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False Accusations, High-Conflict Co-Parenting & Being The Scapegoat
If you’re constantly watching what you say, do, or post because you’re scared it’ll be twisted later — this episode is for you.
Because in a high-conflict stepfamily, “being nice” doesn’t always keep you safe.
Content note: this episode includes discussion of threats, violence, and false allegations.
What do you do when you love your stepchildren… but the wider system makes you feel unsafe?
In this honest conversation, Clare shares 11 years of stepfamily life across two completely different co-parenting realities: one respectful and workable — and one high-conflict dynamic where she’s been scrutinised, threatened, and repeatedly blamed for things she didn’t do.
You’ll hear what it’s like to become the “problem” in someone else’s story — from being told she wasn’t allowed to write in a reading diary, to living with the constant fear that anything she says could be misrepresented, to facing allegations that shattered her sense of safety in her own home.
We talk about the stepfamily dynamics underneath all of this: loyalty binds, distorted narratives, moving goalposts, and the invisible emotional labour that often falls on the stepmum. This isn’t about diagnosing anyone. It’s about naming the structure — and the cost — when a blended family system keeps putting one adult in the firing line.
If you’ve ever thought, “It would be easier if I disappeared,” or “I don’t know how to do this without losing myself,” you’ll feel deeply seen here.
What you’ll learn
- Why high-conflict stepfamily dynamics create chronic anxiety
- How loyalty binds can shape what children say (and why it destabilises you)
- What false accusations do to trust, safety, and confidence
- Why “being kind” isn’t the same as being safe
- How to set boundaries without hardening your heart
- How to protect your peace when co-parenting isn’t possible
If you’re a stepmum who feels on edge around contact, worries you’ll be blamed, or is carrying the emotional load of a difficult blended family — this episode is for you.
If Stepmum Space helps, you can follow/subscribe so new episodes land automatically. And if you know another stepmum dealing with a high-conflict ex, feel free to share this with her.
www.stepmumspace.com/stepmumreset
Support the show
View all episodes
By Katie SouthIf you’re constantly watching what you say, do, or post because you’re scared it’ll be twisted later — this episode is for you.
Because in a high-conflict stepfamily, “being nice” doesn’t always keep you safe.
Content note: this episode includes discussion of threats, violence, and false allegations.
What do you do when you love your stepchildren… but the wider system makes you feel unsafe?
In this honest conversation, Clare shares 11 years of stepfamily life across two completely different co-parenting realities: one respectful and workable — and one high-conflict dynamic where she’s been scrutinised, threatened, and repeatedly blamed for things she didn’t do.
You’ll hear what it’s like to become the “problem” in someone else’s story — from being told she wasn’t allowed to write in a reading diary, to living with the constant fear that anything she says could be misrepresented, to facing allegations that shattered her sense of safety in her own home.
We talk about the stepfamily dynamics underneath all of this: loyalty binds, distorted narratives, moving goalposts, and the invisible emotional labour that often falls on the stepmum. This isn’t about diagnosing anyone. It’s about naming the structure — and the cost — when a blended family system keeps putting one adult in the firing line.
If you’ve ever thought, “It would be easier if I disappeared,” or “I don’t know how to do this without losing myself,” you’ll feel deeply seen here.
What you’ll learn
- Why high-conflict stepfamily dynamics create chronic anxiety
- How loyalty binds can shape what children say (and why it destabilises you)
- What false accusations do to trust, safety, and confidence
- Why “being kind” isn’t the same as being safe
- How to set boundaries without hardening your heart
- How to protect your peace when co-parenting isn’t possible
If you’re a stepmum who feels on edge around contact, worries you’ll be blamed, or is carrying the emotional load of a difficult blended family — this episode is for you.
If Stepmum Space helps, you can follow/subscribe so new episodes land automatically. And if you know another stepmum dealing with a high-conflict ex, feel free to share this with her.
www.stepmumspace.com/stepmumreset
Support the show