these skills, just as math and science is taught. 

 

Here are the questions from the Gottman Flexible and Inflexible activity: 

  • Can you help me to understand why your “inflexible” needs or values are so important to you? 
  • What are your guiding feelings here?
  • What feelings and goals do we have in common? How might these goals be accomplished?
  • Help me to understand your flexible areas. Let’s see which ones we have in common.
  • How can I help you to meet your core needs?
  • What temporary compromise can we reach on this problem?
  • The Gottmans have some great books and workshops as well. You can download the Gottman Card Deck app for free on your phone to help make date night a little more interesting...

    https://www.gottman.com/product/the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work/

    https://www.gottman.com/product/the-relationship-cure/

     

    Please don't forget to like, subscribe and comment on the platforms.

     

    www.mindonline.ca 

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    The Social DeTalks PodcastBy thesocialdetalkspodcast