Love Your Neighbor—Even the Gay One (Especially the Gay One)
Every 45 seconds, an LGBTQ youth between the ages of 13 and 24 attempts suicide in the United States, according to the Trevor Project. These are our children—precious, beloved children. Yet more than one child every minute feels so hated, so despicable, so imperfectly made that they see no option but to end their own lives.
This isn’t just a theological debate—it’s a matter of life and death. By the time you finish reading this, several children will have attempted suicide because of the culture we’ve created. This is why this conversation matters. As Christians, it’s our responsibility to act with love and compassion, not condemnation and exclusion.
Why Address LGBTQ Issues in the Church?
This isn’t about “the gay agenda” or a cultural war—it’s about doing God’s will. Jesus commands us to love our neighbors, and yet the church has become a barrier for many people seeking God. We are literally standing in the way of God’s love for those who need it most.
During this discussion, I’ll address four key points:
- Christians should not judge non-Christians.
- The biblical case against homosexuality is weak and often misinterpreted.
- The pain caused by condemnation is real and contrary to Christ’s teachings.
- If I were Satan, I would use homophobia to divide the church and keep people away from God.
Let’s explore these points in depth.
1. Christians Should Not Judge Non-Christians
Paul makes it clear in 1 Corinthians 5:12-13: “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.”
Paul is explicit: Christians have no moral jurisdiction over non-Christians. Civil marriage is a civil institution, not a religious one. Yet, many Christians advocate for laws that impose their beliefs on others. This directly contradicts Paul’s teachings and ignores Jesus’ command to love our neighbors.
Neighbors, in the context of Matthew 22:39, include everyone, not just fellow believers. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you wouldn’t want your right to marry the person you love restricted, why would you deny that right to someone else? Loving your neighbor means treating them with the same dignity and respect you would want for yourself.
2. The Biblical Case Against Homosexuality Is Weak
The traditional arguments against homosexuality rely on a handful of passages: the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, Levitical laws, and references in the letters of Paul. Let’s examine these more closely.
The Sin of SodomGenesis 19 describes the men of Sodom demanding to sexually assault two angelic visitors. Many interpret this as a condemnation of homosexuality, but Ezekiel 16:49-50 provides a different perspective: “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me.”
The sins of Sodom are explicitly listed: arrogance, greed, neglect of the poor, and inhospitality. The attempted assault in Genesis 19 is about violence and dominance, not consensual relationships. This is not a story about loving same-sex couples—it’s a story about a city’s wickedness.
Levitical LawsLeviticus 18:22 and 20:13 label same-sex relations as “detestable.” However, these laws are part of a larger purity code that includes prohibitions against eating pork, wearing mixed fabrics, and planting multiple crops in the same field. Christians have long abandoned many of these laws as culturally specific and irrelevant today.
Even the word “detestable” (to’eva in Hebrew) is worth examining. To’eva is used elsewhere in the Bible to describe idol worship, unjust practices, and even eating unclean animals (Deuteronomy 7:25, 12:31). It does not universally signify moral condemnation—it often reflects ritual or cultural prohibitions.
Paul’s LettersPaul uses the Greek word arsenokoitai in passages like 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and 1 Timothy 1:9-10, which some translations render as “men who have sex with men.” However, this term likely refers to exploitative practices, such as sexual relationships between masters and slaves or other unequal dynamics, which were common in the ancient world. There is no evidence that arsenokoitai refers to consensual, loving same-sex relationships.
The broader context of these passages focuses on acts of lust, greed, and exploitation—not love. Paul’s audience would not have understood “homosexuality” as we do today; the concept of same-sex marriage or long-term, loving relationships did not exist in their culture.
Jesus on MarriageIn Matthew 19, Jesus refers to God creating male and female in the context of a discussion on divorce. This is often cited as evidence that marriage must be between a man and a woman. However, Jesus was addressing a specific question about divorce, not laying out a universal definition of marriage.
