FRIENDSHIP

- major decisions

- something that we’re looking for, but we can’t manufacture

- influence and sometimes determine the direction and the quality of our lives

Definition:

a relationship… characterized by:

enjoyment

acceptance

genuine concern

We are drawn toward acceptance.

Genuine concern:

I am more interested in what’s best for you than I am interested in what’s best for the friendship.

John 15:12-15

Proverbs 27:6

Your enemies can set you back, but a counterfeit friend can ruin your life.

Counterfeit:

- reduces your incentive for seeking out the real thing.

- appears to add value

- hard to leave behind

Evaluate the direction of the relationship…

Where’s it going?

Your circle of influence

Your circle of concern

Our inner circle will influence, and even determine, the direction and the quality of our lives.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Philippians 4:11-13

Simple gratitude...

- is relative

- says "I'm grateful I have this good thing, because not everyone does."

Gratitude is an invitation to compassion

- feeling guilty isn't helpful

- ask: how does what I've been given equip me to serve?

- remember: we are blessed so that we can bless others

See Genesis 12, 18, and 22

Matthew 25:14-30

What have you been given? And how will you invest it?

Gratitude is an invitation to learn the character of God

- patience

- intentionality

- listening

Reflection...

- what am I grateful for?

- how does this equip me to serve?

- what can this teach me about the character of God?

Life is 2-sided; choose the better side.

Failure doesn’t have to be fatal.

Mark 9:14-19

Lessons to Learn from Failure:

1) Depend on Christ

Mark 9:20-23

It’s not a question of His ability; it’s a question of our faith.

Mark 9:24-27

When the power of love overcomes the love of power – then peace, reality, and success will be the result.

2) Care for People

Double A’s: attention & affection

Triple A’s: + acceptance

C: compassion

D: direction

3 & 4) Faith and Love

Mark 9:28-29

Let’s Live the “Value-Added” Life

...and ADD VALUE to Others!

Mark 10:43-44

Greatness is a choice.

The more comfortable we are the less inclined we are to be great as Jesus defines great.

LUKE 10:25-37

The Good Samaritan

...true greatness

You can choose to be great.

Be a good neighbor

...that is true greatness.

What can I do to help?

You can run from God, but you can't outrun God.

God is generous in His grace, but thorough in His discipline.

God doesn't discipline us to pay us back, but to bring us back.

Jonah 3:1-10

God is still in the business of preparing people's hearts.

Jonah 4:1-11

Jonah’s prejudice blinded him to the grace that he had received.

Jonah never saw the connection between what God had done in his life, and his obligation to share it with anybody else.

What engages your emotions?

Which of your concerns get in the way of you showing concern for people?

One sign of spiritual maturity:

the degree to which our concerns line up with the concerns of God.

Romans 12:1-2

reNEW:

to give fresh life or strength to replace (something broken or worn out)

Ephesians 2:1,4-5,10

Isaiah 40:31

Isaiah 43:18-19

Greek: renew = palingenesia

palin = again

genesia = beginning

"begin again"

Renewal Process:

Step 1: Reestablish your relationship with God.

Step 2: Put off your old self.

Ephesians 4:22-24

Galatians 3:27

Romans 13:14

Step 3: Put on new life.

Psalm 18:24

We need to be careful that we are not too attached to who we've been, that we can't become who God has called us to be.

2 Corinthians 4:16

2 Corinthians 5:17

John 8:34

Matthew 26:26-28

Matthew 19:28

Revelation 21:1-5

Philippians 1:6

God's not done with your story.

Romans 8:19-23

Who We Are + Moments That Matter = Stories That We Live

Who We Are + Moments That Matter / JESUS in the Moments = Transformed Story

How to reexamine your story:

counseling

journaling

share with a trusted friend

list three influential people

look at your story in three pieces

Acknowledging who and what has shaped you is the first step to moving forward.

Ephesians 2:10

To be effective, we need to learn one thing: Get Over Ourselves

Mark 9:30-34

Mark 9:2-12

Mark 914-18

How to Get Over Yourself:

1) Stop Focusing on Yourself

Mark 9:50

Mark 9:38

Mark 9:37

Matthew 19:13

Mark 9:41

2) Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously

Mark 9:42-48

1 Corinthians 8:10-13

3) You Need to Think About Others

When people think about YOU: “My life is better” - or - “My life is worse”.

Get over yourself; and, start giving yourself.

Giving truly is the highest level of living.

Stumbling block // Stepping stone: which are you?

Free humans.

Be free humans.

Being seen begins to set people free.

- a revival of humanity

There is zero progress without some ability to compromise.

Freedom is the entire goal here.

1, [FREE] LONELINESS

Acts 8:35-38

Mark 1:40-42

Genesis 1

Colossians 1:15-1

John 1:1-3, 14

2, [FREE] LIFE

Luke 4:18

Matthew 28:16-20

Freeing people frees us.

3, [FREE] EXTRAVAGANTLY

John 2:1-11

#4, [FREE] EMPATHY

Sympathy is feeling bad for someone.

Empathy is feeling bad with someone.

Jesus wept = Jesus had empathy

John 11:1-3, 17, 21-22, 33-36

Empathy builds trust with those we are feeling with.

We need to get better at feeling WITH instead of feeling FOR.

**What matters most: showing up and loving.

We are desperate to be seen.

We want to be seen not only for who we are but also for why we are.

[SEE] BIAS

Jesus:

Women, John 4:27; Luke 13:16; Luke 24:1–11

The poor, Luke 14:13–14

Racial enemies, John 4

Oppressors, Ephesians 2:14-17

[SEE] CLOSER

There are people in need of our compassion just on the other side of our opinions.

Holy Spirit

Acts 8:26-35

Get in their chariot!

What are the chariots that you need to get into?

[SEE] TO SERVE

Mark 10:42-45

[SEE] CLEARLY

We’ve got to get near so we can be clear.

Close the gap.

“Hey, (insert name) , I really miss you, friend. Want to _________?"

[SEE] JOURNEYS

“I’m not standing on issues; I’m walking with people.”

John 8:3-11

Jesus saw humans where others saw issues.

See bias.

See closer.

See to serve.

See clearly.

See journeys.

See HUMAN.

How does humanity get back on course?

It starts with us.

We forgot how to be.

[BE] YOU

THINK ABOUT IT…

Is there something about your story that you avoid sharing with others because you believe life would be easier without that part of your story being true?

The beautiful parts and the ugly parts of your story are relevant.

[BE] LOVE

Love God and love people.

John 15:12

YOU are worthy of love

[BE] COMPASSION

- sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others

[BE] LOVE

The truest form of compassion is found outside the walls of similarity.

Luke 10:33

There are many people who are in need of our compassion just on the other side of our opinions.

Matthew 18:12-13

Sometimes acting with compassion is so that you are reminded that you have it in you to give.

[BE] JUSTICE

We must put action to our conviction…

What is that going to look like?

Biblical justice (Tim Keller):

radical generosity

universal equality

life-changing advocacy

asymmetrical responsibility

[BE] WONDER

slowing down

awe and wonder

“What should slow down?”

Luke 24:18

Being human means purposefully bringing wonder into our lives.

Matthew 6:25-27

______________

Be you.

Be love.

Be compassion.

Be justice.

Be wonder.

Be human.