Furthermore, Jesus acknowledged that not everyone is called to traditional marriage. He speaks of eunuchs—those who are unable or unwilling to marry—as being accepted into God’s kingdom. This recognition of different life paths challenges the idea that all people must fit into a single mold.
3. The Pain Is Real, and It’s Not Loving
The impact of the church’s rejection of LGBTQ individuals is devastating. LGBTQ youth face disproportionate rates of depression, rejection, and suicide. Many grow up in churches that tell them their very existence is sinful, leading to feelings of unworthiness and despair.
If Christ’s teachings cause harm, they are being misapplied. Romans 13:10 states, “Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.” When condemnation leads to such suffering, it cannot be the work of Christ.
4. Satan’s Strategy: Division Through Homophobia
If I were Satan, I couldn’t design a better strategy to drive people away from God than convincing the church to condemn LGBTQ individuals. This stance not only alienates LGBTQ people but also their friends and family. As a result, entire communities see the church as unloving and judgmental.
John 3:16 declares, “For God so loved the world…”—the whole world, not just the parts we approve of. God’s love is inclusive, and the church must reflect that inclusivity.
Addressing Critics: What About Sin?
Some argue that homosexuality is inherently sinful and that LGBTQ individuals must repent to be part of the church. But if this is the case, why are divorced and remarried individuals often accepted without question? Matthew 19 explicitly condemns remarriage after divorce, yet this teaching is frequently ignored.
All of us are sinners in need of grace. Excluding LGBTQ individuals from God’s love while excusing other sins is hypocrisy.
Conclusion: Love Is the Greatest Commandment
At the heart of Christianity is the call to love God and love our neighbors. Denying LGBTQ individuals the ability to love, marry, and belong is a failure to live out this commandment.
Galatians 3:28 reminds us, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We are all equal in God’s eyes. It’s time for the church to live this truth.
If you’re wrestling with this issue or have thoughts to share, I invite you to reach out. Let’s engage in this discussion with humility, patience, and love. Together, we can reflect the inclusive, transformative love of Christ.
Key Points Discussed:
- Christians Should Not Judge Non-Christians:
- 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 (NIV): "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. 'Expel the wicked person from among you.'"
- The Biblical Case Against Homosexuality is Not Strong:
- We will examine three common arguments:
- Sodom and the fact that the sin of Sodom was not homosexuality but arrogance, inhospitality, and cruelty.
- Leviticus, what Levitical laws are still relevant, and what those, as well as the ones that Paul references actually refer to.
- Matthew 19, and Jesus discussion on marriage, and how this is not a condemnation for homosexuality (but becomes pretty awkward for remarried Christians who claim homosexuality is a sin).
- The Real Pain and Suffering:
- LGBTQ youth facing high suicide rates due to rejection and condemnation.
- If I Were Satan, This Would Be My Plan:
- Using homophobia to drive people away from the church and Christ.
Relevant Bible Verses Cited:On Not Judging Non-Christians:
- 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 (NIV): Christians have no moral jurisdiction over non-Christians.
Traditional Arguments Against Homosexuality:
- Genesis 19:5 (NIV): The sin of Sodom.
- Ezekiel 16:49-50 (NIV): The true sins of Sodom.
- Leviticus 18:22 (NIV): "Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable."
- Leviticus 20:13 (NIV): "If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."
- Romans 1:26-27 (NIV): Paul's discussion on shameful lusts.
- 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NIV): "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
- 1 Timothy 1:9-10 (NIV): "We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for the lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious; for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine."
Counterarguments and Inclusive Theology:
- John 3:16 (NIV): "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
- Romans 13:10 (NIV): "Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."
- Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV): "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
- Galatians 3:28 (NIV): "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
- 1 John 4:7-8 (NIV): "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
- Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV): "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Join us as we explore these important issues with compassion, understanding, and a desire to truly love our neighbors as ourselves. Whether you agree or disagree, this episode is meant to open up a dialogue that is crucial for the church today.
For feedback and discussion, email Michael at [email protected]. Share this episode with those who need to hear this message, and let's work together to build a more inclusive and loving church community.
